If you support free speech, you must support people pinging other users. It's completely legal speech. If you won't defend pinging as free speech because you or someone else finds it disgusting, then no speech that you or anyone else views as disgusting is safe.
if it is in fact on shaky legal ground it's reasonable to not want to be the case that establishes it as illegal.
It's not, The reddit admins are straight up lying to the ignorant (like yourself) to justify their prejudice. Pinging being protected speech has long since been estabilished, as it has undeniable artistic merit. The only time it's been included under any obscenity laws is when someone is being charged with possession of harassment, so the state can slap them with more charges. The courts have been very careful to not charge anyone for pinging, because they'd get their asses fucking annihilated by a higher court due to the firm precedence of pinging being completely legal speech. /r/Drama had nothing to worry about, this guy was just making shit up to fool people into thinking his censoring wasn't entirely personally motivated.
She was not throwing herself at me, and she wasn't pretending.
IDK Why it's so hard to believe this. It was just a coincidence. It wasn't even that many coincidences, it was 2 (her crying about a memer, which turned out to be another guy, and her sleeping in a way that her butt touched me, which is easily explained by her naturally shifting in her sleep)
Lol. If you had reached over and pulled her closer to you, you would have at least made out, the fact that you did nothing means that she felt rejected and doesn't want to admit she would have liked to have touched your peter for at least that night.
Absolutely. You found flubbed it my friend. What would be the worse that would happen? She asks you what you're doing and you say I'm tryna smash. She says that's not what she's there for and you say then why are you rubbing your ass all over me. She feels weird, and you spend two weeks avoiding each other and then you find another girl to crush on. You missed out on what could have been a genuine and fulfilling relationship. Or at least a fun night.
No. She was not interested in me. You are all acting like I am mister Chad who goes about with women dangling off my dick. I literally have had sex with/kissed one girl ever, over a year ago. No woman wants me, even that one broke it off after a few weeks because she wasn't "ready for a relationship" and immediately started dating her current bf. It would not have been a fun night, it would have been a permanent stain on our relationship as friends when I try to touch her in a way she does not want, she says no, feels awkward, and never can feel the same around me again
So what. You aren't going to be best friends forever with this girl. She's a college friend. And as soon as you do get a girlfriend, you're gonna ignore her and let that friendship go. You're gonna hear a lot of no's and a few will say yes. The no's won't kill you.
You're doing friendship wrong if you want to fuck all your friends. Go join an outdoorsy club. Go become a manly man and learn social cues from the guys there. You'll get ripped from all the backpacking and climbing, and you'll meet some cool women who will introduce you to more cool women.
What a shitty pandering advice. This guy is basically a virgin: OBVIOUSLY he will get horny and confused whenever a woman start pushing her butt on his leg while they're both laying on his bed. Jesus Christ, he's not Superman
What part is the pandering part? I'm avoiding him to not only be friends with foids that he wants to fuck. He needs more male friends that he can learn from. The women in college are almost interchangeable, the same way the men are to women.
only being friends with foids that he wants to fuck.
What I'm saying is that it is natural for him to feel attraction in such a context, regardless of who's the woman, regardless of wether she is a friend, a stanger or a doll. Going outdoor, learning new hobbies and developing real friendships with other people won't help him: he genuinely needs to get laid and stop stressing over all this bullshit. Too bad it seems like he does not want to put any work in his social skills.
He's so worried about not losing any friends that he won't take a risk on one who's literally rubbing her ass on him. He needs more confidence and more maturity which being in a tight knit group of friends who do dangerous stuff will give him. And outdoorsy chicks are wild. He's already fit he said, he just needs confidence.
I guess we're saying the same thing. He should not go after his friends, my point is that if he is put in such a situation he is going to feel that kind of attraction regardless of the identity of the woman: wether she is a friend or not is irrelevant, since we are talking about a guy who had sex once. On another post I gave him a very similar advice: to practice his social skill on strangers in his uni (in your case it was outdoorsy people), since he does not have to worry about breaking a decent friendship anymore.
Yeah I agree. What I was saying is that his whole life is in shambles, not just his love life. If he develops social skills around well adjusted guy friends, he'll learn from them and get introduced to more girls that way. Being social itself will just bring him into contact with enough women that he won't feel crippling anxiety that one interaction could ruin his few chances at social activity.
She probably didn't even know she was doing that. So all the friends hear is "he randomly started grabbing me while I was in his bed" and I seem like a predator
I play a sport. I have friends on the team. I just don't have anyone who really cares for me sexually, and I guess I just have to live with that. Not everyone gets to be attractive.
No no no, stop this shit right here. Real life has nothing to do with reddit, you need to go REALLY far to gain a "creepy perv" reputation.
I mean, you already seem to think that she would ge furious with you if you made a move, OFC not. Regardless of what reddit tells you most women are reasonable, if she was not into you you literally just explain the situation and explain that you got mixed signals. She will not get mad, and even if she did you wousnt gain a creepy perv reputation just like that.
Look, maybe is sexist what I am about to say but in general women are much more forgiving than men. If you do a honest mistake they will forgive you.
Look, I used to be a bit like you and three things that helped me out a ton was 1) to finally get out of my head that the reason I didnt make a move wasnt because I was a gentlemen who cared and respected women and blahblahblah, was because I was afraid, because I was a coward 2) realize through observation that most women are not hurt by simple mistakes and that when they do get mad and hurt is when guys go way way too far 3) most people, and therefore most women, like positive attention of this kind, and being honest and straightforward is the best policy.
Next time, make a move. Think that whatever you are afraid of doing is probably the right thing to do.
Ok. I guess I could be riskier in my behavior. Maybe put an arm on her and see how she reacts. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol if she gets offended. But probably I just will try and communicate in the moment
People are calling you a retard and stuff but imo you did the right thing. One wrong move and your whole friendship would’ve been flushed down the toilet.
Maybe she just felt like having sex as a one time thing. Looking at the context of their relationship, OP was right not to engage. (aside from all the austistic antics)
Anyway, what are you going to do now that this whole ordeal is over? I know you've said you feel more confident now, but you felt the same way a few days ago, and in the end you ended up fizzling (think about those 2 times you failed to talk to your friend).
Are you going to do anything about it, now that you can focus on it without being worried of ruining a friendship? What's your plan?
That would be a bad idea, and you know it. Are you really not going to put any effort in something as major as, you know, your ability to talk to other people? Are you going to act like this for the rest of your life? Again, we both know that that's not a brilliant idea
By predicament I meant what you said in your last posts, mainly that you're going to do nothing and that you're going to rely on other ladies to talk to you. On that other matter I agree with you, you've done the right thing.
Also let me point out that I've told you to over-expose yourself SOCIALLY, not sexually. The last thing you need to do, as clueless as you are, is to go around harrassing women whose signals you can't interpret.
Right, good points. I should probably talk to people more. I just worry that I am a boring person to talk with, not very relatable, don't have fun anecdotes, etc. And people will rather talk to other people than me. The marginal benefit from talking with me is low for them compared to the marginal benefit from talking to someone else. This makes me feel like I would be bothering them if I choose to talk to them instead, so I usually don't.
Virtually no one will make these calculations, and in the context of universities most people will give you the benefit of the doubt during your first meetings. It's the perfect training ground. Moreover, this is how you get to have personal anecdotes (thay's not going to happen if you keep living this way)
So, stop overthinking it and try to forget your concept of arbitrary shame (it's okay to feel ashamed of certain things, but when those things start including "talking to other people" you just know you have some work to do). It is gradual, it takes time, and it won't ever happen if you don't start doing it. Things won't magically turn around by themselves
From now on I'll stop seriousposting, don't even bother to respond
That's what I have been saying. All I have going for me is being relatively fit, I have an ugly face and no confidence. I go to fucking social skills therapy for christ's sake
Yup, just like "Does this bed fit two?" and "It's cold in here." Also she put her ass on you before she fell asleep. I'm glad you're not all nervous anymore, but still. smdh @ you until it shakes clean off my shoulders.
I'm not some kind of forensics expert so I can't analyze the scene to try and determine a motive but I think I know her well enough to know how she feels about it and I believe what she said about not meaning anything
I'm not some kind of forensics expert so I can't analyze the scene to try and determine a motive
Don't need to be. There are literally high shool dropouts who would have caught up to what was going on. Heck, there are probably homeschooled aspies that aren't this socially maladjusted.
Simone wasn't his wife, she basically was his main bootycall/partner in crime (when it came to having sex with 17 yo refugee students). Sartre expressed only moderate attraction to her, she in turn loved him till death.
Again, check any biography or summary on his life. He's basically the proof that you can look like a goblin and still have the upmost influence on every women that will happen to cross your path (regardless of his stories with students: those supermodels and Simone were way outside of that context)
If you had made a move at the beginning, she may have actually been into you. When you act like you have over the past however many days, she's lost interest
Dude hey I've been in this EXACT situation. Like seriously, I've been there more than once. I don't think you're a retard for not doing anything because I did the exactly same thing - did nothing when the opportunity was staring me in the face then freaked out afterwards and tried to chase her to redeem myself. I get it. Dude I know it sounded sincere when she said she didnt mean anything by it but you really should believe me when I tell you this: she was lying to backtrack and save face. That's the truth. From everything you've said it's super obvious, but moreso because I've been in the exact situation myself.
In case you're not sure, this is what happened:
- she decided you were kinda cute/possible hookup.
- she began to drop hints and initiate something hoping you might pick up what she was putting down
- she got into your bed hoping/expecting naturally you'd make a move on her
- you didn't make any moves beacuse u werent sure if she was keen or if she was just naive (its okay, ur not coward for this)
- she was turned off by you lacking confidence and not picking up social hints but left her shoes there just to give it one more shot
- your room mate opened the door, opportunity missed but not your fault but nonetheless she at that point decided it wasnt worth it and that she wasn't interested anymore
- you asked her later what her intentions were
- not wanting to pursue anything with you anymore, she said no i wasn't interested it was just a friendly gesture, meant nothing by it etc etc.
feelsbadman.jpeg. I know. But seriously it's okay, the good news is that someone has told you this and you know now what went wrong. The BIGGEST MISTAKE you can make now is to not think that's what happened, beacuse it is. If you don't see where you went wrong you won't do anything differently next time and this will happen again. We don't want that.
Remember, you're not a retard or a coward you just lack experience. You just weren't sure how to test the waters to gauge a positive or negative response from her. You just weren't sure, that's it and that's fine. Don't bash yourself but please, for the love of god, don't be in denial of what happened. Learn from it :)
Feel free to message me if you want some advice on how to 'test the waters' but im sure if you head back over to relationship_advice there'll be plently of people who would have some great advice to help u make moves that aren't gonna get you in trouble, but will give you definite indications on whether or not you're good to go.
I am a woman who has been college aged and I have definitely slept with my guy friends in beds with them because I trust them because they're my god damn friends and yes, these are straight guys. I've woken up with one of their hands on my ass...and guess what? it didn't mean a thing. Maybe he wanted to fuck me but I had no interest in it and the boundaries were already clear, because we are friends.
So you teased a bunch of your male friends in college, and one of them sexually assaulted you? Nice. This is exactly why no college aged woman in her right mind sleeps in a bed with her male friends; she knows they would gladly have sex with her, and that dangling it in front of them is both taking needless risk, and mildly cruel (not saying he should have touched you). I appreciate your using this anecdotal experience to prove my point.
thank you for telling me what my own personal experience was.
Please put more words into my mouth. She acknowledged that she knew her male friends were interested in her. I simply pointed out that sleeping in the same bed as them is highly illogical behavior. It’s risky, even though it shouldn’t be, that’s just the reality; and yeah, I do think it’s rather cruel to send a signal like that when it isn’t actually congruent with what you want.
She added more context later in the thread, but based on her original reply in a vacuum, I stand by my response.
good luck with your future rape career. if you need tips on good rape shoes, let me know. personally i think they should be comfortable, not make much noise, and preferably be good to run in, in case you need to make a quick get away.
i can recommend some good cross trainers that i think will work nicely.
Idk. It was a while ago in some announcement thread maybe? When they announced the redesign? And people were like "wtf" so some people said to use old.reddit
I'm not diagnosed with anything. But I am kind of shy, especially with strangers and especially strangers who I feel I would "waster their time" if I talked to them- high status males and most females
I actually find that when talking with others who have clearly defined roles with regard to me - such as my manager at work, cops, professors, mentors, people I am tutoring, etc. I am actually very good at talking with them.
is a fucking fusion powered neon sign dude. If you already have a therapist or something fucking tell them this. You need at least a low dose of Xanax or weed.
No, she was definitely and absolutely sending you signals which you missed. But these things expire. So now she is embarrassed or no longer interested and telling you she was never interested as a white lie.
You don't have to believe me but we can all see this.
Nobody on here knows who I am, who she is, what I am like while AFK, how we interact, or any other of numerous factors which would be useful in determining whether or not she actually was interested, so what they think is less important to me than what she said. She said it in a way that made me believe that she was truthful.
She touched him, he made no move either then or later when she came back to his room several times to pick up/drop off various objects she had left/taken to give her an excuse to return, and when OP finally got his ass in gear to talk to her she said she meant nothing by all her obvious signs because she was embarrassed about being rejected.
You messed up by asking "what was that night about?" instead of dicking her down that night or asking her out.
Literally no one is going to say "oh yea, I was blatantly throwing myself at you" and risk what in their eyes will be rejection number 2.
Non-verbal communication -or 'signals'- exists because it gives us plausible deniability whike allowing us to express a measure of intent. Even if you're too awkward to ask her out straight, you can still show interest, she opens up, you adjust the interest you display to the new boundaries, and repeat the cycle until you're confident enough to ask her out or make a move. But since you didn't even show an ounce of interest, she felt forced to escalate to really blatant hints.
"Oh yea, I wanted you but you rejected me. That's what happened." -Literally no woman ever
I guess it's possible that what you are saying is true, but it's just as well one way or the other. She clearly isn't interested anymore, even if she was before, which she says she wasn't. Maybe in the future, I will ask more in the moment.
i've always been pretty autistic with women, and women have literally said to me, on a number of occasions, they were sending me signals and thought i rejected them.
Listen dumbass this isnt too late, shes embarassed as fuck but that doesnt mean shes suddenly not into you anymore. And she is 100%. Dont fucking talk about this shit with her ever again. EVER, just let it slide and pretend it didnt happen. Try and bump into her and offer to grab a bite or something but dont try and pay or some romantic bullshit. At this point she knows youre into her it doesnt need to be put on display for the moment, just try and find something to do alone with her without calling attention to it.
Pretty reasonable chance untill she starts banging someone else the doors not closed.
Kids you guys' age are fucking morans, shes going to be as shitty and inept at discussing feelings and being honest as you are.
200 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2018-10-24
If you support free speech, you must support people pinging other users. It's completely legal speech. If you won't defend pinging as free speech because you or someone else finds it disgusting, then no speech that you or anyone else views as disgusting is safe.
It's not, The reddit admins are straight up lying to the ignorant (like yourself) to justify their prejudice. Pinging being protected speech has long since been estabilished, as it has undeniable artistic merit. The only time it's been included under any obscenity laws is when someone is being charged with possession of harassment, so the state can slap them with more charges. The courts have been very careful to not charge anyone for pinging, because they'd get their asses fucking annihilated by a higher court due to the firm precedence of pinging being completely legal speech. /r/Drama had nothing to worry about, this guy was just making shit up to fool people into thinking his censoring wasn't entirely personally motivated.
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
1 Zeriell 2018-10-24
But seriously guys we CANNOT let Trump get his hands on the ping codes
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
This is amazing. Snappy gets better and better
1 degorius 2018-10-24
Oh shit a single word addendum I suggested made it to snappy.
This is better than when any of my kids were born.
1 Baconlightning 2018-10-24
1 POST_BUSSY 2018-10-24
I cannot breathe, I can't believe he made a fucking chart for that. HAHAHAHA
1 acidoverbasic 2018-10-24
Surprised tbh 🤷
I wonder if she thinks you're gay
1 uniqueguy263 2018-10-24
Clinginess and a complete lack of confidence turns off girls. She was into him but she’s not anymore
1 acidoverbasic 2018-10-24
It really did sound like she was throwing herself at him. Better to pretend she never liked him lol.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
She was not throwing herself at me, and she wasn't pretending.
IDK Why it's so hard to believe this. It was just a coincidence. It wasn't even that many coincidences, it was 2 (her crying about a memer, which turned out to be another guy, and her sleeping in a way that her butt touched me, which is easily explained by her naturally shifting in her sleep)
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
Lol. If you had reached over and pulled her closer to you, you would have at least made out, the fact that you did nothing means that she felt rejected and doesn't want to admit she would have liked to have touched your peter for at least that night.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
no way in hell
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
Absolutely. You found flubbed it my friend. What would be the worse that would happen? She asks you what you're doing and you say I'm tryna smash. She says that's not what she's there for and you say then why are you rubbing your ass all over me. She feels weird, and you spend two weeks avoiding each other and then you find another girl to crush on. You missed out on what could have been a genuine and fulfilling relationship. Or at least a fun night.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
No. She was not interested in me. You are all acting like I am mister Chad who goes about with women dangling off my dick. I literally have had sex with/kissed one girl ever, over a year ago. No woman wants me, even that one broke it off after a few weeks because she wasn't "ready for a relationship" and immediately started dating her current bf. It would not have been a fun night, it would have been a permanent stain on our relationship as friends when I try to touch her in a way she does not want, she says no, feels awkward, and never can feel the same around me again
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
So what. You aren't going to be best friends forever with this girl. She's a college friend. And as soon as you do get a girlfriend, you're gonna ignore her and let that friendship go. You're gonna hear a lot of no's and a few will say yes. The no's won't kill you.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I don't have that many friends. I don't want to scare away the few I DO have by trying to bang them.
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
You're doing friendship wrong if you want to fuck all your friends. Go join an outdoorsy club. Go become a manly man and learn social cues from the guys there. You'll get ripped from all the backpacking and climbing, and you'll meet some cool women who will introduce you to more cool women.
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
What a shitty pandering advice. This guy is basically a virgin: OBVIOUSLY he will get horny and confused whenever a woman start pushing her butt on his leg while they're both laying on his bed. Jesus Christ, he's not Superman
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
What part is the pandering part? I'm avoiding him to not only be friends with foids that he wants to fuck. He needs more male friends that he can learn from. The women in college are almost interchangeable, the same way the men are to women.
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
The point is that I doubt that he is
What I'm saying is that it is natural for him to feel attraction in such a context, regardless of who's the woman, regardless of wether she is a friend, a stanger or a doll. Going outdoor, learning new hobbies and developing real friendships with other people won't help him: he genuinely needs to get laid and stop stressing over all this bullshit. Too bad it seems like he does not want to put any work in his social skills.
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
He's so worried about not losing any friends that he won't take a risk on one who's literally rubbing her ass on him. He needs more confidence and more maturity which being in a tight knit group of friends who do dangerous stuff will give him. And outdoorsy chicks are wild. He's already fit he said, he just needs confidence.
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
I guess we're saying the same thing. He should not go after his friends, my point is that if he is put in such a situation he is going to feel that kind of attraction regardless of the identity of the woman: wether she is a friend or not is irrelevant, since we are talking about a guy who had sex once. On another post I gave him a very similar advice: to practice his social skill on strangers in his uni (in your case it was outdoorsy people), since he does not have to worry about breaking a decent friendship anymore.
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
Yeah I agree. What I was saying is that his whole life is in shambles, not just his love life. If he develops social skills around well adjusted guy friends, he'll learn from them and get introduced to more girls that way. Being social itself will just bring him into contact with enough women that he won't feel crippling anxiety that one interaction could ruin his few chances at social activity.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I don't want to fuck all my friends. If I make a big mistake like that with one of them, then the others will hear and think I am a creepy perv rapist
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
Lol, they'll only think that if you do rapey things. They won't think that if you are responding to a chick rubbing her ass on you.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
She probably didn't even know she was doing that. So all the friends hear is "he randomly started grabbing me while I was in his bed" and I seem like a predator
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
Then they'll ask, why were you in his bed.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
It's just not a situation I would want to put myself in.
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
Why do incels think not trying is a better strategy than not trying?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I'm sorry but I don't understand what this is asking.
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
I'm at work and got distracted by a meth head. I meant to say, why do incels think not trying is a better strategy than trying?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Try to do what? Feel up my non consenting friend? Hmm yeah why wouldn't I want to do that?
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
Good God man. If you are a troll you're phenomenal. You have that frustrating incel stubbornness down pat.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I'm not an incel. I had sex with a woman about a year ago.
1 alphetasauce 2018-10-24
And you never will again if you don't get out and make more friends. Go join a club of things you really like doing, preferably not nerdy shit.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I play a sport. I have friends on the team. I just don't have anyone who really cares for me sexually, and I guess I just have to live with that. Not everyone gets to be attractive.
1 ILieToCaptchas 2018-10-24
No no no, stop this shit right here. Real life has nothing to do with reddit, you need to go REALLY far to gain a "creepy perv" reputation.
I mean, you already seem to think that she would ge furious with you if you made a move, OFC not. Regardless of what reddit tells you most women are reasonable, if she was not into you you literally just explain the situation and explain that you got mixed signals. She will not get mad, and even if she did you wousnt gain a creepy perv reputation just like that.
Look, maybe is sexist what I am about to say but in general women are much more forgiving than men. If you do a honest mistake they will forgive you.
Look, I used to be a bit like you and three things that helped me out a ton was 1) to finally get out of my head that the reason I didnt make a move wasnt because I was a gentlemen who cared and respected women and blahblahblah, was because I was afraid, because I was a coward 2) realize through observation that most women are not hurt by simple mistakes and that when they do get mad and hurt is when guys go way way too far 3) most people, and therefore most women, like positive attention of this kind, and being honest and straightforward is the best policy.
Next time, make a move. Think that whatever you are afraid of doing is probably the right thing to do.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Ok. I guess I could be riskier in my behavior. Maybe put an arm on her and see how she reacts. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol if she gets offended. But probably I just will try and communicate in the moment
1 ILieToCaptchas 2018-10-24
No with her, with the next one.
1 ILieToCaptchas 2018-10-24
With her just be blatantly honest at some point and say what you feel with her
Why? Cause is already a mess. You dont lose anything if you try
1 MoonCricketJamFace 2018-10-24
I have one friend and I fuck the shit out of her. It’s great and it all started with a drunken night on the couch.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
God damn it
1 sidhantsv 2018-10-24
People are calling you a retard and stuff but imo you did the right thing. One wrong move and your whole friendship would’ve been flushed down the toilet.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Exactly.
1 Elite_AI 2018-10-24
lmao what
1 EarnestNoMeta 2018-10-24
yes way
1 rnjbond 2018-10-24
She's not even pretending, she's genuinely lost interest
1 Blinwar 2018-10-24
Maybe she just felt like having sex as a one time thing. Looking at the context of their relationship, OP was right not to engage. (aside from all the austistic antics)
1 Mircy 2018-10-24
yeah after seeing you sperg that invitation to smash expired
I'd fake it like she did if I was in her shoes
1 cmakk1012 2018-10-24
heh, shoes
1 Alicesnakebae 2018-10-24
Op just didn't want to get to jail for rape don't hate him
1 Mircy 2018-10-24
The only people who get metoo'd have cash tho
1 Wololol0w 2018-10-24
The bed would have split in two if it was you in it though.😜😜😜😂😂😂😏😏😏
1 Mircy 2018-10-24
And basad himself
1 deere442 2018-10-24
implying anyone would undergo the same mental gymnastics routine for trussy
1 Mircy 2018-10-24
What's trussy
1 deere442 2018-10-24
put on your thinking cap
1 Mircy 2018-10-24
I have a ~feminine benis~ tho
1 deere442 2018-10-24
HORK 🤢
1 Mircy 2018-10-24
BANNED
1 rnjbond 2018-10-24
Yeah, what kind of girl wouldn't be into a guy that lacks even a shred of confidence?
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
She was impressed by his costant dabbing
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I told you, that was a different guy, who had rejected her, so she was rationalizing why she dint like him after all. I don't even dab much
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
Anyway, what are you going to do now that this whole ordeal is over? I know you've said you feel more confident now, but you felt the same way a few days ago, and in the end you ended up fizzling (think about those 2 times you failed to talk to your friend).
Are you going to do anything about it, now that you can focus on it without being worried of ruining a friendship? What's your plan?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Idk what I'll do. Probably nothing
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
That would be a bad idea, and you know it. Are you really not going to put any effort in something as major as, you know, your ability to talk to other people? Are you going to act like this for the rest of your life? Again, we both know that that's not a brilliant idea
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Well if a girl actually likes me I'll talk to her and hopefully make a move at the right time. But this wasn't a time like that
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
The point is that in this predicament you are unable to take any initiative, not omly under the sheets but also in social gatherings.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
No, in this predicament I did the right thing:
Didn't act because she wasn't into me
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
By predicament I meant what you said in your last posts, mainly that you're going to do nothing and that you're going to rely on other ladies to talk to you. On that other matter I agree with you, you've done the right thing.
Also let me point out that I've told you to over-expose yourself SOCIALLY, not sexually. The last thing you need to do, as clueless as you are, is to go around harrassing women whose signals you can't interpret.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Right, good points. I should probably talk to people more. I just worry that I am a boring person to talk with, not very relatable, don't have fun anecdotes, etc. And people will rather talk to other people than me. The marginal benefit from talking with me is low for them compared to the marginal benefit from talking to someone else. This makes me feel like I would be bothering them if I choose to talk to them instead, so I usually don't.
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
Virtually no one will make these calculations, and in the context of universities most people will give you the benefit of the doubt during your first meetings. It's the perfect training ground. Moreover, this is how you get to have personal anecdotes (thay's not going to happen if you keep living this way)
So, stop overthinking it and try to forget your concept of arbitrary shame (it's okay to feel ashamed of certain things, but when those things start including "talking to other people" you just know you have some work to do). It is gradual, it takes time, and it won't ever happen if you don't start doing it. Things won't magically turn around by themselves
From now on I'll stop seriousposting, don't even bother to respond
1 gaynazifurry4bernie 2018-10-24
Fuck her friend.
1 cmakk1012 2018-10-24
Join your local Proud Boys chapter, then you’ll be in the news
Chicks dig famous people
1 shallowm 2018-10-24
it's over, boyo 😞
1 RollBread 2018-10-24
1 transoceanicdeath 2018-10-24
i love this guy
1 TUMS_FESTIVAL 2018-10-24
You know you hang out with absolute losers when "guy who constantly dabs" describes more than one person in the group.
1 wewladin 2018-10-24
NPC > start FortNiteDance.exe -swingArmsMode
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
That's what I have been saying. All I have going for me is being relatively fit, I have an ugly face and no confidence. I go to fucking social skills therapy for christ's sake
1 Neon_needles 2018-10-24
🤺 en garde' Weiner boy
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
Sartre used to fuck supermodels while being a 5'0 cross-eyed goblin. You have no excuse
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Ok buddy :)) know any models who want to fuck? I'm available
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
You can't even bang a girl grinding on you in your own bed. You'd literally die in terror if a supermodel was withing 20 feet of you.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
"grinding" more like just sleeping. Moving in sleep is normal
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
Yup, just like "Does this bed fit two?" and "It's cold in here." Also she put her ass on you before she fell asleep. I'm glad you're not all nervous anymore, but still. smdh @ you until it shakes clean off my shoulders.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I'm not some kind of forensics expert so I can't analyze the scene to try and determine a motive but I think I know her well enough to know how she feels about it and I believe what she said about not meaning anything
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
I'm very sure she has no interest in fooling around with or dating you.
Anymore.
1 POST_BUSSY 2018-10-24
OP fucked up majorly, but he can still salvage this tbh. What he needs to do is give her a way out of the embarrassment.
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
No. It's over, and he's nowhere near ready.
1 POST_BUSSY 2018-10-24
Lmao, I still can't believe he missed that signal when she insisted on sleeping on the same tiny bed with him
1 ItsSugar 2018-10-24
Don't need to be. There are literally high shool dropouts who would have caught up to what was going on. Heck, there are probably homeschooled aspies that aren't this socially maladjusted.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Look man, it isn't that complex. She was not into me. Anything I interpreted as her showing interest was a misunderstanding. Simple as that.
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
What a comforting lie to tell yourself.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I'm not telling myself it, she is telling me it
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
Yup. And you believed her lie.
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
Master the art of conversation, that's how he got laid 50% of the times (the other 50% was him having sex with student refugees)
1 Chronicopia420 2018-10-24
Radical centrism
1 transoceanicdeath 2018-10-24
that was back when edgy was mysterious and cool
1 preserved_fish 2018-10-24
*wall-eyed
1 Watermark03 2018-10-24
Sartre was literally a cuck though, he was in an open relationship and you can be Simone de Beauvoir took a lot of dick.
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
Wrong, Simone was the cucked one since she actually loved him. It's all well documented.
1 Watermark03 2018-10-24
Be that as it may, his friends still fucked his wife and he was OK with it :
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacques-Laurent_Bost
1 PierligBouloven 2018-10-24
Simone wasn't his wife, she basically was his main bootycall/partner in crime (when it came to having sex with 17 yo refugee students). Sartre expressed only moderate attraction to her, she in turn loved him till death.
Again, check any biography or summary on his life. He's basically the proof that you can look like a goblin and still have the upmost influence on every women that will happen to cross your path (regardless of his stories with students: those supermodels and Simone were way outside of that context)
1 rnjbond 2018-10-24
If you had made a move at the beginning, she may have actually been into you. When you act like you have over the past however many days, she's lost interest
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
She doesn't know how I've been acting the last few days since I only have been acting like this on Reddit and in private
1 EarnestNoMeta 2018-10-24
lol she knows because unlike you she isn't some autismo wizard that is unable to read the most obvious social clues ever
1 bring_0ut_the_gimp 2018-10-24
Dude hey I've been in this EXACT situation. Like seriously, I've been there more than once. I don't think you're a retard for not doing anything because I did the exactly same thing - did nothing when the opportunity was staring me in the face then freaked out afterwards and tried to chase her to redeem myself. I get it. Dude I know it sounded sincere when she said she didnt mean anything by it but you really should believe me when I tell you this: she was lying to backtrack and save face. That's the truth. From everything you've said it's super obvious, but moreso because I've been in the exact situation myself.
In case you're not sure, this is what happened: - she decided you were kinda cute/possible hookup. - she began to drop hints and initiate something hoping you might pick up what she was putting down - she got into your bed hoping/expecting naturally you'd make a move on her - you didn't make any moves beacuse u werent sure if she was keen or if she was just naive (its okay, ur not coward for this) - she was turned off by you lacking confidence and not picking up social hints but left her shoes there just to give it one more shot - your room mate opened the door, opportunity missed but not your fault but nonetheless she at that point decided it wasnt worth it and that she wasn't interested anymore - you asked her later what her intentions were - not wanting to pursue anything with you anymore, she said no i wasn't interested it was just a friendly gesture, meant nothing by it etc etc.
feelsbadman.jpeg. I know. But seriously it's okay, the good news is that someone has told you this and you know now what went wrong. The BIGGEST MISTAKE you can make now is to not think that's what happened, beacuse it is. If you don't see where you went wrong you won't do anything differently next time and this will happen again. We don't want that.
Remember, you're not a retard or a coward you just lack experience. You just weren't sure how to test the waters to gauge a positive or negative response from her. You just weren't sure, that's it and that's fine. Don't bash yourself but please, for the love of god, don't be in denial of what happened. Learn from it :)
Feel free to message me if you want some advice on how to 'test the waters' but im sure if you head back over to relationship_advice there'll be plently of people who would have some great advice to help u make moves that aren't gonna get you in trouble, but will give you definite indications on whether or not you're good to go.
1 Think_Once 2018-10-24
Wait, what? Joining a self help group after interacting with a women isn't attractive?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I was already in the group
1 bring_0ut_the_gimp 2018-10-24
don't bash the guy for being in a mental health group tf. Get a grip that's such a shitty thing to say
1 transoceanicdeath 2018-10-24
confidence is for retards.
1 wisty 2018-10-24
https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9r4vj6/hello_you_may_remember_me_from_the_post_i_made_a/e8e90mo
1 radicalcentrism101 2018-10-24
She's a whore
1 wisty 2018-10-24
Or maybe she's fat, and was hoping they would try something.
1 AlveolarPressure 2018-10-24
What a massive tease
1 TransexualWeiner 2018-10-24
the guy that wrote the "how dare you dangle yourself and tease men like that , it's cruel" shit, is a legit a rapist, or future rapist.
1 D_Esteem 2018-10-24
Please put more words into my mouth. She acknowledged that she knew her male friends were interested in her. I simply pointed out that sleeping in the same bed as them is highly illogical behavior. It’s risky, even though it shouldn’t be, that’s just the reality; and yeah, I do think it’s rather cruel to send a signal like that when it isn’t actually congruent with what you want.
She added more context later in the thread, but based on her original reply in a vacuum, I stand by my response.
1 TransexualWeiner 2018-10-24
good luck with your future rape career. if you need tips on good rape shoes, let me know. personally i think they should be comfortable, not make much noise, and preferably be good to run in, in case you need to make a quick get away.
i can recommend some good cross trainers that i think will work nicely.
1 TheRobidog 2018-10-24
Well, you're gonna be putting entirely different things into entirely different people's mouths, my mate.
1 Starship_Litterbox_C 2018-10-24
Imagine putting all this effort and thought into the shallowest, most barely-human creatures on this planet.
Her face in ten years when she hits the wall. Stay safe out there, boys.
1 necromatriarch 2018-10-24
You think a retard who makes spreadsheets about human emotions is going to appreciate in value?
Fuckin' HOFDL idiots.
1 Starship_Litterbox_C 2018-10-24
Why does he need value to women when he can trade that in for a happy life away from them?
1 necromatriarch 2018-10-24
This bitch obsessed about a non-event for days. He ain't neva gonna have a happy life.
1 Starship_Litterbox_C 2018-10-24
Oh shit
1 wootfatigue 2018-10-24
Is that Snally?
1 wwyzzerdd 2018-10-24
/u/snallygaster is the mom on Squidbillies.
1 Sea_Safe 2018-10-24
this but unironically
1 Starship_Litterbox_C 2018-10-24
😏
1 Sea_Safe 2018-10-24
Based and redpilled.
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
This is a travesty. OP delete your...delete your dick? I dunno, delete something. Good lord.
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
> old.reddit.com
Why would a non drama user/shitposter use old.reddit.com?
You’ve been outed aspie. Nice troll
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Not troll, just a lose
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
Why old.reddit.com?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
The redesign blows ass
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
Yes and?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
And what? I don't want to use it so I did old.
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
But how did you know you could do that?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Because I've used Reddit for like 6 years
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
So are you active in the metasphere?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
No, but my last post was cross posted here and I wanted to defend myself from all the haters who said I could get laid
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
So how did old.reddit.com even come up for you?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
What's with the third degree man. I don't like the redesign, someone said to use old.reddit and it's normal, so I do
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
Who told you that? How would it even come up?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Idk. It was a while ago in some announcement thread maybe? When they announced the redesign? And people were like "wtf" so some people said to use old.reddit
1 wewladin 2018-10-24
ur a fucking fag
1 Norci 2018-10-24
You're succeeding at being more autistic than OP.
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
Oh no! My reputation on drama is being tarnished!! What do!!!
1 Norci 2018-10-24
Deleting your account is a good first step.
1 CharlesSchwabSucks2 2018-10-24
lol EPIC!!!!! XD well played friendo
1 Norci 2018-10-24
Thank you
1 poopy_pant_poster 2018-10-24
do you seriously think that r/drama is the only subreddit that dislikes the redesign ??
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
all the haters
the haters who believed in me
No worries, won't happen again.
1 preserved_fish 2018-10-24
Snappy pls.
1 EarnestNoMeta 2018-10-24
that's not what a hater is
1 ILieToCaptchas 2018-10-24
Wish I had that kind of hater tbh fam
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Don't, they are mean
1 MoonCricketJamFace 2018-10-24
He consented to pinging in the previous thread, but refused to provide his main.
1 umar4812 2018-10-24
So change your preferences to force old design.
1 Blinwar 2018-10-24
You haven't noticed how every spezpost is met with "reeee the redesign sucks"? old.reddit isn't a niche thing.
1 Mircy 2018-10-24
Did you draw a chart detailing your fail also?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
No, it wasn't necessary because her words were not as ambiguous as the actions of the previous night
1 Mircy 2018-10-24
You should make a chart nonetheless
1 MemoirsofCrime 2018-10-24
Goddamnit Mircy, give him some mercy.
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
user reports:
1 JeanPeuplu 2018-10-24
Serious question : are you on the autism spectrum?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I've been told I am not by therapists. I am just weird
1 transoceanicdeath 2018-10-24
Do you have social anxiety disorder?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I'm not diagnosed with anything. But I am kind of shy, especially with strangers and especially strangers who I feel I would "waster their time" if I talked to them- high status males and most females
1 transoceanicdeath 2018-10-24
like "authority figures"
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I actually find that when talking with others who have clearly defined roles with regard to me - such as my manager at work, cops, professors, mentors, people I am tutoring, etc. I am actually very good at talking with them.
1 transoceanicdeath 2018-10-24
Me too. That's exactly how my brain works.
1 umar4812 2018-10-24
I'm just gonna say that you're showing some pretty clear signs of social anxiety.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
What should I say to my therapist to get her to help fix that
1 acidoverbasic 2018-10-24
"I think I have social anxiety."
For real, keep seeing a therapist. It should help a lot.
1 degorius 2018-10-24
I have crippling anxiety, this
is a fucking fusion powered neon sign dude. If you already have a therapist or something fucking tell them this. You need at least a low dose of Xanax or weed.
1 UnexpectedLizard 2018-10-24
I didn't know I was Aspergers until I was in my young 30s, despite seeing therapists since I was 15. So don't take that as set in stone.
The level of cluelessness you're experiencing here is extremely not normal. Please consider researching it a bit more. I wish I had known at your age.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I don't think I am clueless. In fact, I am less clueless than all of the people who said I was wrong, because I was right.
1 UnexpectedLizard 2018-10-24
No, she was definitely and absolutely sending you signals which you missed. But these things expire. So now she is embarrassed or no longer interested and telling you she was never interested as a white lie.
You don't have to believe me but we can all see this.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Nobody on here knows who I am, who she is, what I am like while AFK, how we interact, or any other of numerous factors which would be useful in determining whether or not she actually was interested, so what they think is less important to me than what she said. She said it in a way that made me believe that she was truthful.
1 Nom_Chompy 2018-10-24
Because you are a friend and she both didn't want to hurt your feelings and also didn't want to own up to the embarrassment of you rejecting her.
1 TheRobidog 2018-10-24
So we've got two options here:
And considering what we know about you, I'm going with option B.
1 darth_tiffany 2018-10-24
I am not reading some autistic novel about the time a girl touched you. Bottom line this for me OP.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
She did not touch ne
1 AlveolarPressure 2018-10-24
She touched him, he made no move either then or later when she came back to his room several times to pick up/drop off various objects she had left/taken to give her an excuse to return, and when OP finally got his ass in gear to talk to her she said she meant nothing by all her obvious signs because she was embarrassed about being rejected.
1 TransexualWeiner 2018-10-24
he slept in bed with her, drunk. he thought she might like him. he confronted her, she didn't.
everyone on reddit is being a sperg and telling him they know 100% what she really thinks or feels, but doesn't matter, she said no, it's over.
1 ItsSugar 2018-10-24
You messed up by asking "what was that night about?" instead of dicking her down that night or asking her out.
Literally no one is going to say "oh yea, I was blatantly throwing myself at you" and risk what in their eyes will be rejection number 2.
Non-verbal communication -or 'signals'- exists because it gives us plausible deniability whike allowing us to express a measure of intent. Even if you're too awkward to ask her out straight, you can still show interest, she opens up, you adjust the interest you display to the new boundaries, and repeat the cycle until you're confident enough to ask her out or make a move. But since you didn't even show an ounce of interest, she felt forced to escalate to really blatant hints.
"Oh yea, I wanted you but you rejected me. That's what happened." -Literally no woman ever
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
I guess it's possible that what you are saying is true, but it's just as well one way or the other. She clearly isn't interested anymore, even if she was before, which she says she wasn't. Maybe in the future, I will ask more in the moment.
1 MargarineIsEvil 2018-10-24
Next time just ask straight out and if they reject you just pretend you were drunk and can't remember the next day.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Maybe good advice..
1 MargarineIsEvil 2018-10-24
It's probably highly dishonest but awkward peeps need to get by.
1 ILieToCaptchas 2018-10-24
Move on to the next girl now. Like you said with this one is too late
1 TransexualWeiner 2018-10-24
i've always been pretty autistic with women, and women have literally said to me, on a number of occasions, they were sending me signals and thought i rejected them.
1 agenderphobe 2018-10-24
Now that you have learned the terrible secret of gussy, it's time for you to graduate to bussy.
1 degorius 2018-10-24
Listen dumbass this isnt too late, shes embarassed as fuck but that doesnt mean shes suddenly not into you anymore. And she is 100%. Dont fucking talk about this shit with her ever again. EVER, just let it slide and pretend it didnt happen. Try and bump into her and offer to grab a bite or something but dont try and pay or some romantic bullshit. At this point she knows youre into her it doesnt need to be put on display for the moment, just try and find something to do alone with her without calling attention to it.
Pretty reasonable chance untill she starts banging someone else the doors not closed.
Kids you guys' age are fucking morans, shes going to be as shitty and inept at discussing feelings and being honest as you are.
1 EarnestNoMeta 2018-10-24
congratulations, you played yourself
1 itsnotmyfault 2018-10-24
You're a fucking retard, you stupid sack of shit. God damn are you retarded.
She's was obviously fucking into you and you obviously rejected her and now she's trying to play off all the signs she gave you.
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
No
1 SuitableHippo999 2018-10-24
Do you know this other dabber guy?
If yes, have you ever considered driving off a cliff with him?
1 helpihavenogf 2018-10-24
Hahaha