Now, bear with me as I set the stage:
Jonathan Bergowitz, 8, has just taken the field in his first soccer game, the year is 1995 and Bergowitz is a whopping 3’8 and 45 pounds, his nose compromising 12% of his body weight. He takes the field and as soon as the whistle blows little Jonathan surges straight to ball, he raises his shriveled leg, cocks it up and goes to release the most power his kosher little body could muster, but right before he makes contact something hits him. Roger Smith. The 5 foot 85 pounds grain fed all American. The sheer power of this patriotic tyke knocks Bergowitz to the ground, shattering his femur and crushing any hope of him going pro or participating in any athletics besides speed money counting and Counter Strike: Golan Heights. In this moment Bergowitz knew what he had to do, he must become a blue check mark and rally for the mayocide.
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Yet I'm supposed to sympathise with a mediocre w-slur man with delusions of authority and profundity? The man's a living microcosm of w-slur men in the age of social media. Aww, Twitter radicalized him into thinking he's got cultural relevance.
I was not excited when I saw the photos from the set. It looked forced and bad, but the trailer makes it seem like Joaquin went full method on this one, and if anyone remembers his villain role in Gladiator, this could be some pretty decent stuff.
I love being subscribed to The Escapist on YouTube for Zero Punctuation which gets 500k views on the regular and see right next to it a MovieBob vid with less than 20k views that was uploaded days ago.
I love seeing Bob thinking himself an intelectual while being a fat slob living in his relatives' basemaent and making terrible videos nobody watches. It's the little things, really.
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everyone knows that all the best villains in fiction are 1 dimensional and have zero development beyond "is evil". you are never made to sympathize with villains in movies. ever.
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"The worst part he probably has no real opinion. He knows its popular on twitter right now and is desperately signalling with what amounts to a "appeal to hot take outlets" tweet generator. Its got hawite in the title, its got inshll bait, its a rather pathetic please hire me plea."
lmao that one of the replies farther down the chain and very fucxing spot on
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So wait, are we seriously going back to the days where there are people unironically (and I mean unironically unironically, not /r/Drama unironically) having the same thought process that led America to think the Hays Code was a good idea?
I mean, on one hand, Dramacoin will skyrocket, but on the other hand, censorship will become much more common and will be carried out for much stupider reasons, meaning we'd have to agree with /r/KotakuInAction more often.
60 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2019-04-04
Being a racist loser that makes fun of racist losers doesn't make you any less of a racist loser.
Pretending you're too stupid to understand how you spend your free time doesn't make it any less pathetic to spend your free time that way.
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
1 Alicesnakebae 2019-04-04
I'd love to see the origin story of a blue check mark gone mad
1 Stoicpeace 2019-04-04
Pushed into a bar of radioactive soylent.
1 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-04-04
Its called silence of the lambs. Buffalo Bill was just fighting cis-normativity by removing and wearing the skin of mayo gssy.
1 Watermark03s_Daddy 2019-04-04
Now, bear with me as I set the stage: Jonathan Bergowitz, 8, has just taken the field in his first soccer game, the year is 1995 and Bergowitz is a whopping 3’8 and 45 pounds, his nose compromising 12% of his body weight. He takes the field and as soon as the whistle blows little Jonathan surges straight to ball, he raises his shriveled leg, cocks it up and goes to release the most power his kosher little body could muster, but right before he makes contact something hits him. Roger Smith. The 5 foot 85 pounds grain fed all American. The sheer power of this patriotic tyke knocks Bergowitz to the ground, shattering his femur and crushing any hope of him going pro or participating in any athletics besides speed money counting and Counter Strike: Golan Heights. In this moment Bergowitz knew what he had to do, he must become a blue check mark and rally for the mayocide.
Thank you I accept donations.
1 boyoyoyoyong 2019-04-04
(((every))) single time
1 Seattle_Bussy_Lmao 2019-04-04
Twitter Jews != Jews
They’re far worse.
1 matt123hihat 2019-04-04
Which ones
1 cheers_grills 2019-04-04
Both of them.
1 ReadMyNamePlz 2019-04-04
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
1 [deleted] 2019-04-04
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2019-04-04
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1 Slump_o 2019-04-04
“freelance film critic”
I can think of no one that “mediocre w slur man” would apply to more.
1 headasplodes 2019-04-04
I don't think film critic is a profession in which you can be freelance
1 alienfrostweaver 2019-04-04
"Freelance film critic" is just an unemployed nerd who thinks people care about his opinions on movies.
1 jacc1337 2019-04-04
Unemployment cheque author
1 PlumCorruptor 2019-04-04
Blue-checkmarkcide when?
1 ironicshitpostr 2019-04-04
Inshallah
1 bG9sIG5pY2UgdHJ5Cg 2019-04-04
Hopefully twitter will finally crash out of business and we can breathe easily again.
1 TheSomaCruz 2019-04-04
Literally who.
1 [deleted] 2019-04-04
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2019-04-04
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1 [deleted] 2019-04-04
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2019-04-04
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1 VelvetDreamers 2019-04-04
Yet I'm supposed to sympathise with a mediocre w-slur man with delusions of authority and profundity? The man's a living microcosm of w-slur men in the age of social media. Aww, Twitter radicalized him into thinking he's got cultural relevance.
1 MG87 2019-04-04
Joaquin Pheonix is an awesome actor, and a pretty weird guy. So this should be a good movie.
1 Stoicpeace 2019-04-04
What the movie has going for it.
The cast particularly Phoenix and the composer.
The director(The Hangover series) and writer(8 mile) while having some hits don't exactly bring in confidence.
1 Aivias 2019-04-04
The fact its a WB/DC movie should be enough to tell you its going to be a muddled mess
1 Futhermucker 2019-04-04
it won't
1 Zero5urvivers 2019-04-04
LOOK MOM I SAID THE THING AGAIN
1 Futhermucker 2019-04-04
LOOK MOM I MADE THE SAME MOVIE AGAIN
1 UhmOkSweaty 2019-04-04
W I T T Y
Q
U
I
P
S
1 snallygaster 2019-04-04
is he wwrong tho??
1 WeWuzKANG5 2019-04-04
I was not excited when I saw the photos from the set. It looked forced and bad, but the trailer makes it seem like Joaquin went full method on this one, and if anyone remembers his villain role in Gladiator, this could be some pretty decent stuff.
1 Bries_Butt_Double 2019-04-04
What sound does it make when you 🤜👃 a 🤡 twice❓
1 donquixote4200 2019-04-04
why include the race
1 bG9sIG5pY2UgdHJ5Cg 2019-04-04
*whistling to the dog
1 opi 2019-04-04
Full expected it to be MovieBlob.
1 HostOfTheNightmare 2019-04-04
I love being subscribed to The Escapist on YouTube for Zero Punctuation which gets 500k views on the regular and see right next to it a MovieBob vid with less than 20k views that was uploaded days ago.
The perfect pick me up on a bad day.
1 opi 2019-04-04
I love seeing Bob thinking himself an intelectual while being a fat slob living in his relatives' basemaent and making terrible videos nobody watches. It's the little things, really.
1 [deleted] 2019-04-04
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2019-04-04
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1 d-amazo 2019-04-04
everyone knows that all the best villains in fiction are 1 dimensional and have zero development beyond "is evil". you are never made to sympathize with villains in movies. ever.
1 mtg_liebestod 2019-04-04
Unless they are well-intentioned extremists that progressives can sympathize with, eg. Killmonger.
1 gemininature 2019-04-04
Or victims of heavy-handed rape allegories like Maleficent
1 Lukthar123 2019-04-04
rape allegories like Maleficent
greenskins aren't people
1 removexenos 2019-04-04
Why is gr**nskin not filtered?
MODS
1 WeWuzKANG5 2019-04-04
Maybe on the disney channel...
1 Bluewhaleswimmer 2019-04-04
Capeshit has less character depth than Disney Channel Sitcoms
1 [deleted] 2019-04-04
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2019-04-04
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1 factsd0ntlie 2019-04-04
Haha b i t c h
1 trumps_yellow_pubes 2019-04-04
Holy shit another fucking capeshit film
1 [deleted] 2019-04-04
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2019-04-04
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1 byobombs 2019-04-04
"The worst part he probably has no real opinion. He knows its popular on twitter right now and is desperately signalling with what amounts to a "appeal to hot take outlets" tweet generator. Its got hawite in the title, its got inshll bait, its a rather pathetic please hire me plea."
lmao that one of the replies farther down the chain and very fucxing spot on
1 [deleted] 2019-04-04
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2019-04-04
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1 32624647 2019-04-04
So wait, are we seriously going back to the days where there are people unironically (and I mean unironically unironically, not /r/Drama unironically) having the same thought process that led America to think the Hays Code was a good idea?
I mean, on one hand, Dramacoin will skyrocket, but on the other hand, censorship will become much more common and will be carried out for much stupider reasons, meaning we'd have to agree with /r/KotakuInAction more often.
1 slaydastream 2019-04-04
lmao