r/drama: I want /r/drama to help me with going to the club to meet women

I want /r/drama to help me with going to the club to meet women

213 2019-07-10 by MasterLawlz

I would very much appreciate feedback on the gameplan I have for inticing human females with my presence

So, first off, the opening line. I was thinking "Hello, my name is [REDACTED]. I moderate multiple subreddits and have over 400k post and comment karma as well". Women like a man with power and I have more than almost anyone. If she publically associates with me then I could sticky one of her posts on this sub. Intercourse could even get me to make her an approved submitter. Not a mod though, that's a bit far.

As far as attire, I found this snazzy jacket on Amazon. It's genuine leather and thankfully comes in a 3XL (a bit tight but I plan on losing some water weight before going out).

And finally, dancing. This will be the most crucial element. I take it that most of you are familiar with the dance "the running man"? I plan on making my own variation where instead of emulating a normal person's gait in a fixed position, I will emulate the far superior Naruto/Sonic the Hedgehog run wherein my arms are pointed directly behind my back to make myself more aerodynamic. It will be a novel take on a classic and I cannot imagine it not being impressive to members of the opposite sex.

Please let me know what your thoughts are on all of this and if you have any further advice, I would love to hear it. Although, I think my bases are pretty well covered.

106 comments

2 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2019-07-10

Any club where you're allowed in dressed in that jacket isn't really a club.

1 SnapshillBot 2019-07-10

You're not shit next to me. My genes are just light years superior to yours and I don't even need to look at you.

Snapshots:

I want /r/drama to help me with goi... - archive.org, archive.today, removeddit.com
this snazzy jacket - archive.org, archive.today

I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers

1 trappysaruh 2019-07-10

I want /r/drama to help me with going to the club to meet women

no u dont. u didnt listen the last time my advice won.

1 byobombs 2019-07-10

I’m dying to hear this advice plz

1 trappysaruh 2019-07-10

let goys control his dating profile

1 byobombs 2019-07-10

Oi vey you really think (((they))) can get this schwartzer laid?

2 trappysaruh 2019-07-10

atg is a miracle worker

1 byobombs 2019-07-10

Well Lawlz, looks like you’ve got literally one shot.

1 ChicagoBallgazeFan 2019-07-10

One opportunity.

1 BernieMadeoffSanders 2019-07-10

To seize everything you ever wanted

1 AnnoysTheGoys 2019-07-10

Consentually even

1 TaysSecondGussy 2019-07-10

Wow you are really selling yourself. I’d put a disclaimer on that.

1 XhotwheelsloverX 2019-07-10

Boging

1 AnnoysTheGoys 2019-07-10

That's my safe word

1 Jas0nJewnova 2019-07-10

I've never been more offended that you didn't say me. I'm porking the hottest drama foid ffs (not saying much I know)

1 trappysaruh 2019-07-10

sorry senpai

1 Slump_o 2019-07-10

drama

foid

nice to meet a fellow trap enthusiast

1 charming_tatum 2019-07-10

Why dont we just create a dating profile for him? Why does goys need lawlz permission to do that?

1 AnnoysTheGoys 2019-07-10

The singles have to actually be in his area for this to work

1 Zozbot 2019-07-10

zoz

1 Zozbot 2019-07-10

zle

1 Zozbot 2019-07-10

zozzle

1 charming_tatum 2019-07-10

I agree with zoz, you should sonit anyways

1 AnnoysTheGoys 2019-07-10

sonit

weird

1 charming_tatum 2019-07-10

Awww that makes me miss ed

1 IHeartCommyMommy 2019-07-10

Trappysaruh, how can I get my bussy blasted by a sexy trap, at the club or otherwise? Janny tranny preferred but not necessary.

1 trappysaruh 2019-07-10

idk sorry. sex with others was assigned to me so i didnt have to look.

1 IHeartCommyMommy 2019-07-10

Who do I talk to to have you assigned to my bussy? 🤔

1 trappysaruh 2019-07-10

\😎

1 IHeartCommyMommy 2019-07-10

Wait does that mean you've been assigned my bussy? I've been thirstposting so long I feel like I'm gonna die from dehydration, gussy ain't good enough no more 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

1 trappysaruh 2019-07-10

would some bath water help ur thirst out?

1 IHeartCommyMommy 2019-07-10

Tbh, even if I hadn't seen your dick I'd know your trans because nobody raised female was ever taught how to be funny.

1 trappysaruh 2019-07-10

calling me funny in any way is a new level of thirst posting smh

1 IHeartCommyMommy 2019-07-10

BUSSY, BUSSY, BLAST IT NOW!

BLAST IT NOW YOU JANNY COW!

I DON'T WANT MILKY IN MY TUMMY,

I JUST WANT SARUHS CUMMIES!

BLAST MY BUSSY, BLAST IT QUICK!

BLAST IT WITH THAT TRAPPY DICK!

IF YOU REFUSE TO BLASY ME, TRAPPY,

I REFUSE TO TAKE A NAPPY!

1 trappysaruh 2019-07-10

lol

1 IHeartCommyMommy 2019-07-10

I thought that one would actually work 😭😭😭

1 TaysSecondGussy 2019-07-10

Yeah, this is pretty solid planning actually. Maybe offer some drinks, but demand to guess their favorite drink. Don’t buy it or disengage until you get it right, and get louder and closer as you guess them. Women often like very obscure gin or whiskey cocktails that were popular in the early 20th century, and your insistence on guessing correctly demonstrates decisiveness. You got this.

1 DrunkenRecidivist 2019-07-10

A couple drops of rohypnol will class up even the classiest of cocktails too.

1 SigmaTyrranax 2019-07-10

Please go back to serious posting. Your genuine beliefs hit so much harder than this shallow attempt at self parody.

1 MasterLawlz 2019-07-10

But most of my genuine beliefs are indistinguishable from self parody

1 trexmundi 2019-07-10

Objectively the best kind of beliefs.

1 Bummunism 2019-07-10

Our lie detectors determined that this was a lie.

1 elephantofdoom 2019-07-10

That is not as true as you would like it to be.

1 self_safety_advocate 2019-07-10

It’s like Poe’s Law, but for... whatever it is you are

1 wwaalleess 2019-07-10

... a turbo autist.

1 BernieMadeoffSanders 2019-07-10

turbo

1 rDramaCel 2019-07-10

I love you

1 questionablyrotten 2019-07-10

I’ve missed you

1 Ultrashitposter 2019-07-10

Order a drink while slipping in the roofie; this gives you a good excuse to lean over the bar and any drinks the girls might have.

1 trexmundi 2019-07-10

I'm going to bring up a critical issue, that I don't see addressed anywhere in your action plan. You state that you are going to do a dance based on the Naruto running style, but at no point do you mention putting on an appropriate ninja headband. Without doing so attempting to imitate a powerful and successful ninja like Naruto could result in serious injury. While I would never presume that any mod of drama goes anywhere without their anime accessories, in the unlikely event that yours has been damaged or misplaced, Amazon has a wide selection and with Prime, it will likely arrive at the same time your jacket does

1 zergling_Lester 2019-07-10

Also Lawlz needs some classy socks to go with his sandals, at socksoff.com he can find a fine selection at affordable prices!

1 Woolgun 2019-07-10

Ah, smart advice, going for an "exotic Czech tourist" strategy might just work. Hopefully he won't go full Czech tourist and die hiking or climbing a mountain.

1 [deleted] 2019-07-10

[removed]

1 femroot 2019-07-10

I like the jacket, it's a little out there but it's different than the typical black leather jacket. Tight isn't the worst thing with a leather jacket.

had to search the running man dance and it really depends what club you're going to. I'm not sure if the woman would necessarily appreciate an aerodynamic sonic the hedgehog move. It may look a bit out of place.

About the introduction, I doubt the average woman really cares about reddit stats or would really be impressed unless she's a mod herself. I'm aware this post probably isn't serious but if you do try good luck.

1 MrGoodieMob 2019-07-10

Get a bunch of cocaine lawlz

1 MinerHornet 2019-07-10

This. White girls LOVE cocaine.

1 Oh_hamburgers_ 2019-07-10

Make sure you wink a lot while talking to them. Bow your head after you tell a joke and always laugh at your own jokes (while bowing your head). Repeatedly remind them you have an average sized penis and go into great detail about how the average size is actually much smaller than the ones you see in porn. Wear axe body spray AND old spice cologne.

Above all, be yourself.

1 Quietus42 2019-07-10

Above all, be yourself.

You monster

1 PM_ME_UR_BITZ 2019-07-10

Lol sabotage

1 AnnoysTheGoys 2019-07-10

Above all, be yourself.

You're a very bad man

1 Platycel 2019-07-10

Above all, be yourself.

Do you want him to post here even more here or something?

1 collectijism 2019-07-10

It’s like you wrote down what your autistic brother does every morning eating Cheerios.

1 loldongzer 2019-07-10

Remember to thrust your pelvis forward and hold it while approaching foids to hint to them you are big “down there”

1 robthegayboy 2019-07-10

cosby the bitch. it's that ez g. when will mayos learn

1 pee_tape_not_piss 2019-07-10

I will emulate the far superior Naruto/Sonic the Hedgehog run

That's called skanking son. Dust off your Mustard Plug LPs and wear a checkered shirt.

1 mayocidal_maniac 2019-07-10

If you're having trouble meeting girls we could go half on a wig and take turns being each other's gf

1 MasterLawlz 2019-07-10

hot

1 PM_ME_UR_BITZ 2019-07-10

Can i like wack off in the closet or something no homo

1 ImJustaBagofHammers 2019-07-10

So, first off, the opening line. I was thinking "Hello, my name is [REDACTED]. I moderate multiple subreddits and have over 400k post and comment karma as well".

I think you should change this to specify r/Drama. Moderating several subreddits and having a large amount isn't impressive, and in fact could make you seem like a self-absorbed powermod. However, if you specify r/Drama, you will avoid this and communicate information about yourself.

1 MasterLawlz 2019-07-10

Excellent advice, I hadn't considered that.

1 lolcows63 2019-07-10

also he has 500K Karma which can be said as a cool half million

1 caliberoverreaching 2019-07-10

Just bee urself 🐝

1 HungryScaterpillar 2019-07-10

That jacket actually looks pretty nice

1 B1FelixOcean 2019-07-10

OwO, just wear a t shirt with the tuxedo print

1 MiltonFriedmanisbae1 2019-07-10

I could get you a girlfriend in a week.

The only thing I need from you is to know how fat you’re willing to go.

1 elephantofdoom 2019-07-10

1 rDramaCel 2019-07-10

Hey there. As a woman, what's up?

1 MasterLawlz 2019-07-10

r u hot

1 rDramaCel 2019-07-10

4 u

1 MasterLawlz 2019-07-10

nice

1 ClementineChime 2019-07-10

1 princess_y_fronts 2019-07-10

Don't change anything, you're doing great! What are you conversation talking points ?

1 Minimum_T-Giraff 2019-07-10

Dude get some heroin. And hit on heroin enthusiast and she will fall in love with you when you mention the heroin.

1 ChicagoBallgazeFan 2019-07-10

Lawlz, attend this man. Just start a side business selling heroin and heroin accessories. Ladies love an entrepreneurial, never say die spirit.

1 BruhMoment4213 2019-07-10

No matter what we do or say to help you, it won’t work. That jacket only hurts your case. The moment you say “moderate”, the women WILL click with you, because since you are a mod, you must be gay. Sorry bud

1 Chomsky_Minaj 2019-07-10

Just don’t be a bitch. Don’t appear like you have anxiety. Be funny/fun and try to be likable, don’t try to be different or cool.

1 Whaddaulookinat 2019-07-10

Seriously mate just join a volunteer position, or at least make your Friday prayers to ingratiate yourself with some used car dealer looking to get his passion in the ass daughter off his back and wallet.

Or I mean you could party with me as your wingman and you'll be swimming in big titted, tall, blonde bimbos that I'm sure you could convince to act like furniture.

But is that what you want?

1 seenten 2019-07-10

1 Seattle_Bussy_Lmao 2019-07-10

The meme answer is to go to your local Home Depot and get a bunch of keys made. Not so much that you look like a janitor, but enough to look like you have a “for fun” condo as well as a house full of cars.

The real answer is to buy a half ounce of cocaine.

1 JLDupreeIII 2019-07-10

I suggest you just be your honest genuine personal self but different

1 BurgerLaowai 2019-07-10

I’d say be yourself, but that’s a mistake.

1 MightiestPhallus 2019-07-10

You still didnt sign my profile :/

1 MasterLawlz 2019-07-10

I don’t know how to do that

1 MightiestPhallus 2019-07-10

There is a post on my profile where you can comment

1 JumbledFun 2019-07-10

I don't think you need any advice. Sounds like you're good to go

1 dootwthesickness_II 2019-07-10

Oh my god, I just wanted bagels.

1 AnnArchist 2019-07-10

I've slept with more women than were in my graduating class. I was home schooled. I can help you.

1 alldefector 2019-07-10

Again, speaking for myself, based on my interactions with Jewish people, most Jewish people are good people, with mature, ethical, and lawful behaviors. But allegedly, a minority of Jewish people are bad people, with immature, unethical or criminal behaviors. Same with all the other religions I interacted with ;) Francewhoa (talk) 23:43, 9 July 2019 (UTC)

1 AugustinesBitchBoy 2019-07-10

If you're like you are then don't go expecting to hook up with women. Go with friends to have fun. If you get drunk enough maybe something will happen but don't expect anything.

1 Rocketteman 2019-07-10

Intercourse could even get me to make her an approved submitter

What are you doing on Saturday?

1 MasterLawlz 2019-07-10

not much wbu

1 PM_ME_UR_BITZ 2019-07-10

Security will kick you out in like 10 seconds

1 DefectiveDelfin 2019-07-10

Try rohypnol

1 ArlenBilldozer 2019-07-10

That jacket you could actually rock with a nice T-shirt and jeans. However, you cannot mention it's from Ben 10 at all, or you're striking the fuck out like Chris Davis.

A Bonus is if MILFs recgonize the jacket and they may think you're clever; then you got a in. But let them mention that Ben 10 shit.

1 oooh_ooooh_oooooh 2019-07-10

fuck the alien force jacket, wear the classic ben 10 shirt + omnitrix toy like a chad

1 shitpersonality 2019-07-10

As practiced by Mystery, peacocking is the art of wearing a few garish, compelling items which draw attention.

Wear these out to the club. Thank me later.