What if they remade "The Fault In Our Stars" but cast a guy who looked like a realistic terminally ill cancer patient instead of a hot guy

368  2019-08-20 by MasterLawlz

The movie would have been a lot funnier if you replaced all the shots of Ansel Elgort with some horribly emaciated kid on a respirator that lost all his hair. I doubt Shailene Woodley would have had the same fairy tale romance with some guy that looked like a cross between Charlie Brown and Christian Bale's character in The Machinist and sounded like Darth Vader. I could imagine a scene where they're on a date in the park or whatever and she thinks he's about to say something romantic but then she leans in close and the only thing he can muster the strength to whisper is "kill me".

I remember when I saw the film a few years back, I thought that they should have expanded on the plotline of him having lost a limb by turning into a running gag where he accidentally loses his other limbs one-by-one over the rest of the film and all due to mishaps caused by the main girl. And he doesn't realize that maybe this relationship isn't the best thing for him until the end when he's nothing but a torso and dies anyway.

I still think my version would have been a better movie tbh.

66 comments

1  jaredschaffer27 2019-08-20

I got some new underwear (black boxer briefs) at Wal-Mart last week. I put them on yesterday morning and they felt a little weird, but I chalked up the unusual tightness to new underoos and went on about my day. But I got home last night, went to the gym and did some yardwork and was sweating fairly decently in the genital region.

I was laying in bed with my boyfriend and he put his hand "down there" (lol) and noticed that I had been wearing my underwear backwards all day! What a goof, huh?

Anyways I quickly slipped them off, turned them around and went back to cuddling with my bear. He put his head down there to give me the old rusty trombone and then uttered out loud "shit dude your ass smells like dick!"

1  wwaalleess 2019-08-20

Came to this

1  JakeArrietaGrande 2019-08-20

We’ve all been there

1  BriefSquirt 2019-08-20

What is this gay shit

1  HumanBread 2019-08-20

This sub has become a bunch of faggots trying to outdo themselves with meta "lul so randum" posts

1  LostMaterial0 2019-08-20

No u

1  forseti911 2019-08-20

has become

Socksoffposting has been a thing for years. This place is just that cringe.

1  jaredschaffer27 2019-08-20

What thread do you think we are in you fargot? A serious discussion about human rights in Hong Kong?

1  ComedicSans 2019-08-20

This sub has become

This sub was always like that, you nonce.

1  serialflamingo 2019-08-20

Ansel Elgort is not "a hot guy"

1  MasterLawlz 2019-08-20

for you

1  Rentokill_boy 2019-08-20

Baneposting is dead. Good wffortr tho

1  Ill_Regal 2019-08-20

The rise of sneed is upon us

1  Rentokill_boy 2019-08-20

I'm sorry, I am wastwd

1  Evil_Patriarch 2019-08-20

Have we started the fire?

1  jayawaya2 2019-08-20

Somebody get this hothead out of here

1  kratoswithcappuccino 2019-08-20

Has he posted bussy yet?

1  serialflamingo 2019-08-20

Dunno

1  Matues49 2019-08-20

He legit looks like a strung-out troon

1  Myopic_may0 2019-08-20

He is for his target audience of preteens

1  j_f44541 2019-08-20

Speak for yourself 😋

1  OxidizeAtlantic 2019-08-20

Cancer affects you differently if you're attractive

what you're describing would only affect people like you haha

1  BoxxyFoxxy 2019-08-20

Who the fuck thinks that guy is attractive 😂

1  MikeStoklasaBackup 2019-08-20

attractive people on /r/drama

Yikes

1  Mrtheliger 2019-08-20

Sensei, this movie is not worth your time. There isn't too much redeemable about it, especially the acting

1  NotoriousChenposter 2019-08-20

Aren't you the guy I keep dabbing on with my Patrician movie facts.

1  Mrtheliger 2019-08-20

Who are you?

1  Redactor0 2019-08-20

I have a movie fact for you: If you haven't seen Heat, you're not a patrician.

1  NotoriousChenposter 2019-08-20

Typical Reddit pleb, always brings up Heat.

Why don't you take your HRT pills, go watch Black Hat and keep yourself safe.

1  MrGoodieMob 2019-08-20

You have shit taste in TV and movies bro

1  MasterLawlz 2019-08-20

nah fam this movie sucked but I think a more morbid take on the story would have been entertaining

1  MrGoodieMob 2019-08-20

Baby Driver was awesome tho dont blame Ansel

1  j_f44541 2019-08-20

He’s sexy as hell!!! Haters can fuck off

1  j_f44541 2019-08-20

This movie does NOT suck!!!!!!!

1  MasterLawlz 2019-08-20

cope

1  j_f44541 2019-08-20

It’s amazing

1  RBLXTalk 2019-08-20

then they'd have to try to get in contact with you

1  ImJustaBagofHammers 2019-08-20

I actually like your stickies. They break up the monotony whenever it exists.

1  cock-wizard 2019-08-20

if you put a finger in an asshole and you put another one in the vagina, you can feel your fingers through the wall

1  MotorButterscotch 2019-08-20

Why not every movie

1  sackblabbathrowaway 2019-08-20

What if you stopped posting this brainlet dribble? Huh?

1  MasterLawlz 2019-08-20

then /r/drama would die

which I'm sure would be a good thing but I still won't let it happen

1  VicisSubsisto 2019-08-20

Boring

1  Rentokill_boy 2019-08-20

Hello.llawz how's it going

I hope you're all ight

1  MasterLawlz 2019-08-20

yeah I'm good wbu

1  Rentokill_boy 2019-08-20

DRUNK

1  yo_aloha_hola_oy 2019-08-20

wubboo

1  shitpersonality 2019-08-20

This sub feels unsafe when there isn't a lawlz sticky up. Thanks, I really needed this today.

1  Green_and_Lean 2019-08-20

Then, much like your stickies, it’d be boring and sad to watch

1  [deleted] 2019-08-20

[removed]

1  B1FelixOcean 2019-08-20

sorry lawlz but that guy was not hot. If anything he was cute, kinda makes me want to top him UwU

1  saint2e 2019-08-20

Movie would be over in 5 minutes since he'd be creepy instead of endearing.

1  Ghdust2 2019-08-20

I bet you used to post on the IMDB message boards back in the day

1  MyRushmoreMax08 2019-08-20

If they did that then it would be over for cancercels

1  CapeshitterCOPE 2019-08-20

Agreed tbh. Rom drams are shit

1  amanrobbedofhisdrama 2019-08-20

But the girl was the sick one. I haven’t even seen the movie and I know that

1  MasterLawlz 2019-08-20

But the dude died of cancer at the end right

1  penny_for_yo_thot 2019-08-20

Yeah, terminally ill cancer ain't pretty to watch. I remember my mom in her final weeks of sinus/brain cancer looked nothing like herself, more like a skeleton than anything. It was horrible. Cancer is fucking ugly on all levels. My dad still spoon fed her every day tho, even when she fought him and didn't know who he was any more. He still kissed her goodnight and told her her favorite jokes.

That's how I know I witnessed true love y'all.

It fucking sucked, but there it is.

1  TothB 2019-08-20

For literally 3 years straight I've genuinely thought MasterLawlz was an annoying unfunny loser but this one post has single handedly changed my mind.

1  MasterLawlz 2019-08-20

I’m glad I could enlighten you

1  MachoMaamSandyRavage 2019-08-20

His name is Trevor Reznik, you poser. They did that a gender bender version of thst movie already in Fight Club. It was funnysad because it was obvious some of the therapy guys would end up fucking her on the dl.

1  k-seph_from_deficit 2019-08-20

I recommend San Hyde to play realistic terminally ill cancer patient.

It’s time our boy won an oscar.

1  Throwmeawayhard7 2019-08-20

I recommend Sam Hyde to play realistic terminally ill cancer patient.

It’s time our boy won an oscar.

1  ComedicSans 2019-08-20

I hope he's into method acting.

1  [deleted] 2019-08-20

[removed]

1  razzmataz 2019-08-20

I thought that they should have expanded on the plotline of him having lost a limb by turning into a running gag where he accidentally loses his other limbs one-by-one over the rest of the film and all due to mishaps caused by the main girl

It's just a fleshwound!