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Basically, I want to endorse Alec as a mod here, because he agrees that keeping yourself safe is top priority and these nazi mods and admins are not endorsing it right.
> He’d look at a plan and say “that looks too difficult” or “whatever” and I’d redesign it again. My amateur game design notebook scribbles from back then are very funny to look at now. But his absence meant I had to step up. And as I did, so did Bethany. My panic attacks got worse. I had always thought that panic attacks were just feeling overwhelmed, but it turns out they’re physical things that happen even if you don’t “believe” them. They aren’t just getting freaked out. They’re pain in your chest, freezing cold, your brain yelling at you that you’re in danger.... It nearly killed me
lol
> I had a hard time saying the word “abuse” then. Still do, a bit. I’ll talk about my hatred of capitalism or the faith I grew up with, but I don’t talk much about things done to me by someone specific. Part of that is just dumbass masculinity- I can’t be abused, abuse is something that happens to other people. When it happens to me it’s just tough luck or life not being fair, so I should just toughen up. Or maybe it’s because everyone else thinks whatever is happening is fine, and I’m just being oversensitive. Weak. Early in life I’d been regularly reminded that I was oversensitive. When my dad taught me how to throw a punch in 4th grade I had reason to use it the next day. I was bullied in school to the point of broken bones.
IF ONLY DADDY TAUGHT ME HOW TO STAND UP TO HIPSTERS SAYING MY GAME IDEAS ARE DUMB
Yeah every bit of "abuse" I hear about this guy, just seems like someone who wanted to create a quality product based on his vision, and he shut down all his coworkers dumb ideas.
The Zoe one is most likely her wanting rough sex, and then 7 years later deciding she didn't want it. I'm sure their relationships was shit, it seems all her relationships end up being shit.
I think everyone has experienced a panic attack at some point in their life, some people have them more frequently and it’s a problem.
I think it’s the idea that it makes you special that bothers people in this case, also with the questionable character of the person involved it’s hard to believe anything they say.
This is what the modern game dev looks like. Most of them don’t even do the coding, they’re glorified graphic designers in an oversaturated market. We consistently wonder why ever year more “artsy” trash comes to top the indie shit heap, why triple A games become less offensive, a lukewarm purée of colorful graphics and smooth brain gameplay. The answer is right here, a fucking jannie with zero shame. Tom Francis is truly the last hope for g*mers, may he be the harbinger of a new age of video games.
So it seems as though in 2015, he was seriously contemplating suicide, hence him stopping work on the game and kind of falling out communication with people, while often bringing up the topic with people.
Towards the end of the year, after being called out by that account on Twitter, he started therapy, and started improving.
He was obsessed with this idea that people in his industry/circle of friends actually wanted him to commit suicide, possibly even suggesting Zoe as one of them.
The guy burnt all his bridges, as massively self-destructive depressed people are prone to doing.
He ended up turning his paranoia into reality, to the point that his ex-friends and colleagues were relieved when he finally actually did it.
One impression I get, is that a lot of people in this industry have personality disorders or depression, so it's understandable that groups of such people might become toxic to each other and exasperate their issues.
Seems like he was considered a bit of a cash cow, who could help people fund/publicise games they wanted to make, so people wanted to use him for that, and he was more than happy to have that power over people, probably getting favours and benefits at the same time.
From everything I've seen, I don't get the impression that this guy was a rapist, just a troubled depressed mess on the brink of suicide, who made everyone around him miserable as a result - or, from their perspective; emotional abuse.
That post shows that the guy was fucked up in a very bad way, so I don't know what could have been done about it.
It shows a really bad pattern where a person blames other people for his own mental state, in an escalating fashion. As in, you don't like me, this makes me sad, but you don't care about that so that means that you really don't like me, and this makes me very sad, but you don't care which means that you hate me, and this makes me suicidal, and you still don't care, which means that you're a monster who actively wants me dead.
Another example of such diseased thinking that comes to mind is the infamous GovernmentGetsGirlfriends guy who was an incel before it became fashionable and used it to argue among other things that his mother tried to kill him by refusing to have sex with him.
So what I'm getting at is that of course a person is not responsible for having a mental illness, but certain mental illnesses turn people into unbelievable abusive assholes, so there's that. OTOH he was at least actively seeking therapy and it might even have been working for him, so doing a public callout on twitter apropos of nothing was almost criminally irresponsible and abusive in its own right.
Indeed, he dug himself into a hole which he wasn't really able to get out of.
Anything could have pushed him over the edge.
At least he did seem aware of that, and knew it was a cognitive distortion.
It seems some sleuths over at KIA (it was hard to find discussion on the topic anywhere else) have turned up these screenshots, which are possibly referring to Alec as it was about after she moved to Canada to live with him:
I'm not saying the guy wasn't crazy, but when these people are coming out and celebrating his suicide openly within days of it happening, it's pretty clear he was right that they wanted him dead. People in the game developer/"journalist" scene won't tell someone to kys directly, but once you get to know them you realize there's a constant extreme level of rage under the surface. If you make them feel uncomfortable in any way, they absolutely will decide that you should die.
He's on Twitter again too. His story kinda makes sense to me but feels weird to come out and trash the guy when he is less than three days dead and not even buried.
Especially since by his own admission and by Zoe's as well the dude put in years of therapy to get better and was doing well. Ah well, when a foid decides it's time to cancel you that's just the way it goes.
The real soypill is forgiving anyone for any kind of abuse tbh. Like if some guy keeps you in his house and rapes you for half a month you ain't rest until that guy is in prison or dead.
Somehow these fucking faggots have created some bizarre narrative where it's a virtue to "forgive" actual horrific things that deserve zero forgiveness. And then they use that to allege abuse and then say "oh well I forgave him aren't I such a good person?" Like no fam if any of that story is true you a weak-ass bitch for rolling over about it. smdh pussies
She didn't claim he raped her. Even the fingerbang thing, she never said that she told him to stop. Basically he was a mentally ill meany and she was a mentally ill doormat (according to herself, but given her history I doubt it's that cut and dry).
Nah what she described as she described it p. clearly constitutes rape. She said she told him it hurt and as punishment he dragged her around the apartment by the pussy.
What actually happened is literally anyone's guess because Zoe Quinn, but the allegation is rape.
The thing that strikes me about all these allegations lately is how soft and fluffy they are. There was that guy yesterday who got metoo'd for taking pictures of his girlfriend during sex, this guy is basically just crying because he didn't like working with someone, and there are countless other similar allegations against people.
Another thing I've noticed is that a rising number of these allegations seem to suggest that their mental health issues are caused more by these people overworking themselves to unhealthy levels.
People new to the industry who write about constantly pulling all-nighters to get work done, with rising stress levels, ending up with an emotional breakdown, followed by laying all the blame on the outcome on somebody else.
We've all had colleagues we hated working with, or fell out with close friends which turned bitter, had exes which didn't treat us well, bosses which took advantage of us, etc.
There is no way that this was actually caused by overwork. I don't believe for a second that this fat mayo "communist" got PTSD because his bad boss make him draw too many pictures. You get PTSD when your bad boss tells you to assault Hamburger Hill and it takes you 10 days to get to the napalm-scorched summit.
Except people who work on Wall Street or do management consulting or young doctors work similarly insane unhealthy hours but they don’t engage in this insane faggy drama that you see with software developers and their do-nothing SocJus parasite orbiters.
It’s a weird intersection between the cultish SJW worldview, work stress, and actual mental illness.
Some guy in my country got accused by his (girl) best friend because they had a fight, then he committed suicide. She slipped his name in a march where they were announcing abusers while he was participating in it.
64 comments
1 BussyShillBot 2019-09-03
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1 SnapshillBot 2019-09-03
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1 Neon_needles 2019-09-03
Our Survivor
His game subreddit where mods (Him) "yall' can't behave."
Basically, I want to endorse Alec as a mod here, because he agrees that keeping yourself safe is top priority and these nazi mods and admins are not endorsing it right.
1 15778047 2019-09-03
How fragile are g*mers that some white Male Feminist keeping himself safe causes mental breakdowns and trauma?
1 Neon_needles 2019-09-03
> He’d look at a plan and say “that looks too difficult” or “whatever” and I’d redesign it again. My amateur game design notebook scribbles from back then are very funny to look at now. But his absence meant I had to step up. And as I did, so did Bethany. My panic attacks got worse. I had always thought that panic attacks were just feeling overwhelmed, but it turns out they’re physical things that happen even if you don’t “believe” them. They aren’t just getting freaked out. They’re pain in your chest, freezing cold, your brain yelling at you that you’re in danger.... It nearly killed me
lol
> I had a hard time saying the word “abuse” then. Still do, a bit. I’ll talk about my hatred of capitalism or the faith I grew up with, but I don’t talk much about things done to me by someone specific. Part of that is just dumbass masculinity- I can’t be abused, abuse is something that happens to other people. When it happens to me it’s just tough luck or life not being fair, so I should just toughen up. Or maybe it’s because everyone else thinks whatever is happening is fine, and I’m just being oversensitive. Weak. Early in life I’d been regularly reminded that I was oversensitive. When my dad taught me how to throw a punch in 4th grade I had reason to use it the next day. I was bullied in school to the point of broken bones.
IF ONLY DADDY TAUGHT ME HOW TO STAND UP TO HIPSTERS SAYING MY GAME IDEAS ARE DUMB
1 TheFerrret 2019-09-03
This dude truly is the scum of the earth. He's glad his coworker killed himself because he wasn't a yes man to his ideas. And that makes him a victim.
1 tyuijvhvhcfcjf 2019-09-03
'K it's a dragon husbandry stimulator, BUT it's based in science.'
'Ye that's dumb as shit no'
/#WeSurvived
1 totally_not_ac3 2019-09-03
Yeah every bit of "abuse" I hear about this guy, just seems like someone who wanted to create a quality product based on his vision, and he shut down all his coworkers dumb ideas.
1 dramasexual 2019-09-03
The Zoe one alleged actual abuse, at least.
1 Platycel 2019-09-03
Zoe also alleged to be a journalist, so I'd take her allegations with a grain of salt.
1 dramasexual 2019-09-03
Right she's almost certainly lying and all but at least what she said was an allegation of something real.
1 nybbas 2019-09-03
The Zoe one is most likely her wanting rough sex, and then 7 years later deciding she didn't want it. I'm sure their relationships was shit, it seems all her relationships end up being shit.
1 dramasexual 2019-09-03
I mean idk. On the one hand, Zoe Quinn, on the other, male feminists. Everyone involved is so awful it's hard to know what to believe.
1 nybbas 2019-09-03
That's why I believe they were all shitty.
1 VanillaReign 2019-09-03
I'm disappointed in that crazy bitch. I really wanted to see that dumpster fire of an idea come to fruition.
1 heretobefriends 2019-09-03
Broke: I'm glad you killed yourself because you weren't a yes man for my ideas.
Woke: I'm glad you killed yourself because now I face less competition for feeding and breeding territory.
1 diggity_md 2019-09-03
We all pay for subsidized education, roads, and food for people like this. That's not okay, America!
1 Green_and_Lean 2019-09-03
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are what really hurt me"
1 _SweetnessFollows 2019-09-03
lmao
1 the_incredible_corky 2019-09-03
So I take it you've never experienced a panic attack? They're very real and they suck.
1 BannedAccountNumber6 2019-09-03
I think everyone has experienced a panic attack at some point in their life, some people have them more frequently and it’s a problem.
I think it’s the idea that it makes you special that bothers people in this case, also with the questionable character of the person involved it’s hard to believe anything they say.
1 amanrobbedofhisdrama 2019-09-03
Lmao I love all the posts saying not to make this about politics after politics are what caused the guy to kill himself
1 susbribe 2019-09-03
He’s built like a fucking snowman
1 CommissarPayne 2019-09-03
This is what the modern game dev looks like. Most of them don’t even do the coding, they’re glorified graphic designers in an oversaturated market. We consistently wonder why ever year more “artsy” trash comes to top the indie shit heap, why triple A games become less offensive, a lukewarm purée of colorful graphics and smooth brain gameplay. The answer is right here, a fucking jannie with zero shame. Tom Francis is truly the last hope for g*mers, may he be the harbinger of a new age of video games.
1 15778047 2019-09-03
https://i.imgur.com/tPkrejk.jpg
1 CapeshitterCOPE 2019-09-03
Fat gay communist. White one, Tristan Cooper? They’re all fat
1 diggity_md 2019-09-03
he is fat
1 _-Drama_Llama-_ 2019-09-03
Interesting.
Apparently he posted this (Long read) on his Facebook.
So it seems as though in 2015, he was seriously contemplating suicide, hence him stopping work on the game and kind of falling out communication with people, while often bringing up the topic with people.
Towards the end of the year, after being called out by that account on Twitter, he started therapy, and started improving.
He was obsessed with this idea that people in his industry/circle of friends actually wanted him to commit suicide, possibly even suggesting Zoe as one of them.
The guy burnt all his bridges, as massively self-destructive depressed people are prone to doing.
He ended up turning his paranoia into reality, to the point that his ex-friends and colleagues were relieved when he finally actually did it.
One impression I get, is that a lot of people in this industry have personality disorders or depression, so it's understandable that groups of such people might become toxic to each other and exasperate their issues.
Seems like he was considered a bit of a cash cow, who could help people fund/publicise games they wanted to make, so people wanted to use him for that, and he was more than happy to have that power over people, probably getting favours and benefits at the same time.
From everything I've seen, I don't get the impression that this guy was a rapist, just a troubled depressed mess on the brink of suicide, who made everyone around him miserable as a result - or, from their perspective; emotional abuse.
Apologies for the serious long post.
1 LongPostBot 2019-09-03
Ma'am we've been over this before. You need to stop.
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 15778047 2019-09-03
You tell 'em, LPB
1 zergling_Lester 2019-09-03
That post shows that the guy was fucked up in a very bad way, so I don't know what could have been done about it.
It shows a really bad pattern where a person blames other people for his own mental state, in an escalating fashion. As in, you don't like me, this makes me sad, but you don't care about that so that means that you really don't like me, and this makes me very sad, but you don't care which means that you hate me, and this makes me suicidal, and you still don't care, which means that you're a monster who actively wants me dead.
Another example of such diseased thinking that comes to mind is the infamous GovernmentGetsGirlfriends guy who was an incel before it became fashionable and used it to argue among other things that his mother tried to kill him by refusing to have sex with him.
So what I'm getting at is that of course a person is not responsible for having a mental illness, but certain mental illnesses turn people into unbelievable abusive assholes, so there's that. OTOH he was at least actively seeking therapy and it might even have been working for him, so doing a public callout on twitter apropos of nothing was almost criminally irresponsible and abusive in its own right.
1 _-Drama_Llama-_ 2019-09-03
Indeed, he dug himself into a hole which he wasn't really able to get out of.
Anything could have pushed him over the edge.
At least he did seem aware of that, and knew it was a cognitive distortion.
It seems some sleuths over at KIA (it was hard to find discussion on the topic anywhere else) have turned up these screenshots, which are possibly referring to Alec as it was about after she moved to Canada to live with him:
She was upset the indie game dev scene she moved to Canada to be a part of, turned out to have a lot of politics, with Alec being the one in power
Something about the event which kicked it all off, not much useful information
This very well not could be about him at all, but it all adds up.
The call out stuff might have been politics more than anything else, if those logs are anything to go by.
1 Redactor0 2019-09-03
I'm not saying the guy wasn't crazy, but when these people are coming out and celebrating his suicide openly within days of it happening, it's pretty clear he was right that they wanted him dead. People in the game developer/"journalist" scene won't tell someone to kys directly, but once you get to know them you realize there's a constant extreme level of rage under the surface. If you make them feel uncomfortable in any way, they absolutely will decide that you should die.
1 ThirdCantKno 2019-09-03
He's on Twitter again too. His story kinda makes sense to me but feels weird to come out and trash the guy when he is less than three days dead and not even buried.
1 Pinksister 2019-09-03
Especially since by his own admission and by Zoe's as well the dude put in years of therapy to get better and was doing well. Ah well, when a foid decides it's time to cancel you that's just the way it goes.
1 dramasexual 2019-09-03
The real soypill is forgiving anyone for any kind of abuse tbh. Like if some guy keeps you in his house and rapes you for half a month you ain't rest until that guy is in prison or dead.
Somehow these fucking faggots have created some bizarre narrative where it's a virtue to "forgive" actual horrific things that deserve zero forgiveness. And then they use that to allege abuse and then say "oh well I forgave him aren't I such a good person?" Like no fam if any of that story is true you a weak-ass bitch for rolling over about it. smdh pussies
1 Pinksister 2019-09-03
She didn't claim he raped her. Even the fingerbang thing, she never said that she told him to stop. Basically he was a mentally ill meany and she was a mentally ill doormat (according to herself, but given her history I doubt it's that cut and dry).
1 dramasexual 2019-09-03
Nah what she described as she described it p. clearly constitutes rape. She said she told him it hurt and as punishment he dragged her around the apartment by the pussy.
What actually happened is literally anyone's guess because Zoe Quinn, but the allegation is rape.
1 Theramasaali 2019-09-03
Not even once
1 TheFerrret 2019-09-03
What the fuck is this autistic "In angry he's gone In angry at what he's done to people" autism.
1 Inceltiers 2019-09-03
Leftoid gamer White people drama is so fucking pathetic
1 CCAlkie 2019-09-03
Isn't it insane how many Good people there are in the gaming industry until it turns out they never were after all?
Also from their subreddit link:
Based as fuck.
1 trexmundi 2019-09-03
It should be illegal to post under your real name online.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2019-09-03
Thats exactly why the internet worked flawlessly prior to like 2008
1 trexmundi 2019-09-03
For certain standards of flawlessly.
1 zergling_Lester 2019-09-03
Oldschool bloggers oftentimes used their real names before Livejournal was a thing though.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2019-09-03
And those people should have had unsolicited pizza parties as a warning of their stupidity.
1 elephantofdoom 2019-09-03
Is Medium officially just a version of Twitter where everyone is a checkmark and there is no character limit?
1 DepravedMutant 2019-09-03
That's hell
1 Rocketteman 2019-09-03
It gets worse, they replaced likes with literal 👏
1 Platycel 2019-09-03
Launch the nukes.
1 Redactor0 2019-09-03
l'enfers, c'est les Medium posters
1 Rocketteman 2019-09-03
The thing that strikes me about all these allegations lately is how soft and fluffy they are. There was that guy yesterday who got metoo'd for taking pictures of his girlfriend during sex, this guy is basically just crying because he didn't like working with someone, and there are countless other similar allegations against people.
1 _-Drama_Llama-_ 2019-09-03
Another thing I've noticed is that a rising number of these allegations seem to suggest that their mental health issues are caused more by these people overworking themselves to unhealthy levels.
People new to the industry who write about constantly pulling all-nighters to get work done, with rising stress levels, ending up with an emotional breakdown, followed by laying all the blame on the outcome on somebody else.
We've all had colleagues we hated working with, or fell out with close friends which turned bitter, had exes which didn't treat us well, bosses which took advantage of us, etc.
That's life.
1 Redactor0 2019-09-03
There is no way that this was actually caused by overwork. I don't believe for a second that this fat mayo "communist" got PTSD because his bad boss make him draw too many pictures. You get PTSD when your bad boss tells you to assault Hamburger Hill and it takes you 10 days to get to the napalm-scorched summit.
1 wow___justwow 2019-09-03
Knock off the hippie shit, strap on a helmet, and start shooting. This is Malibu Emily, I want you to storm that beach like it's fucking Normandy.
1 DeliciousPaste 2019-09-03
Except people who work on Wall Street or do management consulting or young doctors work similarly insane unhealthy hours but they don’t engage in this insane faggy drama that you see with software developers and their do-nothing SocJus parasite orbiters.
It’s a weird intersection between the cultish SJW worldview, work stress, and actual mental illness.
1 [deleted] 2019-09-03
[removed]
1 DepravedMutant 2019-09-03
Waaaah! The guy who have me a career didn't pat me on the back every five seconds so I'm glad he's fucking dead!
1 Uncle_1488 2019-09-03
Wait, what? Zoey now has a fucking bodycount? HOLY SHIT I really missed the news.
1 GAMERFORDRUMPF 2019-09-03
Seriously? Gamergate season 2 started with a dramatic death
1 Dungold 2019-09-03
Some guy in my country got accused by his (girl) best friend because they had a fight, then he committed suicide. She slipped his name in a march where they were announcing abusers while he was participating in it.
1 GAMERFORDRUMPF 2019-09-03
Reminder that this guy made THIS male-feminist crap.
1 ychaoy 2019-09-03
how many holowka survivors are there?