r/drama: They should make a sequel to "It" where Derry gets its first McDonald's and Pennywise realizes his deadly tricks are nothing compared to the widespread childhood diabetes Ronald McDonald is dishing out on a global scale

They should make a sequel to "It" where Derry gets its first McDonald's and Pennywise realizes his deadly tricks are nothing compared to the widespread childhood diabetes Ronald McDonald is dishing out on a global scale

174 2019-09-10 by MasterLawlz

Like he gets all insecure because he has to live in sewers and shit meanwhile Ronald McDonald gets to be a public figure that slowly kills children in plain site with zero repercussions while also generating billions of dollars in revenue every year. Imagine how emasculated he would feel after realizing the most damage he ever did amounted to a few missing kid posters in bumfuck nowhere whereas McD's runs nearly 40,000 locations in every country nonstop and has shoved burgers down the gullets of kids in every one of them.

I could imagine a scene where he thinks he's hot shit for pretending to be statues and paintings and mind-controlling adults but then one day sees some fat kid filling his face with fries and is like "Hold on, you actually begged your parents to buy this because of a commercial? Fuck, this is like 1000 calories. And they call it a 'happy meal'?" Shapeshifting ain't shit compared to a multi-million dollar marketing budget and lobbyists making sure your shit stays on the airwaves.

I hope Stephen King reaches out to me for a collaboration on his next novel because I think I could be of great service.

56 comments

1 NMJ87 2019-09-10

Obesity is so mid 2000s.

Pennywise should sell fent, oxy and meth.

1 CMDR-FusionCor3 2019-09-10

that's on the way out too

extra-high dose SSRI brainfrying is the hip new trend with the kids

1 [deleted] 2019-09-10

[removed]

1 Mayos_side 2019-09-10

You kids wanna buy penis enlargement pills?

1 C0nmann 2019-09-10

1000 calories This is Europoor levels, we eat 2000cal meals here

1 NMJ87 2019-09-10

2000? Still rookie numbers.

I have often gone well over the 5000 mark when I was swinging a sledgehammer for a living.

1 General_Insomnia 2019-09-10

You just want to see some clussy, don't you?

1 NullIsFuckedLuL 2019-09-10

The fuck is a Clussy?

1 Jeb4Pres2020 2019-09-10

It's obviously means clown pussy. Retard.

1 NullIsFuckedLuL 2019-09-10

Least I'm not as retarded as you

1 Jeb4Pres2020 2019-09-10

That remains to be seen.

1 NullIsFuckedLuL 2019-09-10

Touchè

1 BasicallyADoctor 2019-09-10

This is literally a boomer cartoon premise

1 Plexipus 2019-09-10

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: MasterLawlz has done it again! 😂😂😂

1 DeweaponizedAutism 2019-09-10

This but unironically

1 Platycel 2019-09-10

Which one?

1 BasicallyADoctor 2019-09-10

this

1 KaaraRaven 2019-09-10

🤡🤡🤡

1 hyledog 2019-09-10

great idea lawlz you can be the main character

1 MasterLawlz 2019-09-10

thanks I've been wanting to get into acting

1 YesBadger 2019-09-10

Yeah and then they could have a follow up, where to kill Ronald McDonald, one 12 year old girl has to have a gang bang with 5 of her 12 year old friends, said gangbang will of course have to be described in great detail, obviously this will lead the bad clown dying because it's totally logical. pedo gangbang = happy ending.

Oh no I forgot that Stephen King already done that in the first book but I don't remember seeing that in the cinema? If anyone's thinking for one second that Stephen King is a maniac pedo psycho and just totally just gets away with it, I'll have you know that he voted for Hillary, so he cool, he stable.

1 ImJustaBagofHammers 2019-09-10

Incepit cum machina aliena egerit quid egerit

Et inhaereret se carpo ferentis secreta quae celebat

Iam is habet incredibiles potentias, est non ordinarius liber

Ergo si eum vides deprehendaris

Transfigurabit alienum prae tuis oculis

Est limosus et horribilis et celer et fortis, est omnis figura et modus

Armatus potentiis laborantis de causa

Pugnantis malum a terra vel spatio

Is desistet numquam dum eos puniverit

Quod est pessimus liber qui diem umquam servavit

1 BriefSquirt 2019-09-10

Cogito ergo sum

1 QuadNarca 2019-09-10

This post is pure COPE. McDonald's isn't the reason for your obesity, but your laziness.

1 MasterLawlz 2019-09-10

true

1 Brumaired 2019-09-10

Unironically laughed at this. What the hell. Stop. You're not supposed to be funny.

1 McGovernEagleton 2019-09-10

this is worse than usual lawlz

1 MasterLawlz 2019-09-10

thanks don't forget to tip your waitress

1 Corporal-Hicks 2019-09-10

They should do a sequel to it with only 2 hours of the ending orgy

1 JustLions 2019-09-10

in plain site

😐

1 MasterLawlz 2019-09-10

shit sorry I wrote this really late

1 Platycel 2019-09-10

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1 elephantofdoom 2019-09-10

I like you platy so I'll let this one slide but your using an outdated copypaste, your missing this one: https://i.imgur.com/Rp0FY8S.png

1 [deleted] 2019-09-10

[removed]

1 [deleted] 2019-09-10

[removed]

1 Ill_Regal 2019-09-10

My shitpost about Steven universe got more attention than this suit rehash of a decade old joke. I’m going to challenge you to a fucking duel, lawlz. Retard take all

1 somestupidname1 2019-09-10

So I'm at dinner with my gf and her family/friends (idfk I barely know them) and they're speaking their native language and she's just sitting there not talking to me like ok why am I here. Anyways so I'm in the bathroom shitting my brains out now bc I got the curry chicken and it's a lot spicier than I expected. Scrolling through drama and I see another retarded (redundant I know) Lawlz post, and I thought it was only fair I waste his time with this assuming he reads it because I've wasted more time than I'd like to admit reading his stickies. Gonna wipe my ass now and then probably think of an excuse to get home because I'm definitely not getting laid at this rate anyways.

1 MasterLawlz 2019-09-10

same

1 LemonScore_ 2019-09-10

Doesn't it feed off fear or something? Kids aren't afraid of eating burgers.

1 insertcomedy 2019-09-10

The incel pennywise vs the CHAD Ronald McDonald

1 Potential_Job 2019-09-10

This post get 0/10 just like IT 2

1 loli_esports 2019-09-10

i think u misunderstood 'it'

1 MasterLawlz 2019-09-10

Did I really though?

1 loli_esports 2019-09-10

its goal isnt to kill the most people

1 TomToonami93 2019-09-10

Pennywise is a higher being from the macroverse, and would not concern himself with money.

1 MasterLawlz 2019-09-10

That’s something a poor person living in a sewer would say.

1 TomToonami93 2019-09-10

Pennywise lives in a sewer.

1 --harshpangolin-- 2019-09-10

not funny didn't laugh

mastered and lawzpilled

zozzle

tldr

longpostbot

get a better bit

pick two

1 MasterLawlz 2019-09-10

this

1 DeathBahamutXXX 2019-09-10

I think Pennywise would be thrilled if Derry got a McDs. Remember he is eating those kids and with McDs they will be fatter, juicier and more tender since the obesity will limit the kids exercise.

1 [deleted] 2019-09-10

[removed]

1 15778047 2019-09-10

zoz

1 Chapose 2019-09-10

Keep yourself safe, lawlzie!

1 [deleted] 2019-09-10

[removed]

1 songthatendstheworld 2019-09-10

I will find you, forcibly suck you off, and then we will share a cummy kiss.

1 MasterLawlz 2019-09-10

wow