An unrelated question:

Is it legal to buy votes? Can Bloomberg say he will give $50 if you vote for him? I think that should be legal and Bloomberg should definitely do that.

That was Yang's entire campaign pitch....

No, Yang’s pitch was that the money would come after his won.

No but politicians in the Jackson era would give mobs of people free meat and booze to encourage them to vote the right way

I'm partial to cooping, where local party machines would literally kidnap people off the street and get them drunk, and keep changing their clothes so they could vote multiple times.

I'm gonna COOOOOOOOOP

Democracy used to be cool

Jackson threw a victory rager at the Whitehouse and was only able to get people out by moving the free food and booze out onto the lawn.

I'm confused, what does Edgar Allan Poe have to do with cooping? Is it how he died?

Yeah, idk why the article is written like that lol. Confused me too. I guess most of the writing about it has been in the context of his death? Weird.

But yeah, he was found dying and insane in Baltimore, in someone else's clothes lol.

Buying votes for political gain and selling your vote for your own personal gain is literally the most capitalist thing you can do of course it’s legal

I was talking with a lawyer friend of mine, it turns out this isn't legal in Turkey, at least not explicitly. We aren't as capitalist as the Greatest Country God Created 😔😔😔

selling your vote for your own personal gain

Isn't that like the whole point of voting in the first place?

He should sell bussy for votes

1. He's clearly buying influence on this sub. People are going about it "ironically", but there's all sorts of non organic activity.

2. This is literally a Rudy Guliani joke just repackaged.

His entire tenure as mayor was a Rudy Giuliani joke just repackaged.

His entire tenure as mayor was a Rudy Giuliani joke just repackaged in a smaller package.

12 grand is a lot of money: it makes a man feel prudent like; and then goodbye to happiness.

50 bucks is the only amount I would sell my vote for

In the Philippines they go door to door handing out leaflets with money taped to them. It'd probably get me a hell of a lot more interested in the race for Regional Water Quality Board Seat 3 if I got $15 out of the candidates bidding for my vote.

he could, but its cheaper to do it this way.

When asked by reporters if permanent housing had been provided for the city’s 50,000 homeless, Bloomberg assured them the new lodgings were quite permanent.

Fuck I love the onion

Bee > Onion

The Onion's gotten better recently. I think they got tired of sucking ass

Now if only they'd revive their YouTube channel

I gave it a go but it seemed to sacrifice humour for agendaposting more than I’d prefer. Seemed alright otherwise

You're talking about the onion, right?

Even a satirical newspaper knows chad mini Mike will solve even the most difficult issues

Alright it is time for me to launch my own presidential campaign, i will cut the homeless in half by the year 2024 that is a promise

My vp will be a literal dog just to get the white women vote

if its a pitbull it can personally help put the homeless solution in place

Michael Bloomberg has definitely replaced Ben Shapiro as /r/Drama's favorite manlet.

This is why hazing should be allowed. Jesus Christ on a cracker, only 8 years left til retirement.

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Your condescending, contradictory bullshit isn't attractive to anyone except your frothing, basement-dwelling, virgin army.

Snapshots:

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The onion is still a thing?

My first action as president will be to return some videotapes

It's not even satire!

I didn't know the onion started posting real news.

I thought the onion was supposed to be satire?

Galaxy brain comments you can find on every onion article

Must suck spending $100+ mill on YouTube ads just to realize no one cares for mini joo

People always love homeless people as an abstract idea in their mind but when you actually see and interact with homeless people you almost feel like most of the fuckin animals deserve their current living situation.