Which do you think was weirder, when Ted from How I Met Your Mother gave Barney detailed instructions on how to fuck Robin or when Jim from The Office interrogated Timothy Olyphant to find out why he wouldn't bang his wife?

1  2020-05-30 by MasterLawlz

I think both of these plotlines were weird as fuck. Ted was literally so much of a beta that he gave Barney a detailed PowerPoint presentation on how to date Robin and in doing so ended up falling in love with her again. It's even weirder when you consider that he ended up marrying her later on and told his kids all about this.

Then Jim and Pam on The Office kept harassing Timothy Olyphant to find out why he didn't want to date Pam years ago. They literally could not let it go. I actually felt pretty bad for Olyphant's character because he's one of the few in the show that actually seemed like a good person and he just got sexually harassed by crazy people nonstop. He even made a 4D chess move with Jim and Pam by saying that he didn't want to date her because she wouldn't shut up about Jim. That was the perfect answer that you'd think would have appeased everyone and diffused the situation but they still pushed it even further because they felt like he was lying. Eventually, he had to concede that he just didn't really vibe with her which you'd think any logical adult would have been able to deduce.

At this point in the show, Jim and Pam were already married and had a child. Imagine establishing a life with a man and then still obsessing over the hot sales guy that you went out with twice like five years ago. I feel like that plotline was weird even by The Office standards. If a woman acted like that irl I would assume that she still wanted to sleep with the other guy without a doubt.

41 comments

Sorry I didn't actually pay attention to those shows, they just made decent background noise while I plowed your mom.

haha relatable

Has anyone told you that you watch too much TV?

yes

Why didn't you listen to them?

you think just because they're trained psychologists with years of experience that I should listen to what they have to say?

what about the show "mom", i think that would work pretty good too

isnt your mom Lawlz's girlfriend now?

zoz

zle

zozzle

Yes but I was hoping nobody would remember.

we can always fuck each other's moms like that one Lonely Island video with Susan Sarandon

Think about it moids: why should ANY foid worth her salt choose a pathetic weak m*Le over a strong GVLDEN RETRIEVER? The GVLDEN RETRIEVER doesn't worry about silly things like "red flags" and "children" and "boob size" and "weight"; They see a tight, wet opening, they stick their dick in it, it feels good so they keep on going. They pound into your girlfriend with such force she is moaning, begging for more doggy cock. She is damn near pissing herself, but the GVLDEN RETRIEVER doesn't stop. His knot swells. Your girlfriend, mind blanked by orgasmic bliss, is bound to the GOLDEN BVLL for up to an hour while his Chad knot shrinks down, and her vaginal muscles milk every drop of GVLDEN RETRIEVER spunk. She will never look at you the same way again. Sex doesn't feel the same. She is "tired" most nights, yet you can hear the whimpering and moans from the bathroom when she takes Sparky in the bathroom to "take a shit with company". She tells you to go in the other room and "jerk it or something". You are ashamed. You are weak. You are crushed. But she will never love you again. Sparky plays with his chew toy.

Her stomach is swelling. That is strange, you think, as you two haven't had sex in about 4 months and you had just gotten a vasectomy, per r/childfree advice. She tells you it's hormones, but you see the worry in her eyes, the fear lying behind her nonchalant expression. Fucking Sparky, looks up at you and almost smiles. The fucking MUTT, having the nerve to smile at you. In a time like this? Why are you so fucking angry at this dog? What did he do?

5 more months has passed. The "bump" on her stomach is huge now. You worry it may be a freak-case tumor or something of the like, but you now are pretty sure she cheated on you at some point. With who? When? But most importantly, why? Sparky looks at you again, but this time, his face is blank. He shits on the floor.

It is now obvious she's in labor. She decided against going to the hospital, for reasons you were unsure of. Probably read a Reddit post on tub births or something. In any case, she is in pain, and you are doing as much as you can to help her birth the baby, even though you just know it isn't yours. That's okay though. When you find out who the father is you will kill them. How could he do this to your girlfriend? Why did she let him? Where is he? What is his race? Is his cock bigger tha-

The baby is born. Or, rather, 6 babies are born? They are... furry. And yellow. And their ears are quite large. Holy shit. The fucking dog. Sparky. They look just like him! Except, they have human characteristics. They are grotesque to look at, you are sick to your stomach. You want to scream, to cry, to beg her to kill them, but she doesn't. She isn't doing much of anything actually. Just staring at them, with cold, dead eyes. She holds two up to her swollen breasts. They suckle, and whimper. They are alive. Sparky shits on the floor.

Snapshots:

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They're both weird, but as beta as Ted was, he was under the impression he'd 'moved on' I guess, whereas like you said Jim and Pam were still married. It's like they're trying to convince Olyphant to be their new bull.

I think Timothy Olyphant is a really underrated actor. Deadwood and Justified are both great shows and he did a really good job in each.

On a side note, considering the freakouts over the riots (including that sticky yesterday) it's oddly impressive that Lawlz is still his usual special self. What a special boy you are. Just keeps watching his cartoons.

Yea I was looking forward to expecting Lawlz thoughts on the riots. Thankfully tomorrow is a whole new day!

what do you think was weirder

when i read your post lmao

Don’t know what’s worse. This massive let down that is the end times or the very high probability you’ll outlive us all and continue posting throughout.

Ted one sounds weirder, Jim and Pam did something a couple of annoying people would do, slightly more realistic

Ted is the most unlikeable character I think I’ve ever seen on TV, so I’ll go with Schmosby.

Sorry I only watch the Sopranos

I thought the plotlines were fairly relatable and realistic but I guess we are from two different worlds

I honestly think it’s time for you to turn off the tv and go outside :/

no

Timothy Olyphant is just that good looking though.

In going to pretend you're talking about Barney the dinosaur.

Bruh 😳 exactly this. Don't remember it but I feel it on another level... Really weird stuff, in shows, you would not expect

but what does this have to do with George Foreman?

While everybody else is out rioting and looting tonight, I'm just here enjoying a nice juicy burger cooked on my George Foreman Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine. (that I looted from Target last night)

Suckers!

That unironically sounds pretty good.

You loot the lettuce and onion, I'll get some more burger

[deleted]

Lawlz stop being a basic bitch

No.

also, how dare you

BASIC BITCH

Why do people what that shit?

What's your definitive opinion about Space force

Make a sticky or something

barney and robin weren't on the big bang theory?

I just searched for Timothy Olyphant deepfakes and got nothing. What the fuck?

this post isnt about the riots, delete it.

no