I went to the doctor recently and found out I'm actually a little shorter than I thought

1  2020-12-23 by MasterLawlz

I always thought I was 5'7" but she measured me at 5'6.5" with shoes on

Fuck

Is it over for me or, as you guys always say, did it truly never even begin?

60 comments

1  ComedicSans 2020-12-23

If aggressively maintaining your own virginity was a competitive sport, Masterlawlz could be an Olympian.

1  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

“Aggressive virginity” is a cool band name

7  Woolgun 2020-12-23

Oh no! Now women might stare in disgust and reject your advances when you merely stand next to them, as opposed to doing that the second you start talking!

2  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

What about when I stand right behind them and breathe deeply

4  ason 2020-12-23

For the folks at home (read: braindead plebs), this is a masterfully subtle reference to the seminal coming of age cartoon Hey Arnold.

7  AlohaWarrior35 2020-12-23

LOL, manlet jannie.

4  Jeb4Pres2020 2020-12-23

Please stop posting.

3  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

Sure thing, when though?

5  Jeb4Pres2020 2020-12-23

If you can't do "years ago", the second best time will always be now.

3  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

Hmm, that doesn't really fit into my schedule, how about a few decades from now?

5  WholesomeDrama 2020-12-23

no, you need to still post in 40 yrs when youre a cute boomer

8  Jeb4Pres2020 2020-12-23

I fully believe that if this place still exists in 40 years, Lawlz will still be stickying rambling observational posts about the children's shows of the time.

5  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

Tbh you’re probably right lol

1  high_side 2020-12-23

IT'S CALLED UH-NEE-MAY AND IT'S A RESPECTED ART FORM!

4  DblCherry 2020-12-23

She was being generous. You’ve never gone by the 5’6 with shoes on. Fingers crossed you’re not in proportion.

4  alphetaboss 2020-12-23

You'll look like Shaq if you hook up with a midget. I'd go that route. Also midget vaginas are supposed to be shallower than normal ones, so you still have the chance to be a stud even with three inches.

1  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

I like the way you think.

I actually hooked up with a 6 foot tall girl one time, it was sorta challenging to get done

4  alphetaboss 2020-12-23

6 ft tall girls are my jam. Imagine how much her genes would improve yours. A 6 ft tall girl is like a 6'8 Chad but in girl form.

1  zhcyiDnein 2020-12-23

Damn when you put it like that it’s actually kinda based. Like if there was a girl version of bussy.

1  Constant_Waltz 2020-12-23

6 ft girls are called men

1  Funkyduffy 2020-12-23

was she aware you were hooking up? was she awake?

1  Maskedrussian 2020-12-23

Lawlz you can stop making things up now, it’s ok.

1  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

No!

4  muffler_kek 2020-12-23

Lawlz is a Pocket Prince

4  EarlCampbellsMeat 2020-12-23

It never began but it will last forever since you will have good longevity with that height.

Have you considered shoe lifts and a height adding hairstyle for the illusion?

4  imnothingtoo 2020-12-23

Would have dated you if you were 5'7" :/

3  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

Damn, that’s cold

2  JeanPeuplu 2020-12-23

Are you slimmer though?

4  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

yes

should I get leg extensions to lower my BMI even more?

4  JeanPeuplu 2020-12-23

Try a penis extension first

1  shitpersonality 2020-12-23

If anything, he'd get a reduction. His nickname in high school was Ben 10 Inches.

1  JeanPeuplu 2020-12-23

What a stud.

1  high_side 2020-12-23

This is misinformation.

3  seenten 2020-12-23

looks up leg extension surgery

What the fuck? Modern medicine might be going too far.

1  Funkyduffy 2020-12-23

the desperation of the indian tech worker knows no bounds

1  DeanofPSU 2020-12-23

Don't worry bud, with those modbux we'll have you man sized in no time.

1  BroboxylicAcid 2020-12-23

The loss of surface area will make it easier to shave.

1  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

This is actually starting to turn me on

2  BroboxylicAcid 2020-12-23

Good.

1  TanksAreLit 2020-12-23

You should probably just transition now

1  OfficialBeetroot 2020-12-23

This is the end of lawlz

1  -Kite-Man- 2020-12-23

wow that really sucks man. if i were you, i honestly don't know how i could go on. that's a huge lie to have lived, and accidentally, how do you let go of that?

1  normie_girl 2020-12-23

Same, I always thought I was 5'3 but when I went to get measured for a dress it turns out i'm only 5'1.

1  HodorTheDoorHolder__ 2020-12-23

Always a bridesmaid...

1  normie_girl 2020-12-23

That was actually for my wedding dress but I didn't want to humble brag to the incels.

Btw I married Chad

1  HodorTheDoorHolder__ 2020-12-23

Congratulations!

1  normie_girl 2020-12-23

Thanks we have a baby now too! Little Chadling

1  HodorTheDoorHolder__ 2020-12-23

Hecka tight

1  SandorClegane_AMA 2020-12-23

If you work really hard you could have half as amazing life as Whil Wheaton.

1  SandorClegane_AMA 2020-12-23

Eliot Page has bumped the numbers for height of men so you are almost average now.

1  philoponeria 2020-12-23

You are shrinking like a grandmother with osteoporosis

1  istural 2020-12-23

Manlets out.

1  high_side 2020-12-23

If only being a jannie was like an amusement park ride.

1  Giga-Kant 2020-12-23

Pretty sure she lied to not to make feel you too bad about it I'm sure its lower 😎 👇

1  darth_tiffany 2020-12-23

Literally this exact same thing happened to me, right down to the heights. Congratulations Lawlz, you have something in common with a woman in her mid-30s.

1  MasterLawlz 2020-12-23

Were you able to go to the appointment alone or did you need the assistance of a caretaker for the elderly?

1  darth_tiffany 2020-12-23

Funny!

1  Minimum_T-Giraff 2020-12-23

5'7" is still a manlet.

1  RedPillDessert 2020-12-23

Time to go for that Mohican haircut you always wanted.

1  justcool393 2020-12-23

Funny I actually have the same story but it made me a lil less worse about myself since I'm trans