Yesterday, some guys at my job were talking about hunting deer, and this one super wimpy dude we all work with said that he only respects hunters if they track the deer on foot and kill them with just a rock (meaning, no guns). He was being totally serious too
1 2021-03-28 by MasterLawlz
I really wish you all could meet this guy. He's honestly a cartoon character in real life. If I saw a character exactly like him in, say, King of the Hill, I would criticize him as being some ludicrous strawman portrayal of a l*beral male feminist except he's an actual flesh and blood human being. I guarantee that if he is on reddit, and if he has ever stumbled across /r/drama, you guys have bullied him mercilessly. And you were right to do it.
Seriously, this guy is the kind of person I did not think actually existed. My super cnservative coworker said he looks like an Antifa member and I didn't argue because it's totally true. He has that hairstyle where one side of his head is shaved and then he has a fauxhawk on top. He wears suits with a handkerchief to the office even though everyone is allowed to wear t-shirts and jeans. He actually put on his Facebook that he's an atheist and his entire post history is nonstop Trmp seething.
He's also super out of shape which is what makes it so weird that he said such a dumbass comment about hunters. I guarantee his fat ass isn't a vegan and that he didn't personally kill all the cows that went into the cheeseburgers he shovels down on the daily. Not only that but by his logic, it's actually better to slowly beat an animal to death with a rock than end its life swiftly and humanely with a bullet. And in addition to that, hunters serve a vital purpose because they prevent overpopulation in some species. It's not like deer are exactly endangered. His comment was so elegantly stupid that the more I dissect it, the more layers I uncover.
At one point, our company did a training class that he led and he repeatedly asked the female employees to chime in. He worded it exactly like that. He didn't say "I would like to hear from Sally or Rebecca", he LITERALLY phrased it like "Could we hear from some of the females in the group?". It was the most awkward thing ever. He literally adheres to every ridiculous male feminist stereotype (especially of a certain sub that I apparently cannot make fun of without offending the admins) that it's actually kind of impressive.
I was talking to my super c*nservative coworker today and while he and I agree on very little, we were both in total agreement about this dude. We both agreed that he incites some deeply primal urge to bully him and the only reason that we don't is that we would get fired. I'm gonna be honest, growing up, you probably would not be surprised to learn that I was pretty much at the bottom of any social food chain so this urge to bully weaker members of my sex was not one I felt often. But there have been a select few people that were so absurdly pathetic and annoying that it brought out what little shred of masculinity laid dormant inside me and made me deeply want to bully them simply because it felt right.
52 comments
2 muck4doo 2021-03-28
In 20 years he will be considered an alpha male.
1 AutoModerator 2021-03-28
Wow this lawlzpost sucks!
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1 AutoModerator 2021-03-28
Wow, a good lawlz post for once!
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1 SnapshillBot 2021-03-28
I’m always amazed how few people know about Gamergate. It’s not only the key to understanding so many violent harassment campaigns going on today, it’s lots of the same people angry about the same stuff using the same playbook.
Snapshots:
Yesterday, some guys at my job were... - archive.org, archive.today*
/r/drama - archive.org, archive.today*
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1 HannibalK 2021-03-28
I willingly believe some dumb shit on the internet. This isn't making the cut.
1 IraqiLobster 2021-03-28
Bullying is entirely natural and is the best way to remove bad fits for the company without involving HR like a wuss
If you ever want to be a chad lawlz this is what you gotta do
1 MasterLawlz 2021-03-28
I think salespeople kinda naturally gang up on the weaker ones. When someone comes in and wastes leads or other opportunities, their very existence just annoys the rest of us. Especially since the ones that come in and do terrible usually are super cocky about it too
1 Bummunism 2021-03-28
Don't feel awkward about this urge, upper management would approve if they could tell you.
1 AnnArchist 2021-03-28
Well sales is competitive and merit based. So yes..
1 The_Reason_Trump_Won 2021-03-28
hmmmm
1 thenortheastface 2021-03-28
Should we take a moment to appreciate that it's Masterlawlz's reddit birthday?
9 years.
Lets recount the victories:
1 . Trolled Will Wheaton
Got r\drama neutered
Changed my flair once for me when I asked nicely.
Eh, solid run.
1 JeanPeuplu 2021-03-28
This is worth a ban award, you're lucky I don't want to give money to the paid jannies.
1 noPENGSinALASKA 2021-03-28
Wait I can pay a jannie to fucking ban someone. What’s the going rate
1 fentanyl_peyotl 2021-03-28
Hit "Award" under a lawlz post and then "Community."
The longest ban you can give is 80 days for 40k points.
1 noPENGSinALASKA 2021-03-28
Only $100. That’s nothing lmfao I’m gonna start doing that to fuck with people
1 ArachnoLibrarian 2021-03-28
You don't have a flair.
1 AIDS_IS_A_CHOICE 2021-03-28
1 fujiste 2021-03-28
based and cavemanpilled
1 Ultrashitposter 2021-03-28
Surprised you managed to get a job tbh
1 MasterLawlz 2021-03-28
My Reddit salary wasn’t enough to cover my monthly tendie budget
1 Ultrashitposter 2021-03-28
You couldnt get 5 bucks a month from begging? Damn, times really are rough.
1 UnheardIdentity 2021-03-28
He needs far more than $5 of tendies.
1 JeanPeuplu 2021-03-28
Are you actually becoming a real man? I like your progress, next step is to ditch the shitty TV and read proper books.
1 BroboxylicAcid 2021-03-28
Not man enough to warrant keeping his chest hair, though.
1 MasterLawlz 2021-03-28
I don’t even have chest hair to shave off smh
1 BroboxylicAcid 2021-03-28
I don't know why I even presumed you could grow it.
1 MasterLawlz 2021-03-28
Because you saw the blurry pic of me and assumed I was Austin Powers.
1 Zozbot 2021-03-28
zoz
1 Zozbot 2021-03-28
zle
1 Zozbot 2021-03-28
zozzle
1 cassiorolex 2021-03-28
Hmm very thoughtful zozzie. Interesting. Yes. Quite.
1 thenortheastface 2021-03-28
I bet your raccoon has more hair than you.
1 ironicshitpostr 2021-03-28
And delete his account, that’s an important step
1 Barkasia 2021-03-28
The only thing I dislike more than a Lawlzpost is a completely un-self aware Lawlzpost.
1 MasterLawlz 2021-03-28
I have more layers of self awareness than you could even imagine
1 Pinksister 2021-03-28
You're not invited to White Boy Summer btw lawlz.
1 cassiorolex 2021-03-28
Thank God.
1 AnnArchist 2021-03-28
What if I do exactly that with a sharp stick and a wood semi circle with a string attached
1 thenortheastface 2021-03-28
Your only allowed to have as many knives as points on the buck
1 artemis_m_oswald 2021-03-28
"this one super wimpy dude we all work with"
Sureeeeee, just like my bussy-loving "friend" who needs advice who definitely 100% isn't me
1 DaySee 2021-03-28
I for one am proud of ya. It takes a community to raise a manchild.
1 GeauxHouston22 2021-03-28
You were the wimpy guy
1 MasterLawlz 2021-03-28
in many situations, yes
im a Chad in comparison tho
1 Spysix 2021-03-28
Best way to bully in a non-HR involving way is to talk to the ladies and bring up how much of a fucking creep he is.
When he walks around to see whatcha guys are up to just hush up and talk about something else. He'll know, but he'll never have the guts to bring it up.
1 lol_te_gusto 2021-03-28
Imagine projecting in front of strangers on the internet :o.
You only want to bully because of the things you see in said person you that you would never allow your social self to say and do. You think his hot takes and smug could be shaped into less rslur views with a little bullying.
1 aqouta 2021-03-28
I only respect hunters that kill deers by manipulating the deer social circles to get it ostracized so that it kills itself.
1 tiptopkitkat 2021-03-28
But the point is well thought out of. If you cant hunt down a deer with a spear, you might as well go down to Walmart to get your meat.
1 Manchu_Fist 2021-03-28
So you work with "twig boy".
1 Shubard75 2021-03-28
Your imaginary friend is right, hunters are cucks. Being proud of yourself for killing a deer when you have a rifle is like being proud of squishing an ant. For 95% of human history, our ancestors spent their entire lives hunting with shitty stone spears, it's literally what we were designed to do. Being able to kill a deer without a gun is the baseline of what a human male is supposed to be able to accomplish just to survive. Yet these hobby hunters are proud of themselves for killing one with a gun and then going back to their air conditioned homes as they post about it on Instagram. Pathetic.
1 cassiorolex 2021-03-28
You've never hunted before have you?
1 MasterLawlz 2021-03-28
are you proud of this comment
2 Arachnotron69 2021-03-28
I mean, tbf skinny dweebs with shitty haircuts bitching about how hunters don't kill with their hands like real men sounds perfectly in line with the type of chan rightoid who worships Uncle Ted and thinks the Enlightenment was the downfall of civilization.