Yes, sitting at home playing with funko pops 24/7 is infinitely less degenerate than having drinks with real humans.

Please tell me you don't actually own funkopops.

I have a burning desire to beat men who own funkopops with a cane for their own good.

I could make you into a real man, Lawlz.

None of them have been willing to take the measures I'm willing to take with gormless fucking would be man-things.

Funkopop owners should expect nothing less than a swift and merciless kick in the groin, first thing in the morning, every God Damn day of their life. Lord knows you take one metaphorically. Reifying that metaphor might help you take steps to improve your condition.

Easiest way to fix any of those bars.
Lower the beer prices.
Have decent food that's normal.
Bartenders/servers with big tits. They don't even have to be super hot.

Lots of tvs with sports.

That show is still on the air? They worked on a dying bar near my old house and it ended up closing up anyhow.

Running a bar is hard, you gotta be on top of inventory, distributors, and employee theivery

A restaurant in my hometown went on restaurant impossible back in the day. Before it had been the same restaurant for a few decades with the same owner, but now it's three owners and two restaurants later. Not that anyone much misses the old one. I actually went there after the show "fixed" it and was one of three people that got food poisoning that night.

I was actually interviewed for the show. There was a cheap blue collar bar I frequented. After they redid it, I went there on the first day by coincidence. I was telling the camera crew how much I hated the new bar and the crew was loving it and giving me hand signals to keep going about how much I hated it. I basically tore apart every single thing about it. Not just the atmosphere, but the menu (was formerly a cheep beer and cheep whiskey bar) and said that no one who used to go here would go here again. My comments were of course never in the show and it closed down a few months later.

Watching John Taffer on Bar Rescue is the closest MasterLawlz had to having a dad.

I like Bar Rescue and Tabatha's Salon Takeover (or whatever the fuck its called) because it's hilarious that the mythical "American small business owners" are always spineless, incompetent, drunken inbred liars, and it's therefore hilarious to see them all get reamed out by some TV show sponsored by a non-American multinational.

Diageo isn't. Or did you mong brain not register that the bar now becomes Diageo territory?

They mention it literally every episode, you mong. It's the supplier of all the booze they sell. Diageo owns brands like Johnny Walker, Seagram's, Bulleit, Crown Royal, Captain Morgan, Gordon's, Tanqueray and Guinness. They have Diageo's head mixologist on-screen to give the bars their "signature drinks" (with Diageo ingredients). Whatever the bars were selling before, they sure as shit convert to Diageo products afterwards.

People who have gone through a functional education system (i.e. non-Americans) can pay attention to the screaming rednecks AND still notice the blatant corporate propaganda.

No Coca-Cola Left Behind.

You can play all the word games you want you can't hide the inflection of empathy.

If you want to live out your wierd owning a bar fantasy through tv media that's cool man we still love you.

What would you call your bar?

I'd call mine the Manhole... A blue collar motiff

jesus fuck, you people. I've now unsubscribed, which is a shame, because a lot of greentexts are genuinely funny, but this alt-right underbelly is just unbearable.

Snapshots:

1. Do you guys ever watch Bar Rescue? ... - archive.org, archive.today*

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Where's the bad lawlz post automod?

You know damn well why

Just askin where's not at....

I don't have netflix

I would love to take you out for a night💃😈

No that's you in the dress

I never drink or go to bars (even before Covid)

We know.

These shows are largely grifts on failing small businesses. Shark Tank is instead long form advertising since one can buy whatever shit they're peddling without leaving the couch.

And Jesus, there are some decent bars in the dfw area, he's missing out.

I went to a bar that was on that show both before and after they changed. They made it to be themed like a power plant. The props looked like absolute garbage. They clearly were made to be shot from certain angles for TV but looked terrible in person.

I think the bar stayed open for a while but pretty much completely reverted back to how it was before.

I was gonna say the stereotypical “you sound like a lot of fun at parties”, but I have a hard time believe anyone would invite you to one.

Nah man 90 day fiancé. There was this obese white women, who wrangled her some kid from the dominican. Anyway she starts talking about how he's on instagram, posting pics of himself shirtless this that, and messaging other girl. Then she talks about how he doesn't help out around the house.

I was thinking to myself if the sex roles were reversed people would be outraged.

Wow, a good lawlz post for once!

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