Net Worth: ~`$215,700 (My net worth is half of my house value, $770,000, minus half of remaining mortgages, minus student loans for my older children, minus credit card debt, plus pension fund and savings.)

Debt: $291,688 (Credit card: $12,738, home equity loan: $118,000, primary mortgage: $77,000, student loans: $83,950)

Do you worry about money now?

Every, every day. My husband and I have been in a cold war for a few years now. I’m not even sure how it started, but it definitely had something to do with money. We’ve always kept our money separate, even when I was a stay-at-home parent for about 15 years. L. was always able to pay all of our expenses, but he’s gotten more and more unwilling to do so over the years. As of now, he pays what he must to keep a roof over our heads, but not much more. For about the past 10 years, he has not contributed to any of the children’s college educations, nor to semi-discretionary expenses like clothing, birthday gifts, prom, AP tests, college application fees, dorm stuff, etc., which is why I have so much debt and no savings. He has no debt other than our mortgage and home equity loan, and approximately $450,000 in retirement accounts (I snuck a look at his statement for this diary). I don’t know how much he has in other savings, though I have to assume that it is quite a bit. He is self-employed and refuses to divulge how much he makes. I know that he declared $85,000 on our tax return this year, but in the past, it has been as much as $275,000. It's a financially abusive relationship, and I can't afford to get out. I am trying to save enough for an attorney, but that is proving to be almost impossible, given the high cost of children and education.

The story of a suburban teacher whose husband is hiding money from her while the kids are constantly hitting her up for money. The comments have a lot of me too's in them.

This money diary also made me cry. I think there are many women in financially abusive relationships and I hope OP is able to get out of this relationship. I cannot imagine how lonely it must be with a selfish partner like that. I hope OP knows that we're all routing for her.

If you run the current numbers provided, OP has $25,358 in discretionary spending per year, while her husband has $25,324. Nearly equal. Does it make him selfish to prioritize saving for retirement while OP prioritizes spending on education expenses for their adult children? Seems more like a difference in financial priorities and values.

This ruffled some feathers.

Why do you belong? Paragraphs preferred.

My parents took out a loan and bought a jeep back in 2019 and now they don’t drive it because of the gas prices. My dad does Uber for extra money and says that it would be better if he buys a hybrid to save on gas.

Also whenever I bring up budgeting he hits me with the “it’s not that simple” talk

Also

I think you should pay out of pocket for your dad and mom to sit down with a financial planner or an accountant, a well-reviewed one who charges by the hour (avoid salesmen who will try to sell your parents investments and make money on commission).

I brought up talking to a financial advisor but my dad told me “what is he gonna tell me that I don’t know” .I even offered to pay for the session. Today is my last attempt to try and help him. After this I’m not helping