deep breath

Spoilers for a 20 year old TV series & TW for special interest 'tism...

The creator/showrunner/lead writer of Gilmore Girls was Amy Sherman-Palladino (ASP), and she's the main person responsible for the unique cozy vibe and fast-paced, reference-heavy dialogue of the original series. She's also something of a crazy control freak who had a very particular predefined arc in mind for the show, one that would highlight the parallels between Rory and her mother and grandmother, Emily (the 3rd Gilmore Girl). For years fans heard about the mysterious "final 4 words" that she already knew would end the series. She's like the opposite of the GoT showrunners who had no idea how the frick they were going to wrap up the ending.

ASP may be a stubborn b-word but she's a good writer with strong hat game

Except... ASP was forced out after the penultimate sixth season of the original run in a contract dispute with the network, the details of which have always been hazy. Toward the end of the sixth season, ASP added a bunch of zany plots (e.g. Lorelai throwing herself at Rory's deadbeat dad, Christopher) that almost seemed like a vindictive attempt to sabotage the show on her way out the door. The new show runners dumped into the thick of it for the seventh season did their best to tie up all the bizarre loose ends, and in doing so they moved away from the predestined fatalism of ASP's original arc - the theme of which could be loosely summed up as "no matter how you try to run away from it, you always grow up to be your mother."

Spoiled douchbag boyfriend, meet spoiled douchebag dad

For example, ASP always had in mind that Rory's rich, spoiled boyfriend, Logan, would be "her Christopher," a dissolute playboy who toys with her heart, knocks her up, and ultimately abandons her - but during the final season without ASP, the writers moved away from that storyline: Logan becomes estranged from his wealthy family, he has to stand on his own two feet, he exhibits personal growth. By the end of the series, he's ready to commit; he doesn't abandon Rory, he wants to marry her, but she decides she's not ready to settle down so young. The original series ends with Rory Gilmore, a promising young journ*list heading off to Iowa to cover the long-shot presidential campaign of a promising young Senator named Barack Obama.

The seventh season is divisive among fans for a few reasons (the hasty resolution of many of ASP's S6 landmine plots, the dialogue feels kind of off, some new characters are sloppily introduced late in the game) but I think most people enjoyed seeing Logan grow up a bit and the way his relationship with Rory matured. Most people liked the ending, and thought it was fitting to have Rory choose herself and her career over a man. There's a little bit of added millennial nostalgia/wish-fulfillment and serendipity to see Rory climbing onto the Obama campaign bus when we know he's going to win that race. As viewers, we figure Rory is off to a great start with a bright future ahead of her covering a landmark campaign up close.

Go get 'em, Ace!

Then, eight years later, Netflix gave ASP an assload of money to make A Year in the Life and she used it to take a giant shit all over Season Seven. She basically returned to Stars Hollow with the intent to settle old scores and give Gilmore Girls the ending that she knew it had to have: even if it didn't make a darn lick of sense almost a decade later. She has claimed that she has never watched S7, that she doesn't even really consider it canon. She said she had an assistant watch it and take notes for her. In AYITL, she kept one baby born in S7, and threw out almost everything else, determined to tell her version of what season 7 should have been.

Netflix: Buying your childhood to wear as a four-piece skinsuit

Lorelai and Luke (her main love interest/will-they-won't-they) act like newlyweds wrestling with the decision about whether to have kids, even though they've been married for the better part of a decade and Lorelai is pushing 50. Rory is broke, directionless and struggling like a new college grad, not like a woman in her 30s with access to a multimillion dollar trust fund. Logan is instantly back to being a useless frickboi: engaged to a beautiful woman we never see, but carrying on an affair with Rory.

The only good storyline in AYITL centers on Emily coming to terms with the loss of her husband, Richard (Rory's grandfather) and that story was forced on ASP by the real-life death of the actor Edward Herrmann. She had to actually write a new, age-appropriate story for Emily instead of dusting off whatever she wanted to do for S7, and it's so much better for it.

Poor Ed's brain cancer is the real MVP of AYITL

There's a bunch of other minor shit that sucks in AYITL: fat-shaming that feels very early-2000s and out of step with modern culture, lazily retconning certain characters to be gay for added diversity, an unfunny retread of the "Ann? Her?" gag from Arrested Development. But the main reason A Year In The Life is terrible is that ASP was too stubborn to incorporate any of the stories that other writers had given to her characters, so instead of a thoughtful extrapolation of how these characters might have lived and grown or changed over almost ten years, she did S7: ASP's Version. It's 2016, not 2007, but no one has changed at all or learned anything in the meantime.

A Year in the Life ends with the famous "final four words" that ASP had always preordained, even if they no longer make any goddarn sense from a narrative perspective:

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant."

Barely 32 years old and having a bastard with this dude!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, as a reward for your patience, enjoy this spot-on Mad TV parody:

I'll make this an effort post since I know you zoomies know nothing about the Internet or gaming before 2015.

Dyack in the middle

Silicon Knights

Silicon Knights was a Canadian developer who made a few decent games, like Legacy of Kain and the Gamecube remake of Metal Gear Solid. They're mainly remembered for the classic Gamecube horror game Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem, which is quite good for its time and is notable for being the only rated-M game ever published directly by Nintendo. They were lead by a guy named Dennis Dyack, a whiny manchild who doomed his company to fail.

Zoomers: This was considered scary in 2002

To give you an idea of their management, here's an image of games in production, games that were cancelled or abandoned before release are marked in yellow. Note the staggering ratio of unreleased/released games:

Anyways, Dyack's passion project for decades had always been a game called Too Human, but every effort to make it had been abortive. After the successes of Eternal Darkness and MGS, Dyack decides the Wii doesn't have shiny enough graphics and makes the bold choice to unshackle his company from a lucrative position as a Nintendo third party so he can truly fulfill his vision on the superior XBawx Please Fix Me. Silicon Knights shacks up with Microsoft and Epic Games and produce an E3 demo (zoomers: people used to go to an annual convention for video game trailers) which is received overwhelmingly negatively.

Dyack is NOT HAPPY and goes on the IGN forums to whine about how the critics will regret their words and deeds:

Unedited clip from Too Human

NeoGAF

Once upon a time there was a gayming website called Gaming Age, with their forum called the Gaming Age Forum (or GAF). Eventually Gaming Age imploded, but the top two jannies (Evillore and Bishoptl) were able to move their community to a new forum, appropriately called NeoGAF. You wouldn't know it these days with GAF being a shambling corpse and its spinoff ResetERA being what it is, but pre-G*merGate GAF was chill and a place where industry figures would show up and sperg out while everyone laughed at them.

Dennis Dyack makes a bet

Once such figure was our hero, Dyack. With his new slop getting trashed by GAFfers, he makes a thread to bet on how it'll turn out:

Right now the man just appears confident in his project. But his next post is a bit more... unhinged, and seems to be setting the bar rather low by making alreay-forgotten games Lair and Haze the standard to beat:

He then goes for an interview on 1up (Zoomers: Now-defunct gaming journo site) and whined about how people saying mean things online is ruining America and how if the NeoGAF mods don't start respecting Denis Dyack and Too Human he's going to call the Internet Police and shut them down!

Dyack then does another interview where he declares that not only is NeoGAF the worst forum in the world, but forums in general are evil and this is why the US military no longer uses writing:

Too Human comes out and scores lower than Haze. In classic GAF fashion the top janny punishes Dyack for losing the bet by writing lots of words and then perma-banning him. Dyack copes by saying g*mers are too stupid to understand his genius.

By this point the capital-G G*mers are pissed at Dyack in a way that prefigures G*merGate in a way. Seething articles are written speculating that angering the G*mers has resulted in him not just being banned from NeoGAF, but divorced from his wife, kicked out of the house, abandoned by his employees, his car towed, banned from every website ever, banned from the city of Niagara and tossed over the waterfall.

He messed with g*mers. G*mers.

The Saga Ends

Denis Dyack has brought Silicon Knights from one of the more respected devs in the industry to basically a joke. Following the failure of Too Human Dyack blamed the Unreal Engine and Epic Games and made the genius decision to sue them. This didn't go their way and by 2012 they owed Epic millions of dollars, had less than five employees, and were legally obligated to destroy all of their unsold games and source code.

In the meantime they had six more projects (including two sequels for Too Human) which were cancelled before they finally released another game, the absolutely awful X-Men Destiny, which turns out to be their last. In desperation, Dyack crawls back to Nintendo and pitches a sequel to their last hit, Eternal Darkness. NeoGAF insider reveals that Nintendo is agreeable until SK loses the lawsuit against Epic, and they decide they'd rather not fork over $10 million in legal fees so SK can survive, which Dyack denied. Former SK staff reveal that this was the case and part of the reason the X-Men game sucked was because Dyack was taking money given by Activision for that game and instead putting it toward Eternal Darkness II.

Years later Dyack attempts to kickstart his own Eternal Darkness successor and makes $300,000 out of the $700,000 target. He has yet to make another game. The end!

Dyack, left

tl;dr

Isaac, Houston, TX

Career:

• 2022 - working as Sales Rep at a Tile store, making 3-4k a month while going to school full time

  • Left job to focus on classes because he was having issues

• Doing UberEats/Doordash, also getting money from his father

  • "If I need some I'll ask and he might send it"

  • He stopped doing the gig stuff because he injured his knee timestamp

    • Can't do regular Uber because his car does not qualify

    • Has a 2012 Corolla - later clarifies that it's above the miles limit

    • "My knee hurts when I drive"

      • He drove 3 hours over to Caleb, driving 3 hours back later.

      • Something to his meniscus

• Costco opening nextdoor - planning on getting a job there

• Was a Solar Salesman at the beginning of this semester but the company closed down?

Education:

• Studying Biotech (undergrad)

• 4th year but with credits he is a junior, will be finishing in 5 years

  • Had some issues during COVID, didn't pass a lot of classes - trying to make up for that now

• 2.0 GPA overall

  • "Yeah I just got to 2.0 last semester" timestamp

• "Yeah I passed one class... in COVID" timestamp

• Failed Intro to Biotechnology class timestamp

  • "I was passing that class up until the final"

  • Failed "Fundamentals of Chemistry"

• "Why'd you pick this major" timestamp

  • He thought it sounded interesting

  • "So what's your career path"

    • "What do you mean my career path?"

• "A 2.0 is good though" timestamp

• He's taking 26 credits this semester

  • "You can't do that"

    • "Can't do that at one college"

  • "I've learned a few new techniques this semester so I'm dialed in" timestamp

    • 'Like what?"

      • "ummmmm"

    • He's just taking adderall l timestamp

• Payments to "StudyPool" timestamp

  • Website where you "get help" on your assignments

  • "I would never cheat" - this site is definitely cheating

  • Looks like it's a per assignment basis - lots of these

  • $360 last month (allegedly splits with his friend)

• NBS Facts timestamp

  • $30 payment, he says he doesn't know what that is

Finances

• Put his all tuition on his credit cards timestamp

  • An Apple card specifically

  • "I haven't missed a payment"

• Spending a lot on eating out/misc bullshit

• Self-rated a 5/10 in finances timestamp

• Credit Card 1 ($14'715) timestamp

  • $548 minimum payment

• Should he consolidate his debt timestamp

  • If he could actually control himself yes

• Missed payment timestamp

  • He says he doesn't have any but there's $40 in late fees - he paid it a day late but confused this with the concept of a missed payment

• Reasoning for putting tuition on the CC timestamp

  • thought his dad would help pay it off

  • Dad had purchased a house but needed help with the down-payment - $15'000

    • Father is letting him live there rent free and considers this repayment? Not sure if I followed this right

• Coinbase and Robinhood timestamp

  • Invested in crypto?

  • Coinbase - $3'666 in 2021, down to $60 today

  • Robinhood - $6'006, down to $6?

Miscellaneous

• Oracle ad placement

• There's some sort of on-boarding video now timestamp

  • He didn't bother watching it

• Girlfriend gets time to talk timestamp

  • Didn't know how much debt he's in

  • "I think he's nervous he's not usually like this"

  • "He gets defensive when we argue so I think that's what he was doing with you"

  • Thinking about marrying him, wouldn't until he's out of debt

  • Guy's dad doesn't actually give him that much money

• Guy applied to show through Insta

As you probably know by now, I'm a sick, sick man. I am diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder along with OCD. This has affected my life negatively, but I'm still alive which more than many can say. Today, I'm going to explain the ins and outs of Bipolar Disorder. I hope you enjoy the short read.

What is Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a mental disorder characterised by mood swings. In other words, the sufferer may have periods of great euphoria followed by an irrational manic-depressive episode. During the upswing, a Bipolar patient will experience the following:

• euphoria

• high motivation

• irritability

• risky behaviour

• heightened sexual activity

I am currently in an upswing and I have very little need for sleep. Five hours or less is enough for now, which is partially why I have time for this shit. I also feel highly productive and cannot stop myself from producing something. I wish I was a genius so I could channel this energy into something other than rdrama posts that 12 people will upvote and cause 3 people to block me. After the upswing comes the downswing which consists of depression, suicidal thoughts, a lack of motivation, and self-harm. How much self-harm? It is estimated that 30-40% of folks with Bipolar Disorder will engage in self-harming behaviour. Upswings and downswings are usually not congruent with what is going on in the person's life. For example, someone with a good life may find themselves in a downswing while others may experience a euphoric downswing as they ruin their life.

Quick notes from Holly!

Holly says to take benzos, avoid sleep, play The Last of Us Part 2, and listen to Cocaine 80s. In between these activities, make shitposts on rdrama.

How quickly do these mood swings occur? Well, it depends on what kind of Bipolar disorder one suffers from. With Bipolar I and II, each upswing and downswing can last weeks to months. However, there exists rapid cyclic bipolar which is typically characterised as a series of 4 or more upswings or downswings occurring within a 12-month period. Symptoms typically begin to manifest in one's early twenties, though signs may appear during teen years or it could onset in one's late twenties.

Difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II

Though Bipolar I and II share many similarities, there are some key differences. Most notably, one can only be diagnosed with Bipolar I if they experience a manic episode. A manic episode is characterized by psychotic symptoms such as visual and audio hallucinations. Other symptoms include:

• racing thoughts

• disinhibited social behaviour

• hypersexuality

• feelings of grandiosity

• pressured speech

For example, someone may feel that they are receiving messages from God, hear divine voices calling their name, believe they can change the world, or are on a special mission. With the propensity for risky behaviour comes increased drug use and risky sexual behaviour. Such individuals typically end up requiring involuntary institutionalization, and they demonstrate decreased activity in the lingual gyrus region of the brain and decreased activity in the inferior frontal cortex. In contrast, Bipolar II patients suffer from hypomania which is more subdued and less likely to ruin someone's life, but is nonetheless still highly disruptive. They do not experience the psychotic aspects of mania and do not usually require hospitalization during a hypomanic episode.

What goes up must come down. When the mania or hypomania is up, we get to the depressive stage. This is usually a period filled with great regret, melancholy, and a downswing in one's mood. This period is usually longer than the hypomanic or manic phase and this is when the self-harm and suicidal ideation slips in. Activities that were once enjoyed now feel dull, and constant sleep is common. During one of my downswings this year, I had to be hospitalized after severe self-harming.

But wait! There's a third option! Some people suffer from mixed affective state. This is when a person experiences an upswing and downswing simultaneously. This is common in patients with rapid cyclic bipolar where the mood swings occur so quickly, they don't have time to resolve.

What causes Bipolar Disorder

It is currently not known precisely what causes Bipolar Disorder though it is estimated that it is 70-90% genetic with a minimal environment factor. For example, an abusive childhood can aggravate the condition or a significant life event such as the loss of a loved one.

Scientists have zoned in on variants within the genes CACNA1C, ODZ4, and NCAN, and polymorphisms in BDNF, DRD4, DAO, and TPH1. The end-result is dysregulation in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex portion of the brain.

Treatment of Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is treated through a combination of therapy and medication. Currently, I am on lithium (a controversial mood stabilizer) and Abilify (an antipsychotic). Previously I have also been on sodium valproate and serdep. And of course, I have been given a plethora of benzodiazepines. Typical therapy methods include CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy).

It is difficult to treat Bipolar disorder because those with the illness are often in denial about it and resistant to treatment. This is especially true during manic episodes. Hence, more than 75% of individuals with BD inconsistently take their medications for various reasons.

Bipolar Disorder memes and infographics

Conclusion

I hate being bipolar. It's awesome.

Tune in next time when I discuss the function of the foreskin or the Beat Generation or some shit.