Instead of giving all your money to the queen and hoping she gives a little back, we give the few extra dollars we may have to a tight knit group of grabblers who are legally and politically immune from the consequences of losing or (((losing))) that money.
It's normal. The whole point of a 401k type plan is that while the market fluctates, you're always buying. So when it takes a shit like it did recently, the up side is that your funds should have bought a bunch of shit during that time period on the cheap.
This is why they say to start early. You'll experience more of these cycles and pick up more good deals by the time you retire.
Index funds are for chumps, you just get average returns. When you lose 30% of your portfolio, you need a 43% gain to get back what you lost. That takes years with average returns.
Yeah I read it correctly the first time, but my point was "if 95% of mutual fund managers can't beat the market, what makes you think you can?" Your response was "95% of individual investors also underperform the market, and I can beat them because I'm (((smarter))) than them."
Who cares if you're smarter than the average idiot running TA day trading software? That's not much of an accomplishment. Are you smarter than the mutual fund managers? Because they lose this game, too.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Harvard Business School, and I’ve been involved in numerous leveraged buyouts, and I have over 300 million invested in my Cayman Islands bank account alone. I am trained in portfolio management and I’m the top short seller in the entire US market. You are nothing to me but just another piggy bank. I will wipe the value of your assets the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of accountants across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Roth IRA. You’re fucking over, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can make you broke in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just if I stick to stocks. Not only am I extensively trained in equity markets, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Securities and Exchange Commission and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking done, kiddo. theres many of us.
I’ve personally intervened at least 3 times on behalf of r/drama regulars, and yet there’s STILL ongoing hate in this sub. SMDH you try your best and still get fucked, Aliyah WHEN??
Seems unlikely? Even just looking at Vanguard, their actively managed funds tend to outperform the equivalent index fund, even when you take into account the expense ratio. The problem is that actively managed funds have a lot of turn over, so you get screwed with capital gains taxes. Not a problem in a tax advantaged account though.
He's the one who said that actively managed funds couldn't beat VFIAX, which you said "seems unlikely". Maybe you have some tips for Jeff Bezos on how to do e-commerce too.
He is a financial advisor at a major fiirm. I can guarantee you someone else is already fucking his wife, probably the pool boy, garbage man or the advisor's higher uppers.
I lost pretty much all the money I had in 2016 trying to short the market betting on a Trump victory. I was in college so it wasn’t much but I was even more broke. Fuck Donaldo Dereumphlumph and fuck white people.
Unless you are planning on retiring in 6 months, you didn't lose anything. Watching a bunch of millennials shitting their pants over experiencing their first bear market value loss is amusing.
might as well post my rant on a masterlawlz sticky
What the fuck happened to "The Legend of Spyro"? I don't mean the gay-ass Spyro we have now. The current Spyro is a goofy motherfucker akin to Crash Bandicoot. In fact Spyro and Crash were practically in the same universe back in Gameboy days, and nowadays it feels like we're back to that.
Legend of Spyro was something different, as in it was fucking serious. Nothing about it was "goofy" except the occasional joke some character may make (usually the fucking firefly). I think Elemental Night was my favorite game. The game really fucking nailed that fantasy atmosphere (and usually I fucking hate fantasy) and it was really amazing to learn the elements as if you were the fucking Avatar or some shit. And that boss fight at the end was fucking amazing, as it was building up to that moment all along. And it fucking delivered, with that epic fucking music and the "moon eclipse" thing it had going on. You were overpowered as fuck yet it felt satisfying.
And the game was challenging too. The last few levels were actually fucking hard, which is not something you get in the current games. Current games make sure you scale up with the enemy, whereas in The Elemental Night you weren't "scaling up", you were scaling sideways so to speak because you were getting new skills that weren't more powerful, but were unique.
Whatever though I guess I'll try emulating the game. I have no idea where to get a rip of the game though. I'm 90% sure I can't find the CD I used to have.
I gotta add though, the third game was horseshit. Fuck any game that mentally forces you to play coop. Dead Space 3 was fucked, this game was fucked, and the most recent example I can think of is Ashen, which was fucked even if it didn't have that coop horseshit.
113 comments
1 ComedicSans 2018-12-26
1 Ed_ButteredToast 2018-12-26
MRW https://i.imgur.com/0V3T1Hh.gifv
1 MasterLawlz 2018-12-26
a true classic
1 Ed_ButteredToast 2018-12-26
ikr? the top comment there makes up for all the times I've been mean to your posts, lol
1 tcfb 2018-12-26
https://i.imgur.com/WLMJ6D7.jpg
1 dramasexual 2018-12-26
Film it and post it here
1 Ed_ButteredToast 2018-12-26
😴😴😴
1 cmakk1012 2018-12-26
Imagine having any kind of financial reserves at all
Lmao @ having-their-lives-togethercels
1 RealJackAnchor 2018-12-26
Implying MasterLawls has his life together.
1 gerradp 2018-12-26
MasterLawlz 401k consists of meta-memes about drama and Aly accounts where he stashes upvotes because he is a huge fucking faggot numpty NEET
1 100_Percent_not_homo 2018-12-26
401k more like 401 gay
1 froibo 2018-12-26
Don't worry, we're up 5 points today.
1 WeWuzKANG5 2018-12-26
The stock market is the lottery for stupid, but less stupid people.
1 ElonMuskar 2018-12-26
like & share if all this 401k and ROTsomething crap make no sense to you because you aren't in burgerland
1 uniqueguy263 2018-12-26
Stocks but weird tax shit
1 mariaschicklgruber 2018-12-26
Instead of giving all your money to the queen and hoping she gives a little back, we give the few extra dollars we may have to a tight knit group of grabblers who are legally and politically immune from the consequences of losing or (((losing))) that money.
1 SuperShake66652 2018-12-26
Should have dumped your stupid fiat money into Dramacoin.
1 Fletch71011 2018-12-26
Did you put all your money into the market in October or something? Or is your advisor just a special brand of retard?
1 MasterLawlz 2018-12-26
I first got the portfolio in February I believe.
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
Weak. I’m only down 10% over the same period 💪💪💪
I thought my 401k options sucked, barely any funds to choose from. But yours really sucks.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-12-26
It's normal. The whole point of a 401k type plan is that while the market fluctates, you're always buying. So when it takes a shit like it did recently, the up side is that your funds should have bought a bunch of shit during that time period on the cheap.
This is why they say to start early. You'll experience more of these cycles and pick up more good deals by the time you retire.
If you live that long anyway.
1 iamusingplebbit 2018-12-26
Sell! Sell! Sell! Don’t be a hodlcel
Ahhhhhhhh
1 uniqueguy263 2018-12-26
That's really awful advice. Stocks aren't Bitcoin
1 VapeOnYourNape 2018-12-26
bitcoin had an unprecedented rally about a year before the stock market took off, and its been about a year sense bitcoins crash..
SELL
1 uniqueguy263 2018-12-26
Bitcoin didn't exist in March 2008 lmao
1 VapeOnYourNape 2018-12-26
reread my comment but slower
pm me if you have any questions about the words and what they mean
1 uniqueguy263 2018-12-26
The stock market did not take off in 2017 you moron
1 nanonan 2018-12-26
It only climbed higher than it had ever been, no big deal.
1 uniqueguy263 2018-12-26
Yeah, as it had been doing the past five years straight.
1 nanonan 2018-12-26
Yeah, it never stagnated at all in that time.
1 dogwheiner 2018-12-26
Yes, that is what happened. Anyone that isn't retarded can see that on the chart.
1 Eternal_Mr_Bones 2018-12-26
Sell a 401k and let gobmint take my money?
I think not.
1 VapeOnYourNape 2018-12-26
lol you can sell investments in a 401k account, the government just takes their cut when you pull it out of that account you fool
1 whenweriiide 2018-12-26
Mmm. Keep us posted.
1 blyatman12345 2018-12-26
Post lossporn to r/wallstreetbets
1 shitpersonality 2018-12-26
This is good for bitcoin!
1 thassidus 2018-12-26
What are your allocations?
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
100% small cap value 💪💪💪
1 icefourthirtythree 2018-12-26
Is this the first lawlz post without his picture? C'mon you guys disappoint me.
1 binenut 2018-12-26
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
Index funds are for chumps, you just get average returns. When you lose 30% of your portfolio, you need a 43% gain to get back what you lost. That takes years with average returns.
1 snallygaster 2018-12-26
Not everyone is interested in gambling away their money, you know
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
You can beat the market and reduce your risk at the same time. Speculators are gamblers, investors are not. Learn the difference.
1 ironicshitpostr 2018-12-26
I'd be happy to teach anyone who wants to know more for a small fee.
Western Union or MoneyGram only.
1 binenut 2018-12-26
If you could reliably teach that, if would be worth much more than any four digits denominated in dollars.
1 ironicshitpostr 2018-12-26
If you can't figure out the gist of my lesson from the payment options, you're definitely the kind of fucktard who should buy it.
1 TobyTheRobot 2018-12-26
95% of mutual fund managers underperform the market, and they really know what they're doing. I suppose you're about to tell me that you're some kind of genius who is smarter than all of them?
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
95% of individual investors also underperform the market. But as one of the chosen people, I am not a member of that 95%.
1 TobyTheRobot 2018-12-26
Not "individual investors" -- 95% of (((mutual fund managers))) underperform the market.
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
Learn to read.
1 TobyTheRobot 2018-12-26
Yeah I read it correctly the first time, but my point was "if 95% of mutual fund managers can't beat the market, what makes you think you can?" Your response was "95% of individual investors also underperform the market, and I can beat them because I'm (((smarter))) than them."
Who cares if you're smarter than the average idiot running TA day trading software? That's not much of an accomplishment. Are you smarter than the mutual fund managers? Because they lose this game, too.
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Harvard Business School, and I’ve been involved in numerous leveraged buyouts, and I have over 300 million invested in my Cayman Islands bank account alone. I am trained in portfolio management and I’m the top short seller in the entire US market. You are nothing to me but just another piggy bank. I will wipe the value of your assets the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of accountants across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Roth IRA. You’re fucking over, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can make you broke in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just if I stick to stocks. Not only am I extensively trained in equity markets, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Securities and Exchange Commission and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking done, kiddo. theres many of us.
1 LongPostBot 2018-12-26
OUT
OUT
OUT
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 alot_the_murdered 2018-12-26
To be fair, that's after fees.
1 [deleted] 2018-12-26
[removed]
1 100_Percent_not_homo 2018-12-26
Imagine trying to beat the market
1 Vurtizontal 2018-12-26
Looks at this retard with his life all well put together. Fuck you too buddy.
1 sadderreborn 2018-12-26
> not investing in bullets, alcohol, cigareettes, and gold
Lol have fun when the shit hits the fan
1 AnnoysTheGoys 2018-12-26
Yes. It's your advisor. Even if hymie curses were real, I certainly wouldn't ever use them, especially not on you.
1 cimarafa 2018-12-26
I’ve personally intervened at least 3 times on behalf of r/drama regulars, and yet there’s STILL ongoing hate in this sub. SMDH you try your best and still get fucked, Aliyah WHEN??
1 Mat_The_49th 2018-12-26
https://i.imgur.com/WLMJ6D7.jpg
1 MikeStoklasaAlcohol 2018-12-26
He grows sexier every time I see that picture
1 seenten 2018-12-26
We have a long post bot and two snapshill bots; surely we can get one that follows lawlz around and posts this
1 zergling_Lester 2018-12-26
Seentent!
1 totalrandomperson 2018-12-26
/u/lightumbra
1 LightUmbra 2018-12-26
I'll see if I can have one post on my every lawlz modpost. I also may get really lazy and just not do it.
1 loli_esports 2018-12-26
I don't want to think about pat having sex
1 33_44then12 2018-12-26
Magellan, fuckface.
1 33_44then12 2018-12-26
Index funds you dolt.
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
1 zergling_Lester 2018-12-26
Didn't someone won a long 25 year bet about those recently, like they beat every single hedge fund?
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
Seems unlikely? Even just looking at Vanguard, their actively managed funds tend to outperform the equivalent index fund, even when you take into account the expense ratio. The problem is that actively managed funds have a lot of turn over, so you get screwed with capital gains taxes. Not a problem in a tax advantaged account though.
1 ArchangelleRoger 2018-12-26
I love how Reddit is full of retards who literally believe they know more about investing than Warren fucking Buffett.
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
Cause he’s all in on index funds right?
1 ArchangelleRoger 2018-12-26
He's the one who said that actively managed funds couldn't beat VFIAX, which you said "seems unlikely". Maybe you have some tips for Jeff Bezos on how to do e-commerce too.
1 VapeOnYourNape 2018-12-26
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2018-12-26
VMRAX, VPMAX and VPCCX are all beating VFIAX over every time period? Sadly they’re closed to new investors.
1 zergling_Lester 2018-12-26
http://fortune.com/2017/12/30/warren-buffett-million-dollar-bet/
1 iamusingplebbit 2018-12-26
Index investing. Literally the most beta investing strategy
1 BrawndoTTM 2018-12-26
The Virgin Index Fund vs the Chad Options Trader
1 BrawndoTTM 2018-12-26
Imagine paying MER and letting greedy bankers skim off your portfolio like some kind of financial cuckhold
1 Lysis10 2018-12-26
Well, you're doing better than buttcoiners.
1 Vurtizontal 2018-12-26
He is a financial advisor at a major fiirm. I can guarantee you someone else is already fucking his wife, probably the pool boy, garbage man or the advisor's higher uppers.
1 error404brain 2018-12-26
FTFY.
1 DAE_LeDumpfLOL 2018-12-26
k
1 UpvoteIfYouDare 2018-12-26
Why are you even looking at your 401k lol?
1 SexyTaft 2018-12-26
I lost pretty much all the money I had in 2016 trying to short the market betting on a Trump victory. I was in college so it wasn’t much but I was even more broke. Fuck Donaldo Dereumphlumph and fuck white people.
1 seenten 2018-12-26
Imagine having your retirement fund pegged to essentially a slot machine 😂😂😂
1 lSimonl 2018-12-26
buy amd calls, they're announcing something big the 9th of January
1 crefakis 2018-12-26
AMD is such a meme share. I made money from it this year, but jesus I wouldn't want to hold onto it for very long.
1 N897 2018-12-26
Theyll probably be announcing the third generation of ryzen desktop CPUs, and maybe new GPUs as well
1 muck4doo 2018-12-26
Glen Beck told you that you should have bought gold.
1 onenight1234 2018-12-26
like drama posters have their money in one of the generic 401ks and just get the customer service line when they call their "adviser"
1 DoctorFahrenheit 2018-12-26
Imagine not investing your money in sports gambling. Fucking mayos swear to God.
1 philoponeria 2018-12-26
Is she hot or is this just a revenge porn.com thing?
1 Momruepari 2018-12-26
I can't believe you took your (((financial advisor))) for his word
1 crefakis 2018-12-26
Lawlz's financial advisor is a guy who lives under a bridge called "Dirty Steve".
1 Momruepari 2018-12-26
he must be an expert then. I take back what I said.
1 AnnArchist 2018-12-26
already did for ya
1 Rusty_Shackelford69 2018-12-26
I have 100% of my retirement in the “Vanguard 500” or whatever. It’s only like $1600 since I’ve only been putting in for a year but still
I have no idea wtf to do lmao. Just gonna let it ride and start transferring some to bonds and get a good % or whatever once shit picks back up
1 Liamdev 2018-12-26
If you don't want to have to worry about it switch to Vanguard's target retirement funds, they change risk profile over time.
The Vanguard funds already use low risk vehicles like Treasuries when there is volatility so no point moving between funds.
1 100_Percent_not_homo 2018-12-26
Imagine doing that instead of the stock index fund when you're not like 60
1 100_Percent_not_homo 2018-12-26
Imagine giving that money to a bunch of Happy bankers instead of just spending it on cocaine
1 Phantom_Engineer 2018-12-26
In other news my silver is doing decently.
1 mcslibbin 2018-12-26
Fiatcucks btfo
1 nanonan 2018-12-26
Stocks are easy, just head to /r/investing and do the exact opposite of what everyone is saying to do.
1 -Shank- 2018-12-26
Unless you are planning on retiring in 6 months, you didn't lose anything. Watching a bunch of millennials shitting their pants over experiencing their first bear market value loss is amusing.
1 jorio 2018-12-26
Is this something you got through your job or something you bought into on your own?
1 MasterLawlz 2018-12-26
Job
1 jorio 2018-12-26
Down 30% and you don't even get to fire anybody, that sucks. Anyway, the typical advice in this situation is to just not look at it.
1 ElonMuskar 2018-12-26
might as well post my rant on a masterlawlz sticky
What the fuck happened to "The Legend of Spyro"? I don't mean the gay-ass Spyro we have now. The current Spyro is a goofy motherfucker akin to Crash Bandicoot. In fact Spyro and Crash were practically in the same universe back in Gameboy days, and nowadays it feels like we're back to that.
Legend of Spyro was something different, as in it was fucking serious. Nothing about it was "goofy" except the occasional joke some character may make (usually the fucking firefly). I think Elemental Night was my favorite game. The game really fucking nailed that fantasy atmosphere (and usually I fucking hate fantasy) and it was really amazing to learn the elements as if you were the fucking Avatar or some shit. And that boss fight at the end was fucking amazing, as it was building up to that moment all along. And it fucking delivered, with that epic fucking music and the "moon eclipse" thing it had going on. You were overpowered as fuck yet it felt satisfying.
And the game was challenging too. The last few levels were actually fucking hard, which is not something you get in the current games. Current games make sure you scale up with the enemy, whereas in The Elemental Night you weren't "scaling up", you were scaling sideways so to speak because you were getting new skills that weren't more powerful, but were unique.
Whatever though I guess I'll try emulating the game. I have no idea where to get a rip of the game though. I'm 90% sure I can't find the CD I used to have.
1 LongPostBot 2018-12-26
Your pulitzer's in the mail
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 ElonMuskar 2018-12-26
I gotta add though, the third game was horseshit. Fuck any game that mentally forces you to play coop. Dead Space 3 was fucked, this game was fucked, and the most recent example I can think of is Ashen, which was fucked even if it didn't have that coop horseshit.