h3h3's Ethan going on a rant about Michael Jackson being a child molester after watching a documentary.

227  2019-03-06 by hatsek

251 comments

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That's what living in a bubble does to you. At least Ethan hasn't started a cult yet like Athene.

You are just a jelly hater. Athene spreads jelly haters on his toasties

This sub is too young for athene references

Just wait a month till destiny does anything BETA so his sub will brigade, then you can comfortably reference athene

You mean like flying to the other side of the planet to have a threeway with a NZ couple?

>imagine being cucked by steven bonnell

On one had, cucking some dude, while having him on stream, making money for you is pretty baller.

On the other hand, flying to the other side of the world for pussy is unparalleled desperation.

Athene was pretty funny for a little while

athene

Who, the irrelevant gamer dude who has like one video with more than 1k views?

I mean, athene predates most streaming services, I remember watching his league streams on justin.tv

He literally had an item named after him for spamming referring in that game

You're vastly underselling his reach

You should do a write up on him

I might tomorrow if I have time. /u/snallygaster probably could do a better job than I could.

Mitch Jones would be a good source of drama/autism as well.

He's been at the top and now than once that's for sure. Crashed real hard too. These kids only know him from Cuckstiny's debates though.

I remember watching his league streams

ew

Whats that guy up to these days? Still living with his greasy fuck buddies and scamming kids?

I Think he has a full on cult now.

Jesus Christ. This is too much boomer autism for me to finish reading.

Based mod

Live, love, /u/xNotch

Boogie in the comments casually suggesting they go get some tranny hookers

What is with this dude

Link?

have you literally never seen sarcasm/a joke before?

Boogie, please

He requires his ~18 year old girlfriends to not bring their cell phone into his house.

Boogie is a lunatic, not news.

Holly shit the levels of autism you need to have to write such a lengthy essay about a bucket of lard.

Yeah I have to agree. I think a lot of that was compiled by multiple people over the years though.

You need autism to fight autism

This is the stupidest shit I've ever read.

Glad I could help

/u/xNotch lmao you should 100% do his podcast and just shit on him the whole time

And tell him to plug /r/drama and bussy during the stream.

Ethan is dumb as fuck and it’s been obvious since forever lol. He constantly does and says stupid shit but it’s always immediately forgotten.

He has grown ass adults as fans that act like poopiepies early fanbase.

Imagine being a sycophant to a fat internet idiot

YouTube was a mistake

poopiepie

haha, what a based and redpilled epitaph for him!

Poopieboy seething that I didn't put proper respect on poopiepie

At least you respect women though, right?

I respect women 5 times a day when I pray to Allah PBUH

Absolutely based and shariapilled

اَللّٰهُ أَكْبَر

Respect the taste out of their mouths.

poopiepies

Please don't use this language. It's mean and nasty and makes my tummy feel icky and gross. Yuck!

I realize it's really problematic

Hang on. Let's unpack that statement.

I find his reaction videos entertaining enough. During his podcast and any time he's going off the cuff, he's awful.

I can't imagine watching his podcast. He's such a boring person, which is why he had to react to wild shit before

I only watched the one with Justin Roiland which was one of the first ones. And that was more than enough to let me know never to watch another one.

So you missed the one where he was spreading neo nazi propaganda or when he got btfo by Billy Blue Balls Burr

One was enough to consider ending it all. Two or more and I might have pulled the trigger.

All you're missing out on is a fat retard talking over his infinitely more interesting guests

I loved when he invited William Osman to the show and threw him in an awkward 20 minute or so segment of the cast and then just tossed him out. Ethan has always struck me as a self-important ass.

Based

Exactly, the podcasts are boring as fuck and I can’t be arsed to care about most of what they talk about

You don't care about a fat idiot talking about shitting and farting every week?

it was good that one time psychicpebbles called in

there’s a lot of overlap, too

well, there used to be, that overlap got mad

Because he's a dude that makes funny videos and he wasn't originally serious and claiming to be intellectual, but now he does have a bunch of kids and watch him and probably have their opinions influenced by him. I might be the only adult that enjoys them, but still. He should be threatened with deportation if he keeps seriousposting those.

I seriously don’t know what happened to Ethan Klein. His reaction videos and skits were what people actually found funny and he just stopped and started hosting a podcast that no one likes. Did he just stop giving a shit?

Dude he lives in rich white people Hollywood off of this kind of thing. There's no reason for him to spend dozens of hours making laborious meme videos, when he can make the same amount of money just literally sitting on his ass in his house talking about the news on camera while smoking cigarettes.

Makes sense to me. I guess I just didn’t know how rich he was.

i don't think he's like, LOADED, but he's doing pretty damn well I'd bet.

at least a couple hundred thousand bucks a year

IIRC, someone calculated he was making 100Kish per podcast, conservatively.

Jesus fuck, that whole world is such a mystery to me

Rich jewish people hollywood*

exactly. it's A. a lot less work to do the shitty podcast and B. he makes more money off it

Does he smoke?

The Sea Monster vid was funny..

i happened to watch that one and it felt a little more back to his roots, yeah

gross tho

The ending was a bit forced and over the top though. Like I get they always do that with their reaction videos but IDK it was just kinda unnecessary.

A podcast gets you more Youtube money for less effort compared to coming up with jokes and stuff for a 10 minute reaction video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t5v5S0UuOg

this is an incredibly long and autistic breakdown of the drama, but it does answer your question.

Basically, the guy in the video ran the ad numbers and looked into Ethan's little media empire and found that per meme video he was making a few thousand dollars off ads and another few thousand off of sponsors, while on each episode of the podcast, he makes upwards of 10k for both ads and sponsors each for much, much lower effort content he can pump out way faster.

In essence, the reason h3h3 sucks now is that Ethan found a way to make a buttload of money doing next to no work, which is obviously better than what he used to do, which was do a buttload of work for next to no money.

I would also imagine half of their original style videos would get demonetized nowadays so the podcasts are also safer and less "stressful" in that regard.

Also they must be the most boring podcast hosts I've ever heard.

Instead of listening to interesting guest, you can listen to fat idiot interrupting the guest constantly and negative charisma girl saying things occasionally. For hours

negative charisma girl saying things occasionally.

I can't say I watched much of their podcast (basically I'd count minutes not hours) but she literally feels like a prop. She just says "yeah" or some basic observations that anyone can think. If she left mid show you wouldn't even notice.

Not much you can do to make pregnant skeletons say things

Ethan is trying to do what Joe Rogan has done. Except Joe Rogan is actually an interesting, smart, funny guy who knows when to shut up and let the guests speak. Ethan straight up isn’t and doesn’t.

Dude joe rogan is 'lmao weed' smart, he just as smart guests sometimes

Joe Rogan is smart

Wow imagine outing yourself as Ethan Klein level moron

Joe Rogan smart

Let's not go too far buddy.

from what I've read, a big reason he made the switch was because the podcast/Twitch make a lot more money.

a lot of his videos on YT were getting demonitized and not generating enough revenue

Apparently it was the Adpocalypse that caused that.

His normal videos weren’t “A D V E R T I S E R F R I E N D L Y”, so the podcast was the more financially logic thing to.

I don’t like Ethan, but I wouldn’t knock him for choosing a stable income over not.

I’m not sure the podcast is sustainable though. I could see the audience slowly dwindling and him losing name recognition over time.

Surely it's much more sustainable than getting every video demonetized.

He never gave a shit. His reaction videos were just him chasing an earlier retarded trend that gave him a lot of money/views.

"funny"

knowing who “Ethan” is and having an opinion about it

>being ignorant of popular YouTubers and being proud of it

Boomers get out!

Zoomer 'culture'

Nah

The amount of jewtubers you can name off hand should be the amount of lashes you get multiplied by 10

Grandpa, I think you forgot your meds today.

zoomer leave

It's even worse: I'm a millennial

But for real, do people seriously think a middle aged man who slept with kids every night in his secret must not enter mansion, sent them love letters, would spend hours on the phones to kids, would go to random kids houses for dinner and has multiple rape allegations against him, wasn’t a pedo?

A people seriously that dumb? Lol

The kids who were said to be victims didn’t seem to think so when they testified

You do realised how messed up sexually abused children are, right? A lot of them suffer from Stockholm syndrome for many years, or too embarrassed to admit it.

What about when they testified in 2005 when they were adults and lied again?

IMO it's probably to avoid backlash/threats/harassment from diehard MJ fans. Imagine if he actually went to prison. Those fans would slaughter them if they saw them on the streets.

probably

So you're guessing?

There may be other reasons why the victims would lie in court. Hence the use of "probably". I'm assuming here, not stating facts.

the accuser in the doc claims that he kinda didn't register it as abuse until he had a child

They might not have thought that MJ deserved to be punished for doing what he did. "MJ had sex with me when I was 9, but it didn't harm me so it's not abuse. He also loved me dearly and helped me out in life."

i feel like there's a lot of reasons you wouldn't want to be out there saying you got molested by MJ

Honestly it's kind of disgusting how ignorant people pretend to be about sexual abuse whenever some famous person is accused of it. Everyone should watch the documentary because the plain facts that it pretends, even absent of their allegations (which are very compelling), are damning. A grown man who sleeps in the same room as little boys? Who talks with them on the phone for hours? Who grows distant when they age and finds another little boy to hang out with?

With all that's been said, I still have to believe that unless someone comes up with literal Video evidence, you can honestly make the case that the man was eccentric and weird, that doesn't equate to pedophilia simply because his behavior was erratic to our knowledge.

The FBI investigated and wiretapped him secretly for 13 years and couldn't find a single shred of evidence he was a kid fucker, that's good enough for me.

According to their website, the allegations were investigated by "California law enforcement agencies" and that the FBI merely "provided technical and investigative assistance".

That's still pretty damn good.

Do you have source on them wiretapping him secretly for 13 years?

He's also a black dude. If the system can't even get a sketchy black dude in America convicted for raping kids, then chances are then there's no evidence.

I think that you can make that case, but it's a lot more contrived than the simple explanation that he was just a fucking pedophile. If literally any other person was known for a sustained pattern of inappropriate behaviour towards boys of a particular age and was then accused by several of molestation, no one here would be concern-trolling about the burden of proof.

You would ifbyou cared to do so and not lock ppl up on things that they may or may not have done

That's the thing: I am very rarely more certain of something than I am certain that Michael Jackson abused children.

Being certain with no actual proof is technically a gut feeling which though may be right many times, can also be wrong

I am exatly as certain that you abused children based on the exact same veracity of evidence that convinced you.

He had a terrible childhood experience so I can believe he tried to reconnect with it by hanging with children.

Mj was raped by his father and wanted to live as the child he never was.

Serious post: abuse victims tend to be notorious at ignoring the abuse. Its why people call it cycle of abuse.

Take a look at general pedo's mo from doing some research and you will see a disturbing trend about how manipulative they are and how they redefine words to new age bullshit, etc.

Nigga this shit happened when they were 9 why did they lie about it when they were adults

They talk about this copiously in the documentary and interview with Oprah afterwards.

They talk about this copiously in the documentary and interview with Oprah afterwards.

Kids are dumb.

People aren't arguing if it is true, inshalla people are arguing if it is wrong

he was also only "friends" with young attractive boys, kicking out girls and fat kids from neverland lmao

young attractive boys

That's an interesting way to describe them. Something on your mind?

Something on your mind?

taxation is theft

They were objectively cute kids lets not act like kids can’t be ugly or beautiful

Most little kids are fucking ugly though, and only beautiful to the ones that secreted their sentient STD out into the world.

So edgy

Whatever dude, the poster above me finds kids sexy I had to find some way to follow that up, it doesn't take away from the fact that most kids are in fact squishy faced monkeys with odd limb proportions.

in fact squishy faced monkeys with odd limb proportions.

Whew! Hes gonna be here all week folks! Top of the line wordy lame jokes! Get em here!

Try all month friendo :]

DarqWolff's alt account.

Right? This is what always blows my mind. Like, we can't find a video of him fucking a child so that means he's innocent? This guy was the most obvious pedo in the world and people acting like he was just innocently sleeping with other people's small children in secret because that's a thing normal adults do.

Like, we can't find a video of him fucking a child so that means he's innocent?

He was investigated for 13 years.

Yes. Because, as we all know, powerful sex criminals never use their influence to evade punishment.

i also fully agree that he was a pedo

i thought it was like widely accepted fact at this point, kind of shocked to see it being so hotly debated.

Because he makes videos of dipping pizza in his ranch covered hair? I don't really put stock into what a fat goof on the internet says. All the puritans mad at him are so cringey. All the people "defending" him aren't much better. (myself included)

Wasn't he the wannabe journalist who did some "explosive" expose on the WSJ or some shit (I don't care enough to remember the specifics) and basically got destroyed when WSJ defended themselves with actual evidence showing how stupid his story was?

I honestly just think he's a stupid person. I don't believe he's really malicious in holding these and other beliefs, but he's just generally uninformed and of low intelligence.

Oh well stopped watching his shit well over a year ago

He’s also a complete snake.

Everyone’s forgotten this, but he tried to fuck over Pyrocynical, trying to push him off the Internet and saying (in DMs) “Don’t give him a platform.” Only to then start kissing his ass once Leafy stopped being useful in one way or another.

He’s a total backstabbing asshole.

Ever since he got BTFO by falsely accusing YouTube of something he never really recovered.

If women make up some story about a rich white man sexually assaulting them, has to be believed. A group of men coming forward about a black man raping them as children, everyone who believes them is retarded.

Are people just now realizing that Ethan is retarded and his podcast blows?

Yeah and what’s with literally every popular youtuber having their own podcast now

Easy money for minimal work

how else can you get that me undies money

Badoop-boop-boop.

Wear em on your fuckin twat

It’s easier than starting a garage band.

Sponsors pay a fuck-tonne more than ad revenue ever did, literally hundreds to thousands for a minute long segment.

Minimal editing or audio fixing. Also if you livestream your podcast you get tons of money. Its this generations form of starting a garage band

YouTube Video: Either short-form Vlogs or have to have some production value, even if it's just making some cuts here and there and using a plug-in to have an intro animation.

Podcast: Throw up a logo and then spew words at a microphone for two hours, possibly while taking audience input. It's interactive, you can stream it, and it requires minimal effort for more overall content.

Guess what the algorithms reward?

no effort required

basically prints money

This is what happens when retards are given an "alternative platform"

Unironically support cable companies for the betterment of humanity

Tbh I think some of the episodes are decent but Ethan's Tim heidecker interview is one of the cringiest things I have ever seen in my life.

My problem is that Ethan is pretty much good at only one thing, which he no longer does. His podcast involves him inviting infinitely more interesting and relevant people on, and then talking over them.

What's the one thing he is good at? I've heard of this guy but I've never seen anything he's made except that one "vape nation" video.

Early H3H3 stuff was pretty funny for its time. But that was back when he was just some guy ripping on stupid shit on the internet. Now he is the stupid shit on the internet.

Thanks, that actually wasn't bad at all.

He was a decent meme video maker

Key words "was" and "decent"

Also he made memes so of course he was always a retard

Was baked af with a friend the first time I saw this vid. We kept rewinding it to the hard cut to Ethan's face right after the intro. That wardrobe choice / look are comedy gold. I think he just started taking himself too seriously and overthinking why people originally gravitated toward him.

He's a genuinely funny person, or can make funny content at least, but he's also an average person who thinks they are a smart person, and he is not nearly smart as a lot of similar people on youtube (idubbbz is much smarter than him).

He's at his best when he's just being a goof. Like, hiking up your undies, putting on a straw hat and shit talking your wife for 10 minutes. idubbbz is more calculated for sure and does probably have more going on in his melon.

He's not really funny on his own. He needs some wild video to react to to make passable content

the Bill Burr one was painful

Fuck my fav podcaster when on h3h3 garbage? Cringe. Ima kms now

Go listen first then kys, It was funny as hell listening to Bill on that podcast.

Don't listen. Bill Burr is so far out of his league it's fucking painful to hear like Momrue said.

Billie Burr pretty much completely dismantled Ethan's persona and shtick. It was brutal.

He’s good when talking to Toutubers about YouTube. As soo. As he stars talking about anything else it goes to shit.

You’re right, most youtubers can really only hold interesting conversations about youtube.

I always find it funny how people act like YouTube is some next gen better version of the old media. Literally compare how uncharismatic, uninteresting, and awkward most youtubers are in any interview versus a traditional celebrity. It’s night and day.

Did you not see his Bill Burr interview? It was even worse

autistic jewish version of joe Rogan

So just normal Joe Rogan?

Joe is an italian caveman bruh

That one where he had the 40 year old virgin and that dude bro pick up artist piece of shit was the only one I've ever watched and it was disgusting. The virgin wanted to find a meaningful relationship and marry someone and the dude bros idea of a relationship was only to get laid. Ethan was either too stupid to realize or didn't care that the pickup advice was completely useless to the virgin but still wanted to fly him out so he can essentially use him for content.

Bill burr ripping on him for asking about his brothers and sisters was hilarious

The best thing to do when your guest doesn't want to talk about something is to keep bringing it up

He isn’t a retard lmao, MJ is indeed a lolicon fan.

MJ stans are just COPEing.

Gonna need a translation to English from Retardation

This is your brain in YouTube

fair, it's been this way for months on end.

honestly, the podcast was never good

Ethan is a one trick pony and he's obviously a huge unironic idiot

i think that's the key. he is unironcally just a dumb, dumb individual

I have just seen this documentary. This secondary source of information made me more smarts than you.

Jew me, sue me, everybody do me

Kick me, kike me, don't you black or white me

We all know why he's being accused of all this. And we also know what tribe Ethan belongs to.

{[(They)]} don't really care about us

The jews made Mike molest those kids?

Listen and believe, right?

Nigga admitted he slept in the same bed as 8yo boys you woke retard.

Didn't know that sleeping in the same bed as someone = molesting them, TIL

Look at mr. Gandhi over here

When you're a 40yo man, and "someone" is a random 8yo boy, then yes. Yes it certainly fucking does.

He had serious issues. That doesn't mean he committed all the things he's been accused of.

>"know your facts fam?" Nice copy pasta - have you by chance seen the documentary?

Is he trying to frame this as "I was merely pretending to be retarded" now? Ethan, very poor job, not proud of you fam, just stop.

here's a video of Ethan admitting he's a libertarian

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDUUNWWKSIs&t=16s

Did ethan rant about the alleged child molester that runs his de facto official subreddit and discord ?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/7zly9a/pb_nerd_owner_of_the_rh3h3productions_subreddit/

(no)

Yeah butt is there a documentary on it?

Like every other comment in that thread has ‘/s’ at the end of it it’s painful to look at

being shocked that h3 fans need an autism tag

🗿🗿🗿

I dropped h3 like a bad habit once that baby was announced. Nothing worse than pregnancy updates, never mind from people I don't actually know.

I faded out of him once there wasn't a sign of him doing the commentary type videos anymore. Seems like all he does nowadays is podcast, look at boring ass subreddits, and shit out catty level Tweets.

i stopped watching their channel over two years ago , it doesnt take long to notice ethan is not that bright and that he is a one trick pony ,now for what i know he is doing political rants to easy to impress 13 year old kids

Dropped them after the pewdiepie backstab

/> unironically caring about YouTuber drama

Shut up, T Series, we know it's you!

brave man to last even that long

i checked out around when the podcast started

wow i am shocked, SHOCKED, that some retard who's only famous for being retarded on camera is actually a retard

So much respect and love to the brave victims and to Oprah for taking this on. The amount of hate and slander they are receiving is horrifying. Love & appreciation to them all.

lmao yeah fucking OPRAH needs your love and respect you fucking no-name, i'm sure she's real upset

Wait I dont get it? Michael Jackson was a pedo.

Who cares, the best artists were either eomen beaters, child fuckers or gay

Seems like literally all of them were and we're only blaming a few of them.

Nothing wrong with being gay tho is it?

No but gay people make good music

or affiliated with SATAN

All three of which are equally bad.

What a surprise coming from jewish nazi.

I love h3h3's old stuff, Just The Right Height No Bucket Required, is hilarious and disturbing, now hes just a fucking mongoloid.

He's not wrong.

I'm out of the loop, what's the deal with MJ all of a sudden?

HBO did a 2-part doc that came out this week where it's asserted he diddled kids and Jacko fans are super-pissed because they're the music-fan equilavent of CTH posters.

Why are there so many retards on reddit defending Jackson?

Michael Jackson is wiythout a doubt a hotter chick than Hila.

Hila is a charisma black hole

you think she would also learn better English eventually

maybe invest your YouTube fortunes in some speaking lessons

I don't even care about that. She just has negative charisma, especially unscripted

Thats actually a perfect description.

Imagine trying to knock MJ for being a paedo when you can knock him for being mayo instead.

*transmayo

Transmayos are mayos.

Are people only now just starting to ser that ethan has a smooth brain?

It's like a billiards ball

the man who quotes goebbels after reading slaughterhouse 5 has retarded opinions about other things

h3h3 used to be funny when they ragged on stupid shit on the internet

they’re the stupid shit on the internet now

Speaking of, whatever happened to LeafyisQueer?

Idubbs killed him.

I mean after that

He remaind dead.

lol they became the content they initially sought out to mock

tbh the people in that thread are even dumber than ethan

"le funny complaining jew"

Klein's a retard, but he happens to be right on this one.

why are so many retards defending mj? no way in hell he's innocent lol

Mjfacts.com read how he acted with these kids. It was like he was dating them

They strip searched Michael & took photographs, and the drawing by the accuser inaccurately described a circumcised penis, which Michael's was not (confirmed by his publicly available autopsy report).

His Potcast wasnt that interesting but the newest video with his face covered in ranch!! thats something i can get behind