So the show has released, and as expected by anyone with a brain, it sucks. However it seems to have sucked more than anyone could have predicted. This might legitimately darn Bethesda lmao.

First, here is a comment from this thread explaining how they absolutely butchered world building (this show is canon btw):

So, in summary, if I understand correctly, these are the major changes:

- Shady Sands got cratered in 2277

- NCR vertibird downed on the strip

- The Strip barricades are gone

- Vault Tec seemed to have caused the Great War

- The Boneyard is no longer a thing

- Shady Sands is in place of the Boneyard

- NCR Rangers are gone

- Aradesh is no longer the founder of Shady Sands (more speculatory)

- Somehow the Brotherhood seemed to have overran the NCR in 2277

What I can't believe is that they actually retconned the original two Fallout games and that nobody won New Vegas. Even more egregious is the lore change with the BoS-NCR war, which retcons THE ENTIRETY OF F:NV. This has to be a new timeline at this point.

TL:DR is they literally retconned the 3 games they didn't make, and then replaced the factions from those games with very special factions they made from the 2 games they developed themselves. This is like a bad fanfiction lol.

People predicably, are mad. Some seethe:

Jesus. I genuinely can't believe I was actually letting myself be excited for the future of this franchise before this release. Completely retconning the original games is genuinely fricking so sad man.

When is it said aradesh is no longer the founder of shady sands?

Also when do we see the ncr vertibird crashed on the strip?

It's never said by Moldaver, but it seems to be implied that she founded Shady Sands in addition to being the remaining NCR leader. This is speculation, and it probably shouldn't be listed as an actual change.

Vertibird: https://i.imgur.com/a/5ygLxmK

So even though it's been established that Shady Sands is in an entirely different state of the new california Republic from the boneyard, they just slapped it right into los angeles, and then they nuked it, why???

What even is a Shady Sands? Has anyone else wondered why they named the first game Fallout 3 by the way? Wacky Bethesda xD

That's not a nuke crater, that's a "Borg scooped up the settlement" crater. This is dumb.

I knee it.

I just knew it.

I prayed it wasnt the case but at any opportunity they had, Bethesda tried to retcon New Vegas and now their efforts... went nuclear.

Hate it. HATE IT. HATE IT.

New Vegas is the Canon version of events. Not some Amazon show.

I fricking knew Todd would frick it over to create their version of Fallout artificially. I fricking hate it. I was fine with a scenario where the NCR loses in Vegas, but to just extensively rewrite the lore of Fallout 1, 2, and New Vegas to jerk off the BoS even more? Fricking dead to me.

Says you, but Bethesda owns the franchise and this is the direction they took. They entirely retconned the fallout games they did not make, and they've succeeded. Next season they'll go and show New Vegas as a dead husk bereft of anything that made it special. Enjoy!

Also, they do not care anymore. They are owned by Microsoft now and exist to make xbox and live games.

Look, I am very good at that. My Canon Star Wars are the old Comic books with sea dragons and Jaxxon the green rabbit. I literally ignored anything that came after that.

So I will need to ignore Bethesda to keep the correct Canon? Boo f#₪#^ hoo. They didnt get even a passable game out in the last 12 years!

I walked the Divide for the NCR, I can ignore Bethesda for them as well.

Haven't watched the show yet as I sail the high seas but this ending sounds very, very annoying. Seems like the show starts off well though but if what I'm seeing here is the case I'll be pretty fricking ticked that they essentially made the West the same as the East in terms of development and that they made NV mean nothing.

NV was entirely retconned. The casinos are literally husks and the city is dead. NCR died when Shady Sands (located in the wrong place) was blown up by one guy.

Christ alive 🤦🏿‍♂️. They should've atleast had some obsidian writers and lorekeepers there to keep things consistent. This is just laziness. I'm not one of those people who thinks Bethesda despises obsidian but like cmon.

It's not laziness. It was a deliberate choice.

Resetting to a status quo of “muh wasteland” absolutely is laziness

Its funny because there is a meme that Bethesda is spite driven because obsidian made a better fallout game than bethesda and the metacritic score 83, 85 thing FNV being retconned is funny knowing the meme

I hate it all.

The NCR was written out as a society entirely. The writers I guess just learned about shady sands and went 'oh its the capital so if we blow it up then the NCR will collapse.'

The NCR was such a good faction, it was the only one that actually grew, that had a familiar functioning postwar society. And what did they do? They nuked them out of existence to show off the brotherhood and a dead, empty New Vegas.

Why, why would they do this.. they could have made it right after the nuking not decades after. They pissed all over the legacy of my favourite game.

I blame Lonesome Road and Chris Avellone.

I can't hold him responsible for this, he had enough sense to know how big the NCR was and how the game world worked. That's why Ulysses wanted to destroy the Long 15 and block them from reaching the Mojave.

To me, Fallout stood apart for being a post-post-apocalyptic story. Just nuking the NCR not only strips away one of the most interesting aspects of the setting but does it, to my eyes, entirely unnecessarily. If you wanted to tell a wasteland story, you could have:

• Set it between Fallout 1 and 2, or even before Fallout 1

• Set it in one of the vast regions of America that are untouched by the games thus far

But no. Fricking why?

I knew this would happen the moment I've heard the name Todd Howard.

It really feels like they asked BETHESDA for the lore, and they said 'oh well you got the Brotherhood of Steel who have this big airship and vertibirds and huge machine guns that can only be wielded in power armor.'

then went 'oh there's this group called the NCR, I think they're from shady sands or something, you can blow them up for shock value it'll be fine. There's also this big place called New Vegas you can turn into a dump too who cares lmao.'

"heh heh heh that'll teach 'em to like obsidian's game more than ours*

Honestly I am becoming one of those people more and more by the minute, especially if their plans for New Vegas next season are what they seem to be.

somehow palpatine returned

So what did house predict then if it was vault tec who dropped the bombs. So Mr house knew the nukes where coming and still couldn't shoot them down or get the plat chip

Also it says shady shands fell in 2277 but new vegas is set in 2281 ?

I guess NV is just entirely retconned in the show? NV is dead, empty. The only places that exist are a half dozen towns outside of the city itself. The casinos are gutted entirely aside from the Lucky 38 which I guess House lives in still? He would be waking up just as the NCR was probing into NV, Caesar's Legion would be on it's way as well. Big MT is still abducting people.. The Brotherhod wouldn't have lost at Helios One but also now have infinite energy so why would they even care?

The entirity of FNV was fought over a dam, water and power.. Now the BOS has infinite clean and renewable fusion.. the NCR doesn't exist either.

So they're using the facade of 1, 2 and NV as a backdrop for more BoS shenanigans from Bethesda's mainline games.

Maaaaan

This is what I was afraid of. A good show based in world building that I think is fundamentally uninteresting.

I'm probably just gonna separate it out as its own thing in my head, no matter how canon Todd says it is.

This is what everyone paying attention was afraid of, but they got shot down as alarmist for daring to suggest the brilliant creative minds behind Starfield might provide a shite backdrop for worldbuilding.

He was in a meeting to know exactly when it would happen and was wrong.. somehow.

Did he not read the memo?

Fallout new vegas mr house : I was able to almost accurately predict a nuclear war and I have set the pieces for my rise to power after I come back online

Tv show Mr House : Shieeeeeeeet I ain't reading all that I'm just gonna pretend I read this

To everyone saying the NCR is totally collapsed.

I highly doubt it. It seems after Shady Sands was nuked the NCR was a bit scrappy but pulling itself together to keep everything afloat, with the BOS destroying the HQ and the view of the NCR leader using the Cold Fusion to power the entire city at once, it shows the civilians of the NCR are still existing at least throughout the entire ruins in some way.

I imagine next season, we're gonna see the BoS biting way more than it can Chew, and something with New Vegas as well, and with the father constantly mentioning something about "Meeting your Creators." How much you wanna bet Mr House is technically still alive? Just New Vegas went into dormancy??

Im excited to see potentially the NCR Regrouping or like Scrappy NCR rebels, and Desert Rangers in the Mojave. I highly doubt the NCR is done and over with from what we saw.

Whatever your opinions on it, retconning NV out of the timeline (which is exactly what they've done) frickin sucks.

Yeah.. But at least it isn't like a straight full on they don't even exist kind of retcon. Seems more like a soft reboot

Hello fellow spoiler fiends who went straight to the end and saw the New Vegas tease. Also, from what I gathered skipping around, the MC's father was a Vault Tec guy who nuked Shady Sands because her mother went there and was having a great time (missed a bunch of dialogue skipping through so that might not be right). The Brotherhood has cold fusion now and the guy in charge seems like a peepee so presumably they will butt up against whoever is now in charge of House's technology.

Dude wtf happened to the NCR? Didn't they say they had most of California pretty much colonized? I'm only on episode 4 but complete radio silence while it takes place near the boneyard and dayglow??

Episode 8 covers it.

It's not pretty.

About 5 years after New Vegas, Lucy's Mom left vault 33 to see if life was back on the surface, taking Lucy and her brother with her, and made her way to Shady Sands, which teleported to LA at some point. Her dad, who was a Vault-Tec executive came after them, stole the kids back, and use Vault-Tec's secret supply of nuclear weapons (The ones they launched to start the great war) to destroy the NCR, as they were a competitor to Vault-Tec.

Also, the ending credits show a destroyed New Vegas, with empty streets full of shattered Secuiritrons and a destroyed NCR Vertibird.

I also wanted to mention this specific comment, because I found it funny:

They also technically retconned FO4 since Kellogg mentions the NCR election.

Note that I'm not cherry picking comments here, basically everyone hates this garbage. Of course the critics love it, but the actual Fallout fans think it's terrible.

As one of the comments already mentioned, they really shouldn't have set this in the West Coast. They should have set it somewhere new for numerous reasons:

• New factions and threats to add a sense of tension and mystery as the viewer wouldn't know anything more than the main character

• Avoid having to retcon or step on the toes of the games

• Keep it in a region that is less advanced so you can have your apocalypse fantasy

• Set the show up as a prequel for Fallout 5, building hype for it even if it's years away.

Expect this thread to be updated as more seethe is posted, this is developing drama. In a few hours we will probably see the hitpieces from journ*lists calling the haters bigots, so keep an eye out for that.

Edit: here are more threads with tons of seethe in them:

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fotv/comments/1bt7fzx/fallout_spoiler_master_thread/?sort=controversial

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fotv/comments/1bt7fzx/fallout_spoiler_master_thread/?sort=controversial

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fallout/comments/1c17tyn/spoilers_about_the_ncr/?sort=controversial

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fallout/comments/1c17mrr/discussion_about_the_ncr_in_the_tv_show/?sort=controversial

dear god this one is maximum cope: https://old.reddit.com/r/Fotv/comments/1c185mn/my_theories_for_season_2_and_possible/?sort=controversial

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fotv/comments/1c15tey/so_does_the_show_take_place_in_an_alternate/?sort=controversial

Triple Murder Parents

Nobody can truly tell us what the meaning of life is, but we see people around us pursue it daily. For some, it is found in the hunt for religion and spirituality - something that means more than the suffering we face. Others proclaim that pleasures are the purpose of existence, and they follow a life of hedonism.

If you want to look at things biologically, our purpose is to reproduce. That is what life has done for millions of years, and reproduction is evidence of your ability to adapt to the current environment.

This seems to be the answer that resonates with most people. This is perhaps the reason why we are so disgusted by the idea of a parent taking the life of a child. Not only it is heinous, but it is also seemingly deeply self-destructive.

Killing your own child is about the most evil crime one can conceive of. Killing two is unthinkable. What about killing 3? Is there even a word for this level of depravity?

As disturbing as it is, it happens. Today, I'd like to discuss two cases of parents who killed three of their children. This will be an extremely graphic post, so be warned.

CHAD DOERMAN

In modern internet culture, the name Chad has come to be associated with a successful, attractive male. The fellow we will discuss next is a disgrace to all Chads.

Chad Doerman lived in Ohio with his wife and their three kids, as well as Chad's daughter from a previous marriage. The children's names are Chase Doerman (3), Hunter Doerman (4), and Clayton Hunter (7).

The family had been going through a rough patch. All relationships do, but this time, it seemed like they were approaching the end of the road. Though Chad is charismatic, he has a few problems in his life. You see, he was a drinker and he also had a mean streak. He also had a temper problem prominent enough for his neighbors to comment on it. They had the following to say:

He was angry every day. There wasn't a day he didn't yell at his wife and kids out there.

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/chad-doerman-neighbours-reveal-behaviour-before-dad-killed-sons/2TYC7DK7XFDRFAPP3GXYBOZPHU

Laura, fed up with the situation, wanted to break up with Chad. Little did she know that this would lead to pure heck being unleashed.

Abuse and manipulation

You see, Chad didn't like the fact that Laura wanted to leave. It appears he is a possessive individual. This is an abusive mindset, and studies have shown that it is typically men who enact it on women to feel powerful.

>Abusive power and control are forms of violence characterized by their continuity, insidiousness, and common prerequisites of intimate partner relationships. They are a pattern of domination through which the abuser uses coercive and controlling tactics, which may or may not involve physical, psychological, or sexual violence, to entrap their victim

>The tactics deployed by the abuser can comprise emotional blackmail, threats, gaslighting, physical force, surveillance, stalking, insults, and other means

>Coercive control may also be extremely subtle and insidious, and depleted of incidents of physical or sexual violence. It can exclusively consist of psychological tactics, such as gaslighting or guilt-tripping, with the common effect that the victim is constantly "walking on eggshells”

>Understanding coercive control prevents interveners from wrongfully focusing on "isolated" events of physical violence, and enables the understanding of abuse as a general, persistent dynamic in a relationship.

The nature of such abuse can be extremely insidious, moreso than violence, as it becomes harder to pinpoint the crime, leaving the victim to feel as though they are responsible for the situation.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abusive_power_and_control

Women, if you are going to leave a relationship, DO NOT LET HIM KNOW UNTIL YOU'RE GONE.

The Murders

One day, Chad came home from work as a sheet metal worker and instructed his wife and three sons to take a nap with him in the bedroom. During this time, the stepdaughter was watching television in the living room. They did so, and when they were asleep, Chad got up and fetched his Marlin Model 70HC .22 rifle from his gun safe.

Pictured above is an example of such a weapon. He returned to the room, put his humanity aside, and shot Hunter at close range. The sinister BANG woke the whole house up, the bang ringing through the hallways. The daughter raced into the room to witness Hunter being shot again, killing him.

She ordered Clayton, the oldest son, to run. As fate would have it, the son, in a panic, ran the wrong way. Had he left through the front door, he might have run into the hands of a helpful stranger. Instead, he ran out the backdoor and into a field where his father chased after him and his stepdaughter. I cannot imagine the horror, confusion, and betrayal Clayton must have felt as he ran away from his own father. No horror movies can capture just how evil this day was. Chad eventually caught up to little Clayton and shot him in the back, causing him to fall. With the stepdaughter as a witness, he then walked up to Clayton and fired a shot in his head at point-blank range. He wasn't done with Clayton just yet. He dragged the body back to the house - Laura had to see what he had done.

The only child alive at this point is Chase, the youngest. Surprisingly, the stepdaughter still had enough wits about her to grab Chase and run away. Chad wasn't done with his demonic deeds, which meant there was still bloodshed ahead. At this point, not even holy water could cleanse his soul. With darkness in his heart, Chad catches up to the stepdaughter, points the gun at her, and firmly demands she place the kid down. She is trembling but she refuses. Not one to be thwarted so easily, he puts the barrel to her head. I'm sure you understand why this was a compelling enough argument for her to do as ordered. She places the baby down, Chris aims the gun at the 3yo's head and pulls the trigger... but he is out of bullets.

Chase took this opportunity to run back to the yard where Laura was trying to administer CPR to Clayton on the front lawn. This is probably the saddest part. The child was so young that all they knew was that home equals safety. They were unable to uncouple that association, even when his siblings were getting shot in that location. That would be the last choice Chase makes.

Chad returned to the house as the stepdaughter ran away. After reloading his gun, he took Hunter's body from in the house and lay it outside next to Clayton who Laura was still futilely trying to resuscitate. At this point, Chad and his wife got into an altercation so intense that Chad had to bite her. She put her thumb over the barrel and he pulled the trigger, injuring her.

With Laura injured, there was nobody watching over Chase. Chad walked up to the defenseless 3yo and shot him twice in the head. It was like blasting a mosquito with a bazooka. Following this he sat by his front door, his rifle beside him, as he watched Laura try to save her children.

Meanwhile, the stepdaughter runs down the road and tells a few neighbors she passes that her father is killing everyone. They call 911 and the stepdaughter eventually stops at a fire department where she sends help to her house.

When the police arrive, they apprehend Chad, who does not resist and has a bloodstained shirt. Laura is heard screaming for her children as some police futilely try to do something for the children and their mangled bodies. The cops are visibly disgusted by him, and when Chad tries to talk to one of them, he is told to shut up. You can watch the bodycam footage here.

He appears in court, looks a little shell-shocked, and cries at one point. Nevertheless, he is entirely lucid.

What is the point of discussing a motive? There can be no excuse for such evil. You can read the police documents on the case here:

https://web.archive.org/web/20230714200303/https://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/23875104/doerman-bill-of-particulars.pdf

JESSICA MCCARTY

When women kill, they tend to go for babies. It is estimated that women kill their own children at the same rate as men do. To understand how significant this stat is, remember that men are responsible for 98% of all murders. In short, women almost exclusively kill babies - their own - and any other types of murders from women are extreme exceptions.

>However, one of the most recent comprehensive national filicide studies in Australia documented 238 cases between 2000 and 2012. This study mirrored trends elsewhere, with male and female perpetrators represented in roughly equal numbers.

>In cases where children are killed intentionally, women are more likely to kill babies and newborns, particularly in circumstances of unwanted pregnancies. Such offenders are more likely to be young and have low levels of social support, although it is increasingly reported among older women.

https://theconversation.com/men-and-women-kill-their-children-in-roughly-equal-numbers-and-we-need-to-understand-why-153527

Jessica McCarty had once been married to Philip McCarty, and they had two children - Phillip and Lacey McCarty. The marriage did not last long, and she eventually divorced and entered a relationship with Christopher Swist. They had one child named Christopher Swist. This might be a hard case to follow because, as you'll notice, we have two Phillips and two Chrises.

Jessica's life wasn't going well. Jessica had a drug problem, and she was poor despite Philip giving her money to help her. Worst of all, Christopher had found a new girl named Brandy! Jessica was filled with burning jealousy and dissatisfaction with her own life. She wanted an out, and she was willing to take her children with her.

One day, while Christopher was at work, he received a phone call from Jessica. She tells him that something bad has happened and he needs to come home. If that wasn't alarming enough, he then sends him a picture of a bloody kitchen floor. Christopher calls his mother who races him home as he calls 911. Nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to witness.

We don't know what order things happened in, but we do know the following:

Young Philip was in the living room with a cord wrapped around his neck. Baby Christopher was found in bed with a cord around his neck. Lacey was found dead in her bed, but she was soaking wet and had cuts on her knees and the back of her head. For some reason, the bath had water in it and the shower glass had shattered, indicating a struggle.

Jessica had cuts all over her, and she was bleeding profusely as she clutched a knife. Upon witnessing this horror, Christopher attempted to rescue his infant son. He could do nothing. Lacey and Philip died that day. Christopher died two days later.

Jessica was intending to die as well. She left a suicide note which spoke about her dislike of Christopher's infatuation with Brandy. She also wrote the following:

>Please remember all of the horrible and disrespectful things you said when you go for the jugular. Those words never leave me, I'm so sorry to put my family through this but I'm not worth living. I suck at life

Fate would not let her escape the consequences of her actions so easily. Though she had attempted to bleed herself dry, doctors were able to save her. She stood trial and claimed mental illness. When asked about the crimes, she claims she does not remember them. This results in a pretty intense screaming match between her and a lawyer attempting to question her.

She was found guilty and received life in prison at age 33 in 2015.

CONCLUSION

There is nothing more unnatural than a parent killing a child, yet here we are. It is a sad reality that there are so many that will attempt to conceive and fail, or remain incels their whole life. Yet those blessed enough to be given the gift of reproduction chose to make such sordid choices.

I like to end these posts with a lesson that can be learned, but there is nothing to take from this chaos. The world is cruel, and an inordinate amount of love and support is needed for anyone to make it through the evil that we will all surely face. Best of luck and enjoy the rest of your week!

It's good. It's actually really good. Let's discuss some of the themes the movie brings up. I'm quite surprised to see so many online calling it feminist garbage. It was actually a refreshing take on modern gender relations.

1. Men and shame

Although the movie is about Barbie, it pays plenty of attention to Ken as well. He is Barbie's sidekick, and he is constantly trying to get her attention. He goes to the real world and he discovers patriarchy, and he is immediately in love with it. After a lifetime spent in Barbie World, for the first time, he is introduced to the idea of male supremacy. In many ways the Barbie/Ken relationship is somewhat abusive, with Barbie not making the nature of the relationship clear to Ken ever. It is clear Ken is enamoured of Barbie, and Barbie allows this to continue despite the feelings not being reciprocal.

Situations like this happen constantly in real life. Unfortunately, we seldom hear about it because men are shamed when they are abused by women. In Abused Men by Phillip Cook, this is discussed.

How many of these red flags are in your life? How many make an appearance in Barbie (2023)?

2. Machoism

Ken wants to win Barbie's heart, and he does so by trying to appear macho and catch her attention. Machoism is a common burden placed on men. It is considered to be an essential component of heterosexual attraction. However, as the movie illustrates, there are harmful aspects to machoism and they affect both men and women. Let's turn back to Cook.

3. Idealized Womanhood

The central issue in Barbie is that too much is expected of women. Oftentimes, the demands are completely contradictory. Nietzche is often portrayed as being anti-feminist and misogynistic. However, many scholars have instead argued that Nietzche is tearing down this idealized image of womanhood, which is what Barbie (2023) aims to achieve as well.

4. Shunning of victimhood

Despite discussing women's issues in depth, the movie never portrays women as victims. In this way, it stays true to the history of Barbie as a representation of the potential and capabilities within each girl. As Kajsa Ekis Ekman explains in Being and Being Bought:

I would like to criticize this for a moment. Sometimes, it is necessary to accept your victimhood. Only then can you begin the healing process. Relieve yourself of the burden! Admit that you've been hurt and made to feel weak! stop holding the secret in.

5. Vagina and womanhood

The movie ends with Barbie visiting a gynecologist. This is noteworthy because she chose to become a real woman, which would mean she would gain genitalia, which she explicitly stated she did not have prior. Why is the vagina so intrinsically tied to womanhood? Why does Barbie only become a real woman once she has a vagina? Is a woman reducible to her s*x organs?

I don't have answers, but it is worth thinking about. Also consider how, as Ekman argues, modern women in s*x work view the Self as separate from the vagina.

6. Buying women

The movie jokes about the fact that Ken lives in Barbie's shadow. There is something quite interesting about this, however. It is normal and common for Barbie to be bought. Yet the idea of buying Ken never catches on in the movie or in real life. I believe this ties into how we view men and women. Women are commodities that are bought and sold. This occurs in s*x work, in the pornification of media, and in the unpaid labour of the domestic domain.

Though Barbie has no doubt inspired many women, it is worthwhile to remember that there are real women who are bought and sold every day. Their reality is far from glamorous.

It is also worth noting that Barbie LIKES being bought and sold. This is perhaps the biggest gripe I have with the movie. Though Barbie (Margot Robbie) chooses to be a real woman, the rest of the Barbies remain as dolls despite knowing of the existence of the real world. They're explicitly choosing to remain commodities to be played with, and they love it! Every day of being an object is paradise for them. In many ways, this parallels the myth of the "happy hooker" who loves being bought and sold for s*x.

Sorry for the sloppy piece, I'm writing this before bed after watching the movie. In closing, I really enjoyed Barbie (2023). Although there are some criticisms to be waged against its handling of feminist issues, it was surprisingly more competent than I was expecting. If you're looking for a laugh and some light-hearted adventure go for it. If you're looking for a perfect feminist piece, look elsewhere. My biggest compliment is that it manages to handle gender relations in a way that adequately explains some of the issues that modern men face beyond simply "man scared to cry" e.g. how to relate to women, how to deal with a society where gender power dynamics are shifting. I think men will find it surprisingly meaningful.

BONUS: Google the word "Barbie" for some fabulous!

I can't take this shit anymore. I've been playing online RPGs with this guy for three years now and yet, somehow, EVERY CHARACTER HE EVER MAKES IS ATROCIOUS. There's bad characters, like obvious fetishes. Khaoskid's characters are something different. They are inspired in their awfulness. Let me go over some of my least favorites with you.

Sans Undertale

• System: D&D 3.5e

• My status: DM

Sans Undertale was a Bone Creature template Dwarf. His class was Truenamer. For those of you who do not know, Truenamer is the worst class Wizards of the Coast put to paper. Rules as written, it doesn't work. The difficulty of use for their truenaming powers grow exponentially as they level. Sans was optimized to heck and back in order to be even slightly useful. Outside of his ridiculous character name & art, he was actually a useful member of the party. I am simply amazed that this man played as a solo-classed truenamer for multiple years over the course of a level 1-20 D&D 3.5e campaign, and survived. Also he carried around a body pillow of Shinji's Right Hand everywhere he went.

Kasan Eteto

• System: D&D 3.5e

• My status: Player

Kasan Eteto was a succubus, using the Savage Species monster class. She had taken the Vow of Nonviolence and the Vow of Peace feats. This means she was forbidden from fighting any living creatures. She was an extremely talented diplomat, at least. She also went into Apostle of Peace once she finished Succubus' progression. Like Sans, she wasn't so much disruptive as she was shocking. Using Savage Species is insane. Using Apostle of Peace is insane. Combining the two is even more insane. In a strange act of self-awareness, Khaoskid realized he hates playing female characters and had Kasan kill herself. This is the only time he's ever played a female character. Her art has been lost to time, but she was literally just Kasane Teto.

The Mathemagician

• System: GURPS 4e

• My status: Player

The game was a light-hearted fantasy game. When we got into our first fight, the Mathemagician cast his first spell: Math Beam. We all asked him how it worked. He told us how much damage it did, and said "math." It wasn't terribly strong so we shrugged it off. Until he told the GM that he was casting it again, on the same turn. Then again. Then again. It turns out, he took Lightning Calculator, a trait that lets your character perform math instantly. Since Math Beam is cast by solving an equation, he could cast an infinite number of Math Beams per turn. The GM ended the game after that first fight.

John Matrix

• System: GURPS 4e

• My status: Player

The game was a Jojo's Bizzare Adventure game. John Matrix was a high school IT guy who thought he was a hacker. He had a Wildcard skill called "The Matrix" that could do anything. Literally any roll the GM asked for, he would simply use The Matrix in place of the normal skill. His stand was "Fear of the Dark." It was the creature from the album's cover, and it was extremely physically powerful. It also projected an aura of darkness that no light or sight could penetrate, not even John Matrix. It was also an independent stand, and evil. He could not de-manifest it. Against all odds, he made it to the end of the game. Khaoskid then warned me that if I ever ran Mage: the Ascension, he would play John Matrix as a Virtual Adept.

Jimmy Hoboken

• System: GURPS 4e

• My status: Player

The game was a Zoolander X JJBA game. All of our characters had to be male models. Jimmy Hoboken was a body positivity model. He was fat, r-slurred, and useless. His stand was Fat, which could eat any material and did a ton of damage with its bite. It ended up being very useful, as it could eat holes through walls and ruin the GM's dungeon designs. He ended up growing 30 feet tall and turning into a woman after playing a cursed game show. He died after rolling a nat 1 on the Die of Fate.

John & Monkey

• System: GURPS 4e, Call of Cthulhu 7e

• My status: GM

The game was initially titled "Black Friday Shopper Simulator 2021," and was in GURPS. The party's goal was to get the last Game Bronus at their local shopping mall, and to kill anyone who got in their way. Eventually, the game morphed into a Call of Cthulhu 7e game where the party were special agents for the United States Department of Unusual Incidents, and were stealing anomalies from the SCP Foundation. John is just an ordinary guy who is really, really good at biking. He knew special moves like "Bike Jump" and "Bike Spin." His skills impressed Jeff Bezos, who hired him to babysit his pet monkey, Monkey. Monkey is incredibly rich and has a smart phone. Somehow, the two are an effective duo, are still alive, and haven't driven me to end the campaign. Like Sans and Kasan, they are insane character ideas, but surprisingly functional.

Scholar

• System: D&D 3.5e

• My status: DM

The game is set in the Eberron setting. Scholar is a warforged artificer. He's mostly functional, but has made some deranged magical items. Most notable is his Wand of Locate Bars. It does exactly that: magically locate nearby stores that serve alcohol. Also he's useless during fights, as his signature move is to use a Scroll of Tree Form to turn himself into a tree for an hour. Mercifully, last April Fool's Day, I let all of my players draw from the Deck of Many Things. Scholar drew "Donjon" and was sent to the Lair of the Keeper.

Thrikeepagh Dhakaan

• System: D&D 3.5e

• My status: DM

To replace Scholar, Khaoskid made Geldrin d'Kundarak. Geldrin is actually a good character. His cohort, Thrikeepagh, is not. Thrikeepagh is a blue (psychic goblin subrace) weretoad. He has no class. Every time he levels up, he takes another toad hit die. Toads fricking suck. They have no attacks. Their movement speed is 5 feet. In order to move faster, Thrikeepagh took the Speed of Thought feat, which increases your movement speed by 10 feet if you are psychic. This is why he's a blue. He has no combat ability, and his only support traits are being able to turn into a toad. At the very least, he's relatively tough since werecreatures resist damage from non-silver weapons.

Gary Ryals

• System: Motholam

• My status: Player

Motholam is an AD&D retroclone. Gary Ryals was a fighter who refused to use weapons, and fought with his bare hands. Motholam has no martial arts system, so he sucked. While we were exploring the swamp, Gary picked a fight with a friendly giant toad. It swallowed him whole then swam away.

Utyronimar

• System: Motholam

• My status: Player

My character in the Motholam game we were in was Utumar the Somniferous, a wizard.

Khaoskid thought Utumar was really cool, so after Gary died, he made his new character Utyronimar.

Tavish McBane

• System: Vampire: the Masquerade, 20th Anniversary Edition

• My status: Player

Tavish' clan was McBane and his Generation was 1st. He was not a vampire. He was a 1st generation Scottish immigrant. He did not use any supernatural powers. He just cut vampires limbs' off with a claymore. Khaoskid would constantly speak in a shitty Scottish accent and pretend to be drunk, and would constantly pick fights with the other players and random bums on the street. The campaign ended when the party broke into the local Tremere's chantry. We had a few newbies playing with us. The newbies thought they were badasses and died horribly. Tavish and my character survived. The newbies quit the game, and the GM didn't feel like running for two insane people.

Yukio Noguchi

• System: Vampire: the Masquerade, 20th Anniversary Edition

• My status: Storyteller

When Khaoskid proposed playing as a Kuei-jin in a V20 game, I knew it was a bad idea. I didn't realize just how bad it was. Yukio Noguchi was a Devil Tiger, meaning his dharma required him to make people suffer. He was an expert martial artist, so he would just pick fist fights with people, beat them up, then torture them. He was also an overweight Japanese salaryman. I ended the game after zero (0) of my players came up with even slightly reasonable characters.

Nikolas Heidinger

• System: Vampire: the Masquerade, 20th Anniversary Edition

• My status: Storyteller

The follow-up game to the game with Yukio Noguchi, I instructed my players this time to come up with reasonable characters. Nikolas is so, so close to being one. He's a 10th-generation Tremere. He's loyal to the Pyramid. He doesn't breach the Masquerade. So what's the problem? He has dementia. The Tremere found him too late, and Embraced him while he was in his nineties. Now, he can learn Thaumaturgy, but still forgets his name. He is perhaps the most destructive character Khaoskid has ever played, because he's the most subtle. He's not literally Sans, nor does he run around with a claymore in the streets of Chicago, but he's still terrible. Like a real demented old man, he wanders away from the coterie while they're preoccupied with something. Whenever he gets a chance to talk, he rambles for minutes, if not hours. If this character was my first experience with khaoskid, I would fully believe he is a demented old man in real life too. His ability to waste time is unreal, and can only be truly understood if experienced first-hand.

!enemiesofkhaoskid This is why I hate him. He sucks so much.