Ok, first of all I should actually give props to anyone who had the balls to post in there. Even good writers are easy to make fun of if you strip out the context, and it takes a lot of confidence to put yourself out there.
Now that I've taken care of that, let's dunk on some teenage edgelords to feel better about ourselves.
Thread playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUS3ENV1wbK81HyDVTHEolZT_kDEnHtxP
Shuffle for a randomized reading experience.
Professional quotes will be graded on a scale of 1-5 knives.
"No law but survival, no god but us."
Edgy but a tad generic. Feels like it could be from anywhere.
Rating: πͺ πͺ
"The dead do not need more company." Another one from the same scene is "We fight. We fight until we're wasted into nothing." Gave me chills the first time I wrote them out for the battle scene
How about we waste them into nothing?
Rating: πͺ πͺ πͺ
that second line gave me chills too, amazing cook woah
At least he's finding an audience.
"If we cannot survive, we'll make the work of destroying us as difficult as we can."
I refuse to believe this is the best line in your story. At least he didn't say "unaliving."
Rating: πͺ
"It's not easy to explain, exactly, but I suppose I knew somehow that my life wasn't going to end up how I wanted, no matter what. Better, then, to just get it over with, to go out with a spectacle that will have everyone watching, feeling my heartbreak long after I'm gone. I may die, but I will live forever in this story."
This is about either shooting up a school or killing yourself, but regardless it's very deep.
Rating: πͺ πͺ πͺ
A line said by the villain of my book. "As the clock strikes twelve, the hands of fate begin their dance anew. Everything is aligned as it should."
As bad as Marvel quips are, you have to remember they were a reaction to this.
Rating: πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ
Peace?! Is that what you desire? Then you are no different from any other conqueror. Peace is when there are no wars. Peace is when everyone gives up hope and stops resisting. (The speaker points a finger at the heart of the listener and almost touches them.) Peace is when evil has won and conquer you all."
So what do you think?
I too inspiration for this from the movies Star Wars. I watched them years ago so I can't remember details but I remember that Darth Sidious was like talking about an important task that would be a great victory for the empire and he said "Only then there would be peace." By "then" he meant when they conquer everything.
...And that's why I bombed that hospital.
Rating: πͺ πͺ
"Fine. If everyone wants me to be the villain, than I might as well become one." or "You humans are so funny. All you do is create the very things you fear." Have to be my favorite ones I've come up with (I watched too many villain quote things).
Which is why your writing reads like a GPT slurry of trailer quotes. There's just nothing here.
Rating: πͺ
"I will make you beg for wrath of the Gods" says a priest to an atheist to which he replies "then let your false idols cry in ineptitude"
I want to honor the bravery, but this just feels like failed parallelism.
Rating: πͺ πͺ πͺ
As human was his outer shell, Beast was his inner
Short and to the point.
Rating: πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ
"A deer can never understand why a wolf wants to chase it down instead of eating the grass"
Okay no cap I actually really like this one
Rating: πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ β
"Second this coffee was poisoned wasn't it? The taste seemed off so I recognized it as poison , it would have worked on a normal person butβ¦". He tossed the cup to side as it shatters on impact "Im not a ordinary man"
Frick, he tasted the oat milk.
Rating: πͺπͺπͺπͺ
"I'm many souls put together but none of those souls are mine."
How I feel about all my online personas
Rating: πͺ πͺ
!edgelords !writecel !bookworms
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So this is at Phu Bai c. 1970. This guy is extremely yellow and fricked up, he said this is basically the most sick he's ever seen anyone. They parade him out in front of everyone and say it's his fault because he didn't wash his hands enough before flies away. It's literally over a mile to running water from where these guys worked. Kinda summarizes the whole officers not really giving a shit thing that was so rampant in that war.
It's the most typical bureaucratic victim blaming bullshit ever. My dad only ate Chungking canned chow mein from the PX for the rest of his tour. Talk about fricking generational trauma, he did that to me too.
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man, I remember the Chun king brand. I feel old now since apparently it's been gone for 30 years
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