1. How to stoically forgive myself after a hanging attempt? 🥺🥺🥺

How to Stoically forgive myself for attempted suicide?

My health problems felt so hopeless that I believed I had no other option but to end my life.

So, I spent four nights trying to hang myself. (Partial suspension with foot/bum/knees always on the ground.)

It didn't work, and now I'm only in greater shame, self-hate, and health anxiety for what I did.

I'm paranoid that I have neck/brain damage. I went to the hospital (they did no scans) and then later got a carotid artery ultrasound from my GP - which came back perfect, yet I'm still in deep fear that the neck pain will never go away and will be a constant reminder of this shameful decision. What makes it worse is that I did this to myself. Suddenly, my other health problems don't feel so bad.

I'd love some help forgiving myself and believing the doctors that I will be okay and the pain will go away.

Since doing this four weeks ago, I'm terrified that this will define the rest of my life. Especially if the pain never goes away.

2. Is my neck okay after hanging attempts? 😰😰😰

Is my neck okay after hanging attempts?

I am deeply ashamed and won't try this again, but I tried to hang myself for several nights. I tried partial suspension hanging - meaning my feet, bum, or knees were always on the ground.

I went to the hospital, and they did no scans and said I was okay.

I also went to my GP who ordered a carotid artery ultrasound and that came back perfect.

Does this mean I escaped any long term neck or brain damage?

Or do I need to get an MRI or other tests?

As all I can think about is that I'll have to suffer the pain of this terrible mistake for life. Which is making life heck.

I'm terrified my neck will never be the same again.

3. Would a neck MRI clear me from hanging injuries? 😱🤔🤔

Male. 42. 85kg. 183cm.

Anxiety and depression.

Valium.

I'm in deep shame and paranoid that I've ruined my neck for life after attempting partial suspension hanging (I always had my feet, bum, or knees on the ground) over several nights. I never passed out.

I went to the hospital, and they did no scans or tests. But my GP did a carotid artery ultrasound, which came back clear.

But since then I still have neck pain (along with other symptoms like ear and swallowing pain) and extreme anxiety, so I'm wondering if a neck MRI is the best test to clear me of everything I'm worried about completely - so I can finally get back to living.

Thank you for your time. I've been living in pure fear and regret since. I'm very sorry.

4. How do you still enjoy life with Peyronie's Disease? 😞😞🍆❌

Since getting this disease I have not been able to enjoy a second of life. Having this disease with all the shame that goes with it has destroyed me. And now that I also have pain, I have no idea if having a life worth living is possible. I know I ask a lot of everybody on here, but I'd love to know how those who manage to still have a life worth living with Peyronie's Disease manage to do so. What are your secrets? As I keep seeing suicide being my best choice to be done with this cruel curse.

5. Psychologist said Peyronie's Disease is so bad that no therapy could help 🤒😮😮‍💨

I'm very much hoping she is wrong.

But as said in the title, my new psychologist said that she thought Peyronie's Disease was simply too devastating of a disease for any type of therapy to help men cope.

It made me feel ever more doomed - and basically confirmed it's all over, with suicide being the only medicine.

6. Best easy-to-understand Stoicism books on Audible? ☺️☺️🎧

I have a lot of Audible credits, so I'm looking to spend them on some great and easy-to-understand Stoicism books. Likely suited to a beginner.

I'm after guided books like How to Think Like a Roman Emperor rather than the straight texts.

As I need all the help I can get trying to understand all this!

7. Why has no cure been found for Peyronie's Disease? 😤😤😡

What makes this curse so darn impossible for medical science to treat? Also, are people currently working on new treatments? Or has the medical community given up all hope?

8. Need help coping with an extremely embarrassing disease 😭😭🏳️‍⚧️✅

Sorry to reach out like this, but my own reading and journaling doesn't seem to be working - so I'd love some advice from you lot on how to use Stoicism to cope with a disease that I feel has completely ruined my life.

It's called Peyronie's Disease, which has left my peepee bent and unusable. It's notoriously difficult to treat. And it's not something you can talk with anybody about.

My thinking problems are that I no longer feel like I'm a man, I feel like my life is completely ruined and is not worth living anymore, I feel that I'll be forever alone, and I worry that this will never be healed - and that I'm cursed for life and broken.

I also keep having thoughts that no man would carry on living with a disease like this.

Again, sorry for the rant, but I'm desperate to find some Stoic relief if that's possible.

9. Does caffeine tablets cause diarrhoea like coffee? 💩💩💩

Struggling with long-term carnivore diarrhoea so cut coffee. Wondering if I can take caffeine tablets, or they cause diarrhoea too?

10. Basic one I'm stuck on. How can I possibly be happy with horrible illnesses? 😞😞😞

I'm new here and have been reading “how to think like a Roman Emperor” as well as watching Einzelgänger on YouTube.

For a bit I thought I was making mild progress.

Perhaps I'm just tired, but today I was bombed by the thought that my chronic illnesses 100% prevent me from being happy, so I'm excluded from the benefits of Stoicism. I was stuck and couldn't seem to find anything that I've read so far to help me out.

However, I'm sure I'm missing something very basic here and I would love some help finding relief and getting back on track.

Thank you!

11. Sticky, dark poops. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 (I'm sorry but this is just too many emotions to put in 3 emojis)

I'm 34 days in.

I only pass stools every three days or so, but they are now dark and incredibly sticky/impossible to wipe, requiring a shower.

They are also soft, small little nuggets. Which I guess is better than the diarrhoea it's been since day one?

Wondering if this is okay/normal and I'm fine to keep up this WOE and things will right themselves eventually?

Thanks all.

12. Anyone treat Peyronie's disease with carnivore? 💪💪💪

I know this is a long shot, but I'm wondering if anybody had or has heard of people have any success treating Peyronie's disease with carnivore? As it does sound like the disease is from inflammation.

12 (Extended) Here's a short explanation of the disease:

What is going on? - If you have Peyronies, you have a condition that caused your body to replace normal elastic tissue in your peepee with non-elastic scar tissue called plaque. It has no association with plaque in your arteries or elsewhere in your body. You have Peyronies when your body forms scar tissue in the peepee in places where it is not needed to heal a wound. It replaces normal elastic tissue, often far from any injury, and it can cause deformity, much like putting a piece of Scotch tape on a balloon and then blowing it up. The resulting deformity can be a bend, narrowing or dent, or shortening of the peepee. If you have scar tissue at the site of real damage on the peepee that is NOT Peyronies Disease. That is a normal healing process as long as the scar tissue does not spread over healthy tissue. Be aware that most bends are just natural variations from one peepee to another and are not Peyronies Disease. A peepee is seldom perfectly round and straight any more than noses are all the same shape.

14. Can carnivore help fibrosis conditions? 😞😮☺️

I'm trying to treat Peyronie's Disease, and unfortunately there's VERY little treatment options.

So, I'm hoping going carnivore could be the silver bullet to treat fibrotic conditions like this.

15. Starter stack for treating peyronie's disease 🤣😂😆😄😃😊☺️🙂🤭🤨😒🤔🧐😐😑😕🫤🙁☹️😧😦😮😯😲🫨😵‍💫😵😰😨

I'm going to be proactive and get started on treatment while I wait to see a urologist.

Is there anything I'm missing? I would love your thoughts on my battle plan.

SUPPLEMENTS

CoQ10 – 400mg daily

L-Arginine – 3 grams daily

Acetyl L-Carnitine – 3 grams daily

Taurine – 1.5 grams a day?

K2 and D3 – once a day capsule.

DRUGS

(Also, I'll ask my GP for:)

5mg Cialis.

Pentox.

LIFESTYLE

Carnivore diet (zero carbs)

Daily walks.

No smoking.

No alcohol.

CONSIDERING

I'm now thinking of adding:

Ginkgo Biloba

Silymarin

Bilberry

Propolis

OTHER

I'll wait until I see the urologist before starting any traction/stretching/vacuum therapy.

!r-slurs our god has arrived

First of all I'm going off on information about Krayon (sister toucher) that was already divulged by Carp and FroCho

This from the post here: https://rdrama.net/post/257327/apparently-the-user-who-dropped-users (Archive)

And this from the comment here: https://rdrama.net/post/257327/apparently-the-user-who-dropped-users/6185775#context (Archive)

So what we know know is that Krayon (sister toucher)'s allegedly named "Grant Simmons" and 952-378-7642 is his phone number

So we do a little reverse phone look up using https://www.numlookup.com/ for his number and we get "Patrick Simmons" who has the same last name. Probably a father or uncle or brother?

Area code for 952 is Minneapolis/St-Paul

When you do a search for "Patrick Simmons Minnesota"...

You get articles about some dude in St Paul who has a history of abusive behaviour towards his girlfriend stabbing her and setting her on fire killing her

Article: https://www.twincities.com/2022/03/16/woman-killed-in-st-paul-had-incredible-spirit-friend-says-in-fundraiser-for-3-daughters/ (Archive)

Simmons returned to his Bloomington home, set it on fire and drove away, the complaint said.

Co-workers went to Simmons' residence and discovered him parked nearby, and they flagged down police who were responding to the area. Officers arrested Simmons.

He had blood on his clothing, his face was covered in soot, and his facial hair and eyebrows were singed.

Simmons told investigators that Goodermont “was a witch and he did this to stand up for the babies being killed and sacrificed with witchcraft,” the complaint said.

He said he threw gasoline on Goodermont and lit it with his lighter. Police asked where he got the gas and he replied, “I got the gasoline at my house. So, yeah, it's premeditated.” He said he burned his house “because there was paranormal activity going on there.”

Last summer, Simmons was the subject of a petition for civil commitment and a court document said he was hospitalized for psychosis and receiving treatment at the time.

No attorney for Simmons, who is being held in the Ramsey County jail, was listed in the court record as of Wednesday. He is charged with second-degree intentional murder.

And if you really noootice they have the same hair colour, curly hair, facial structure and features:

We know from the articles that Patrick Simmons did a murder around March 2022

And Krayon (sister toucher) was texting FroCho using that number around September 2021 (Source: https://rdrama.net/post/14661/the-autists-last-sperg-krayon (sister toucher)-sister - Archive) when she was forced to post his "manifesto"

And based on his DMs to the jannies he seems hyperfocused on his daddy

So in a nutshell:

• phone number he texted users on this site from is registered to a Patrick Simmons

• area code shows Minneapolis/St Paul in the state of Minnesota

• googling "Patrick Simmons Minnesota" gives you articles of some guy murdering his girlfriend by stabbing and setting her on fire

• same hair colour, curly hair, facial structure, features

• same brand of lunacy

• Krayon (sister toucher) having daddy issues based on his DMs to the jannies

• timeline fits

!metashit

Please disprove me because

deep breath

Spoilers for a 20 year old TV series & TW for special interest 'tism...

The creator/showrunner/lead writer of Gilmore Girls was Amy Sherman-Palladino (ASP), and she's the main person responsible for the unique cozy vibe and fast-paced, reference-heavy dialogue of the original series. She's also something of a crazy control freak who had a very particular predefined arc in mind for the show, one that would highlight the parallels between Rory and her mother and grandmother, Emily (the 3rd Gilmore Girl). For years fans heard about the mysterious "final 4 words" that she already knew would end the series. She's like the opposite of the GoT showrunners who had no idea how the frick they were going to wrap up the ending.

ASP may be a stubborn b-word but she's a good writer with strong hat game

Except... ASP was forced out after the penultimate sixth season of the original run in a contract dispute with the network, the details of which have always been hazy. Toward the end of the sixth season, ASP added a bunch of zany plots (e.g. Lorelai throwing herself at Rory's deadbeat dad, Christopher) that almost seemed like a vindictive attempt to sabotage the show on her way out the door. The new show runners dumped into the thick of it for the seventh season did their best to tie up all the bizarre loose ends, and in doing so they moved away from the predestined fatalism of ASP's original arc - the theme of which could be loosely summed up as "no matter how you try to run away from it, you always grow up to be your mother."

Spoiled douchbag boyfriend, meet spoiled douchebag dad

For example, ASP always had in mind that Rory's rich, spoiled boyfriend, Logan, would be "her Christopher," a dissolute playboy who toys with her heart, knocks her up, and ultimately abandons her - but during the final season without ASP, the writers moved away from that storyline: Logan becomes estranged from his wealthy family, he has to stand on his own two feet, he exhibits personal growth. By the end of the series, he's ready to commit; he doesn't abandon Rory, he wants to marry her, but she decides she's not ready to settle down so young. The original series ends with Rory Gilmore, a promising young journ*list heading off to Iowa to cover the long-shot presidential campaign of a promising young Senator named Barack Obama.

The seventh season is divisive among fans for a few reasons (the hasty resolution of many of ASP's S6 landmine plots, the dialogue feels kind of off, some new characters are sloppily introduced late in the game) but I think most people enjoyed seeing Logan grow up a bit and the way his relationship with Rory matured. Most people liked the ending, and thought it was fitting to have Rory choose herself and her career over a man. There's a little bit of added millennial nostalgia/wish-fulfillment and serendipity to see Rory climbing onto the Obama campaign bus when we know he's going to win that race. As viewers, we figure Rory is off to a great start with a bright future ahead of her covering a landmark campaign up close.

Go get 'em, Ace!

Then, eight years later, Netflix gave ASP an assload of money to make A Year in the Life and she used it to take a giant shit all over Season Seven. She basically returned to Stars Hollow with the intent to settle old scores and give Gilmore Girls the ending that she knew it had to have: even if it didn't make a darn lick of sense almost a decade later. She has claimed that she has never watched S7, that she doesn't even really consider it canon. She said she had an assistant watch it and take notes for her. In AYITL, she kept one baby born in S7, and threw out almost everything else, determined to tell her version of what season 7 should have been.

Netflix: Buying your childhood to wear as a four-piece skinsuit

Lorelai and Luke (her main love interest/will-they-won't-they) act like newlyweds wrestling with the decision about whether to have kids, even though they've been married for the better part of a decade and Lorelai is pushing 50. Rory is broke, directionless and struggling like a new college grad, not like a woman in her 30s with access to a multimillion dollar trust fund. Logan is instantly back to being a useless frickboi: engaged to a beautiful woman we never see, but carrying on an affair with Rory.

The only good storyline in AYITL centers on Emily coming to terms with the loss of her husband, Richard (Rory's grandfather) and that story was forced on ASP by the real-life death of the actor Edward Herrmann. She had to actually write a new, age-appropriate story for Emily instead of dusting off whatever she wanted to do for S7, and it's so much better for it.

Poor Ed's brain cancer is the real MVP of AYITL

There's a bunch of other minor shit that sucks in AYITL: fat-shaming that feels very early-2000s and out of step with modern culture, lazily retconning certain characters to be gay for added diversity, an unfunny retread of the "Ann? Her?" gag from Arrested Development. But the main reason A Year In The Life is terrible is that ASP was too stubborn to incorporate any of the stories that other writers had given to her characters, so instead of a thoughtful extrapolation of how these characters might have lived and grown or changed over almost ten years, she did S7: ASP's Version. It's 2016, not 2007, but no one has changed at all or learned anything in the meantime.

A Year in the Life ends with the famous "final four words" that ASP had always preordained, even if they no longer make any goddarn sense from a narrative perspective:

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant."

Barely 32 years old and having a bastard with this dude!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, as a reward for your patience, enjoy this spot-on Mad TV parody:

Isaac, Houston, TX

Career:

• 2022 - working as Sales Rep at a Tile store, making 3-4k a month while going to school full time

  • Left job to focus on classes because he was having issues

• Doing UberEats/Doordash, also getting money from his father

  • "If I need some I'll ask and he might send it"

  • He stopped doing the gig stuff because he injured his knee timestamp

    • Can't do regular Uber because his car does not qualify

    • Has a 2012 Corolla - later clarifies that it's above the miles limit

    • "My knee hurts when I drive"

      • He drove 3 hours over to Caleb, driving 3 hours back later.

      • Something to his meniscus

• Costco opening nextdoor - planning on getting a job there

• Was a Solar Salesman at the beginning of this semester but the company closed down?

Education:

• Studying Biotech (undergrad)

• 4th year but with credits he is a junior, will be finishing in 5 years

  • Had some issues during COVID, didn't pass a lot of classes - trying to make up for that now

• 2.0 GPA overall

  • "Yeah I just got to 2.0 last semester" timestamp

• "Yeah I passed one class... in COVID" timestamp

• Failed Intro to Biotechnology class timestamp

  • "I was passing that class up until the final"

  • Failed "Fundamentals of Chemistry"

• "Why'd you pick this major" timestamp

  • He thought it sounded interesting

  • "So what's your career path"

    • "What do you mean my career path?"

• "A 2.0 is good though" timestamp

• He's taking 26 credits this semester

  • "You can't do that"

    • "Can't do that at one college"

  • "I've learned a few new techniques this semester so I'm dialed in" timestamp

    • 'Like what?"

      • "ummmmm"

    • He's just taking adderall l timestamp

• Payments to "StudyPool" timestamp

  • Website where you "get help" on your assignments

  • "I would never cheat" - this site is definitely cheating

  • Looks like it's a per assignment basis - lots of these

  • $360 last month (allegedly splits with his friend)

• NBS Facts timestamp

  • $30 payment, he says he doesn't know what that is

Finances

• Put his all tuition on his credit cards timestamp

  • An Apple card specifically

  • "I haven't missed a payment"

• Spending a lot on eating out/misc bullshit

• Self-rated a 5/10 in finances timestamp

• Credit Card 1 ($14'715) timestamp

  • $548 minimum payment

• Should he consolidate his debt timestamp

  • If he could actually control himself yes

• Missed payment timestamp

  • He says he doesn't have any but there's $40 in late fees - he paid it a day late but confused this with the concept of a missed payment

• Reasoning for putting tuition on the CC timestamp

  • thought his dad would help pay it off

  • Dad had purchased a house but needed help with the down-payment - $15'000

    • Father is letting him live there rent free and considers this repayment? Not sure if I followed this right

• Coinbase and Robinhood timestamp

  • Invested in crypto?

  • Coinbase - $3'666 in 2021, down to $60 today

  • Robinhood - $6'006, down to $6?

Miscellaneous

• Oracle ad placement

• There's some sort of on-boarding video now timestamp

  • He didn't bother watching it

• Girlfriend gets time to talk timestamp

  • Didn't know how much debt he's in

  • "I think he's nervous he's not usually like this"

  • "He gets defensive when we argue so I think that's what he was doing with you"

  • Thinking about marrying him, wouldn't until he's out of debt

  • Guy's dad doesn't actually give him that much money

• Guy applied to show through Insta

Avery, 26, Austin, TX

Career:

• 44k at some car company "building cars"

  • paid hourly, thinks it's fairly stable 40 hours a week - 10 hours a day 4 days a week, sometimes 11 or 12

Personal Life:

• Wasn't her first choice to move to Austin, she moved here because her friend already works at the car company

• 800ish rent

• Most of this section got lumped into financials

Financials:

• Checking Account

  • Overdrafts

• "I live above my means"

• Credit Card 1 ($369) timestamp

  • Paid $45 on it

  • Made $116 in purchases

  • $10 in interest added

  • She tries to explain why she hasn't paid if off - she divides her payments between her paychecks???

    • Mentions at least 5 other credit cards

• Credit Card 2 ($450) timestamp

  • Disney Rewards Card

  • Minimum payment $40

  • because she used to go to Disney but hasn't for a very long time

  • Sally Beauty $50 purchase "on a whim"

  • Also some eating out

• Credit Card 3 (2051) timestamp

  • $73 minimum payment

  • $53 interest charged

  • $30 in new purchases

    • "I needed an outfit for a concert"

    • Actually she went to Taco Bell and a Boba Tea place

  • "I'm still making my payments, that's all that matters"

  • Mentions that she will be going to see a couple more concerts. 21 Pilots and a band whose name I can't make out

  • Claims the food purchases are justified

  • Some weird explanation about how she couldn't use her card to get a protein bar and water so she went to get taco bell instead? (I assume she means the vendor didn't have a card reader?)

• Credit Card 4 ($492) (Walmart) timestamp

  • 28 minimum monthly payment

  • No new purchases on this one?

  • She usually uses it but didn't this time?

• Credit Card 5 ($5'004) (Discover) timestamp

  • She bought a computer on there?

  • Minimum payment $125

  • Interest $104

  • She doesn't really understand how interest works and has been trying to pay slightly more than minimum on all her debts? timestamp

• Credit Card 6 ($136) (Hot Topic) timestamp

  • There's a $3 fee on it? "What do you mean fee"

  • $30 minimum monthly payment

• Student Loans timestamp

  • Something about her mother taking out student loans too on her behalf and she's paying for those as well? I didn't really understand this one

    • her mom's loan is on deferment but she's still paying it while on deferment (she really doesn't understand how interest rates work)

    • Later clarified that her mother used her brother's credit to take these loans out? He knew and approved it

  • Some talk about family situation, nothing super interesting she mentions that she likes to give expensive gifts, sees that as a need not a want

  • Didn't catch how much she's paying off for the mother but she herself has $5'162

    • Was paying it off while in school - went to school for theater, got degree

  • Going to go back to school for "advanced manufacturing" - her job is covering it? Community college (ACC)

• Caleb stimming timestamp

• "So what do you do when you are low on money on your checking account but only have your credit card to survive?" timestamp

• Car (Toyota Camry) (31'972 balance) timestamp

  • $650 monthly payment

  • Storytime - weird ex-boyfriend story

  • Purchased March 2023

  • 6 year agreement

  • She thinks a 9% interest

  • Scratched on the side, damage to the windshield

    • Heat damage on the windshield? Apparently you want to roll windows down when it's very hot?

  • valued at maybe 21'000

• Income 3617 timestamp

  • "I've never really checked my finances to be honest with you"

• Checking Account timestamp

  • Highlights a nintendo charge, some eating out, google play, playstation network

  • 5 overdraft charges in a row

  • She Klarna'd some tickets and a $100 Back to The Future Lego set

• Other people borrow money from her??? timestamp

  • Her mother borrows money from her sometimes about $100? Not every month? Just rarely???

  • She overdrafts

  • "That's only once"

    • "No"

• Funny drama confrontation about her future in society timestamp

• Confrontation over phone finances timestamp

Finances Pie Chart timestamp

“You'll be alright. Just stop squirming honey, lay still,” Orpah said.

Samson lay on his back on the hot rocks beside the rugged rock path of Sonder Mountain. The sun was flaming intensely, laying a blanket of heavy heat over them. His leg was bent awkwardly, unnaturally, so much so that a lick of the white of his bone could be seen through his shin.

“Calm down honey,” Orpah soothed him, leaning the water flask into his mouth.

The yelling had stopped. Samson had screamed and yelled in pain until his vocal cords were bloody. It was obvious that there was no one else on the path, and with nighttime fast approaching, unlikely it was that the situation would flip. Orpah took off her top, leaving her in just her skimpy white vest, before soaking it in water and laying it over Samson's forehead. The sky was a deep shade of orange. It would have been quite beautiful to look at if the situation was different, less dire perhaps. Orpah knew she would be able to find help at the bottom of Sonder Mountain. But that was easily a three-hour hike, and with night looming over them, she couldn't risk leaving Samson at the mercy of the coyotes. Not while his leg dripped blood and he dipped in out of consciousness, driven hysterical from pain. So she remained at his side, lovingly combing her fingers through his long hair as she tended to his needs.

“They'll notice we aren't there at dinner and come out looking for us. I'll start a small fire to make us a tad more visible,” Orpah said.

Samson gritted some form of acknowledgment through his gritted teeth. His face was almost as pale as his knuckles. Pain like this, it was nothing he ever felt before. It had him contemplating death, wondering whether a life with this amount of agony was one worth cherishing, worth fighting for. Was death not void of all such suffering? But he held on to life, if only for Orpah and her beautiful face, the love she evoked within him, and the tenderness of her touch.

“Go… find… help,” Samson managed to utter without opening his jaw.

Orpah looked up at him.

“Light the fire… and go find help… it'll keep the… coyotes away,” Samson explained.

“Are you sure?” Orpah asked.

Samson nodded. His leg had gone numb from the pain. The feeling of being stabbed over and over again was so consistent it had become a non-factor, like when noise is so ceaseless it becomes soothing or when you wear your glasses for so long you forget they're on. The first few stars twinkled in the sky which was slowly turning from orange to black. Orpah reached into her backpack and pulled out a box of long matchsticks. The trail was mostly stones and sand, but Orpah managed to gather enough sticks to start a sizeable flame. She cordoned it off with a few rocks, kissed Samson on the forehead, and headed down the trail.

“I'll be back as fast as I can,” Orpah said.

The smoke from the flame was serpent-like, the wisps slithering sinisterly. Every moment remaining in consciousness was a conscientious effort. He was glad for the flame. The air had suddenly gone from sweltering to chilly which only made the pain worse. Suddenly he felt the ground shake. He wasn't sure at first; it was as subtle as can be. But it grew and grew until it was an undeniable tremor, as if a giant was walking in the vicinity. Samson didn't have to wonder too much before the source made itself known. A kangaroo hopped out from behind a rock. It was purple and had a flame on the tip of its tail.

“What the everloving frick are you?” Samson said aloud in fear, “what in the frick is that?”

The kangaroo looked at him, tilted its head, and smiled. About twenty crabs crawled out its pouch and scattered all over. The kangaroo stretched in relief. Samson tried to crawl away but failed. The kangaroo was still towering over him.

“I done carried them from Jupiter. Nasty lil buggers, those claws are nothing to be ignorin',” the kangaroo said in a raspy voice.

“What the actual frick is going on?” was all Samson could manage.

“S'pose now is a good a time as any for an explanation. My name is, well I aint got a name. No need for those on the dimensional plane I'm from. I've taken this form because your puny mind would never understand my true form,” it continued raspily.

Samson blinked hard twice. He was convinced this was some kind of hallucination, his mind playing tricks on him, insanity brought on by dehydration and deliria.

“I am the bringer of the gift of death. You can do nothing to earn it, nothing to lose it but like any other gift, you may decline it,” the kangaroo continued, but this time in a different voice like a lady.

“How do I know you're real?” Samson managed to ask.

The kangaroo paused for a while, thought, and then answered.

“On the sixteenth of December your wife Orpah was asleep and you wanted a sandwich. You were too lazy to make it yourself so you opened a jar of Nutella and ate directly from it, you ate it all Samson, all. You got sick the next day and denied eating it. You told Orpah that from the bottom of your heart you didn't do it. But you did,” the kangaroo said in a different voice yet again.

It was as though the kangaroo was having great fun altering its voice each time. Perhaps more out of embarrassment than anything else Samson admitted to himself that indeed the kangaroo was not a figment of his imagination. The entire situation fell into the category of ‘too strange to be fiction'.

“So… am I dead?” Samson asked tentatively.

“Only if you want to be,” the kangaroo replied casually.

Samson lowered his eyebrow, his forehead creased. He was flummoxed.

“Death is a gift, as I have said. You can accept it or reject it,” the kangaroo explained.

He held his long tail in his hand, swinging it around casually.

“And, uhm, if I choose death? What would happen, I'm not saying that's what I want, but if I did choose death, what would happen next?” Samson asked, making very sure to emphasise that he wasn't asking for death.

“I don't know. I've never died. I'm only the collector of souls. I can tell what will happen if you choose life though,” the kangaroo said.

Samson shrugged.

“Oh c'mon, the same old,” said the kangaroo, “pain, misery, discontent, disappointment. Amidst it all a few moments of love and happiness. I've seen a lot of lives in my job. No matter where you are, how you live, it's always the same. Just a different variety of it.”

Samson paused for a while. He had forgotten about his broken leg, something that tends to happen when you have a kangaroo from the realm of death before you. A sly thought crept in his mind.

“You said that death is a gift, right?” Samson queried.

“Indeed.”

“Then, like any other gift, I could pass it on, couldn't I?”

“I s'pose.”

“Then I give my gift to Orpah,” Samson said resolutely.

The kangaroo looked at him, vexed.

“Your own wife? Well that's certainly a new one,” the kangaroo said.

“If death truly is a gift, I would not want my last action to be something as selfish as running away from the strife of the world. If my wife takes it, I will know she loved death more than I. If she rejects the gift, then this will be a life worth living. I don't know, it makes sense in my head,” explained Samson.

“Very well then.”

And the kangaroo stuck its purple hands out, waved them and uttered a magical spell. The sky lit up in a million colours. And then the kangaroo was gone. Samson lay there in the darkness of the night with only the flickering of the flames as his company. No one came until morning when the mountain ranger came around for his morning route. In a state of semi-consciousness, all Samson remembered was being lifted up and put into the back of a pickup truck. He swung in and out of consciousness and found himself on a soft bed, his leg raised in a cast in some sort of log cabin. The ranger and Orpah stood over him.

“He almost died,” he heard the ranger say.

“Oh my poor honey,” Orpah said, “I'm so grateful you saved him. How can I ever show my gratitude?”

“Well there is one way,” he heard the ranger say smugly.

A bit of whispering and a bit of giggling and Samson heard the sound of something oddly similar to the clank of a metal belt buckle hitting the ground. They left the room.

Samson wanted his gift back.

In case you hate the shitty AI voice here's the summary

• In 2018 when he was 12 he discovered reddit. He eventually finds out that there's a karma leaderboard.

• By 2019 he has 3,000 karma. He cringes now looking back at his comments.

• His "breakthrough" happened in March 2019 when a meme he posted got upvoted. It was even reviewed in one of Pewdiepies videos.

• He makes it into /r/EternityClub realizes they're cringe and leaves.

• Still he wants to make it into /r/CenturyClub. Gets banned for 3 days for telling a furry to kill himself Continues grinding and finally gets 100k and makes it into /r/CenturyClub. Realizes they're cringe 30+ year old Americans obsessed with politics and leaves.

• In 2020 he turns his focus to minecraft. Gets bored with that and goes back to reddit.

• He had much more time now because of the pandemic which kept him at home for almost 2 years.

• Now he wanted 1 million karma. He messages Gallowboob for advice. Now he is locked in.

• It took almost a year to reach 100k karma. Another 6 months to 200k. But now it only took 6 days to get to 300k.

• He got every reddit award now. Some guy gave $175 worth of awards

• In September 2020 he reaches 1 million points after only 47 days of grinding. It was quite fast.

• Arnold Schwarzenegger even replied to one of his posts, but he didn't really know who Arnold was

• Now the American election is coming up. He's an Italian kid so he knows nothing about it, but he realizes reddit hates Trump so he starts posting anti Trump memes. They do well. He learns about more American politicians and which ones reddit hates so he can get more karma

• By the end of 2020 he was over 2 million karma.

• He joined a groomercord some Indian guy made called Redditors United where top karma accounts could share advice. He considered them idols, but later realized they were mostly "16 year old Indians with way too much free time. Just like me."

• He still wanted to grind to 10 million karma. He now posted 100 times per day at regular intervals.

• Time was not a problem since he had online school and could keep Google meet open while posting to reddit.

• He made a google spreadsheet to track his progress and aimed for 30k points a day or 1 million a month.

• By his 14th birthday he reached 5 million. He basically just spammed posts now and at one point was averaging 90k points per day. By May 2021 he reached 10 million karma after "5 months of grinding with no breaks."

• But this was starting to negatively affect his school work so he had to take time off reddit to focus on algebra

• He came back to reddit. Now he wanted to be number 1. The target was 38 million "set by /u/CheetahSperm18, a porn addicted American man who posted naked anime girls everyday."

• Someone gets suspicious and sees that this zoomer posted at almost the same times everyday. They assume he's a bot so he gets banned from the /r/BotDefense system. This banned him from 3k subs.

• Undeterred he carried on eventually reaching 25 million karma.

• Now he was back at in person school so he would run home when it finished and spam reddit with more posts. During this time he got banned twice. But appealed them successfully.

• The start of 2022 was great because Putin invaded Russia so now he could spam Zelensky.

• But he notices his karma started slowing. He was banned from too many subs. Had to focus on school. So he took 3 months off.

• He claims now is when he learned python and made a bot to automate his posts. Posting 360 times a day.

• People got mad. Someone reports him and reddit permanently bans him for content manipulation. Other big accounts got banned as well.

Now he was free to touch grass and just posts to his youtube.

Proving that reportmaxxing works!

I saw this here

https://old.reddit.com/r/TheoryOfReddit/comments/1c66kpp/how_millions_of_karma_are_made/?sort=controversial

I didn't plan to watch it all due to the annoying voice, but the autism of it drew me in. Where were this kids parents. Absolutely r-slurred. At least he got away from it eventually.

If there's one thing we all share in common, it's that we need food to live. Food is our sustenance and without it, we perish. Some of us eat too little and become skinny. Others eat too much and become fat. Regardless, at the end of the day, we're all eating.

Children, especially young infants, cannot obtain their own food. Hence, it is the job of the parents to ensure that the child receives the sustence they require. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case and there are some parents who abandon their responsibility. Today I'll briefly discuss two cases of parents who let their children starve to death. My writing won't be all too animated, and you'll find out why in the conclusion.

The Deadly Vacation

Who doesn't like a good vacation? It's a chance to get away from the stresses of life, see new places, and maybe even enjoy a holiday fling. But what if the stressor is your own child? Suddenly, a vacation becomes a dark deed.

Kristel Candelario wanted to go on vacation. But her pesky 16 month old child Jailyn would take the fun out of it. So, she decided to leave the child in the crib while she jetted off to Detroit and Puerto Rico for ten days. While Kristel was on the beach, Jailyn defacated all over herself and ate the waste as her only source of sustenance. Of course, this turned the situation deadly and the child perished. After the ten day long holiday, Kristel returned home to a poop-covered dead child. She changed the child's clothing before calling 911, claiming to have found the child not breathing.

Of course, upon investigation, it was found that she had abandoned her baby who starved to death. Upon receiving her life sentence, the judge described Kristel's actions as the ultimate act of betrayal. Do you agree? What do you think was going on in Kristel's mind?

The Dirty Home

Seth Welch and Tatiana Fusari had a child named Mary Welch. They did not treat the child very well. CPS found traces of THC in the child, suggesting that the parents were blazing around the infant which is no laughing matter.

Mary was heavily malnourished but the parents refused to seek medical assistance, citing religious reasons. They say God dwells in a cleanly home. Their house must have been the domain of Satan because it was found to have roaches and vermin and mould. For unknown reasons, the parents witheld food from the baby. The likely cause is that they were too wrapped up in their drug-fueled life.

Eventually, Mary succumbed to malnourishment, and the pair were charged with negligent homicide and were sentenced to life. Prior to sentencing, when Seth was told he was facing a life sentence, he made the soyjack face.

This is no laughing matter however.

Conclusion

I can't sleep. I've stopped taking benzos and I feel sick. My head is pounding, I feel like puking and I am constantly moody and agitated. I feel like I need benzos like an infant needs breastmilk. I started playing Red Dead Redemption today. Very cool, but also very slow-paced. I like Bonny McFarlane and walking around the ranch. I think it captures the "Western" aesthetic better than its successor.

Why the Fed won't cut rates

There's a new storm on the horizon. But this is the kind of storm that brings relief on a hot summer evening. There is the scenario of a high for long soft landing on the horizon. A world in which rates stay high, but there's sufficient resilience in the economy to tolerate these high rates. About a 30% probability on this high for long soft landing, combined with the other scenarios of boil the frog with high rates as well, we see about a 75% chance that rates just stay higher than what is currently anticipated.

In terms of the CPI report from March, it obviously came in a bit firmer than expected. And so you're running at rates that are still, a bit uncomfortably high for the Fed. But more importantly, Fed officials had looked at the January and February numbers as maybe kind of an outlier, a bit of a one-off, probably a little bit stronger with underlying trend was. And so, another strong print for March certainly undermines that view and potentially shifts the Fed a little more cautious direction.

And obviously that's what's been reflected in market pricing and taking out some of the cuts that we've had. We're down to, atm, fewer than two cuts by year-end price for the market right now.

The two pieces the Fed had been kind of separating out between housing and the super core. Both of them have been firmer than expected. Housing is basically kind of moving sideways, 0.4 plus per month.

Investors have been expecting it to be gradually cooling a bit more. And the big one obviously is the super core. The three-month run rate of that thing is now above 8%.Thus that's a really strong signal that you've got some meaningful stickiness yet in services inflation. And that's just not the US.

Two points make a line, three points make a trend, and you've got strong growth, not much delinquency and Labor markets are super strong. Why shouldn't Powell just look at this and saying, you know what, the Fed's not done here.

At minimum, they should not be cutting at all. Maybe they should be even hiking. Is there even a counter to that?

Japan

Institutional clients have a very positive outlook on the Japanese economy because they believe that Japan exiting a deflationary era. And you're starting to see things like very tight labor market, higher wage pressure, so real inflationary forces come to the forefront.

Emerging Markets (Interesting counterbalance)

So investors did shift their bias from a bullish one to a more neutral one on both EM local bonds. And currencies off the back of yesterday's US CPI print. After arguing for some time that so long as the Fed is cutting rates, the timing didn't really matter all that much.

But if the market is confident of being in a gradual cutting cycle, that alone would be sufficient to help emerging market assets deliver decent positive returns. And that also explains why, despite a pretty decent repricing in the US yield curve lately. Back in January, markets were pricing in over 100 basis points of cuts.

And now it's far less. EM assets overall held in well on the view that the regime was still one of rate cuts and people can debate the details of timing and overall magnitude. But now, the US has had three consecutive upside surprises to CPI inflation.

That opens the door for a more bearish potential scenario and regime for fixed income assets more generally. So not saying that's the base case now, but clearly the probability of something like the market having to think about no cuts is increasing. So it makes sense to step aside a little bit and let the dust settle on this one.

At EM local bonds, if you look at them inflation adjusted, in real yield terms, those EM real yields are actually the highest since 2009 at the moment, given the lower relative EM inflation. EM currencies are also generally cheaper. If you look in long-term versus the dollar, looking at how EMs been lagging some of these global cyclical upturns at the moment, the valuation side of things is probably not in a bad place right now. And if you look at EMFX risk appetite index, which is good to follow, it's been sort of oscillating around zero (not as of 12 hours ago though lol when I started writing this. More on that below) as well, not showing any significant positions.

If you look at sort of global investors, if you just take flows as a metric of their sentiment and how they've been seeing the asset class, they really have not been putting any money into EM bond funds. In fact, quite the opposite. So far this year, there has been 10 billion of outflows. That's on the back of 34 billion of outflows last year.

And that was on the back of 90 billion of outflows in 2022. So it just doesn't feel like the global investor has been piling into EM. In fact, the opposite, they've, on the margin, been withdrawing money from the asset class.

So it's important to recognize that emerging markets have their own inflation story. It's no longer being driven by a common global factor, as was the case back in 21 or 22. And the contrast this week between the downside surprise in inflation in Mexico, which is the EM country with the greatest trade and economic linkages to the US versus the upside surprise here in the US, that was quite telling about the sort of independent monetary policy and inflation trajectories that we see in emerging markets.

So, in an environment where the market is questioning the Fed's ability to cut at all against the backdrop of firming global growth is not necessarily a bad one for credit markets as recession risks are being seen as fallen and certainly that's what US economists think. But it's going to depend which bit of the credit markets and that's been our theme for a long time. Fundamentally, there's also quite a lot of idiosyncratic driver in those, let's call them post-distressed EM sovereigns who are coming off the back of a couple of years of really special situations distress,[COVID and CHINESE BRI DEBT] some going through restructuring, some narrowly avoided it.

And those are drivers which are just, it's a very big cyclical driver coming off the back of a distress period, which is probably not going to be affected as much by even a rethink of this fed path as the market's going through.

What do I think?

So probably sticking with those post-distressed, very high yield type of countries in sovereigns is probably right. For the lower spread portion, you could see people start to look at it and ask and ask an environment where core rates are going to stay higher for longer, where the value proposition is in there.

EMFX with high yields as outflows increase as FED continues to hold rates still or maybe even hike is a good strategy. 70/30 is also good. 70 in US money markets, 30 in EMFX money markets.

Notes for further Study:

https://www.xtb.com/en/market-analysis/risk-appetite-sinks-as-risks-hit-the-market

2015 paper from Morgan Stanley: https://www.morganstanley.com/im/publication/insights/investment-insights/ii_emergingmarketattractive_en.pdf

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-04-12/emerging-market-currencies-hit-two-month-low-on-flight-from-risk

!math !r-slurs

Caution: ALL INVESTMENT ADVISE IS OPINION. MARKETS ARE RISKY. INVEST AT YOUR OWN RISK. I BEAR NO RESPONSIBILITY IN ANY OF YOUR INVESTMENTS.

She’s pretty wym pic.twitter.com/a3ljCBAuBK

— ☆🄿🄸🄴 ☆ (on Break)(not anymore) (@Artiah669) April 12, 2024

!macacos !soyteens

Tried my best to doodle their pinkie! Any criticisms is welcome to this doodle and I don't mind updating it

woa this might be even worse

"she looks ugly" and it just looks like a regular person youd see in real life

i want a detailed description of whats supposedly ugly ab this design w out them being colorist

well..no! never seen anyone like this in my life lololol

have you considered talking to real people instead of playing royal high all day

31.5k posts telling ppl to go outside insane projection

Literally

edtwt stays online and inside too much looking at pinterest girls they forgot what other people also look like

Is this the female equivalent of accusing people of being a porn addict?

Do you live in Chernobyl?

It looks like a racist Wojack dude what are you talking about

Incomprehensible woahjacks from Bahia, Brazil

bro living in ohio

Normalise having average looking characters

normalise not looking like a runway model

girl looks so freaking happy and that's one of the many things that makes a person pretty, imo

The issue is that artists make inclusive POC and LGBT characters ugly as frick while the generic cis white straight characters are pinnacles of beauty.

This literally feels borderline racist like... No, that's not an average person look. That looks like some sort of wojack or minstrel cartoon ☠️☠️

literally. she IS pretty. i saw people jumping thru hoops in the replies trying to make this problematic which is really funny

She looks like a racist wojack made by some neonazi on 4chan

This design looks cute @RobotinTheVoid

^^ Twitter needs to stfu and stop bullying a child

the mlp fandom when artists ' human versions of magical rainbow ponies look like a regular human and not a supermodel ( the whole point of the show is friendship and accepting people for who they are )

Darn apparently every character ever needs to follow strict societal beauty standards rooted in white supremacy….

she's so pretty, i have a friend who looks like her

hope your friend doesn't know you think they look like this.

God forbid a black girl have braces ig??? seriously what is their issue

Babe its the… face….

nah learning that the artist is white made this whole discussion flip for me

Ok but that specifically looks like satire...

as a black girl, it's really aggravating when people draw us in these..unsightly ways and then try to gaslight us into thinking this is what every other black woman looks like. "this is what an average person looks like" average person here, no the frick its not!

like its just smth abt making the poc headcanons god awful ugly that doesnt sit well with me like lets think inwards on why yall wanna make the poc headcanons fat and ugly

the drawing is literally bordering on racist wojack and they're like "she's pretty!!!!"

imagine if the person who drew these was a very very VERY white person LOL

sources are saying theyre white

Why do they always make these exaggerated drawings ugly as sin. Black people are beautiful... this feels like racist insults every single time.🤦‍♂️

If I was told this was a right wing meme made specifically to make fun of s I would believe you

I've seen actual racist caricatures of black people that looked better than this.

"She's pretty wym"

my good friend spoke about this before

Hear me out...

I look like this

Introduction

Q: What is Happy Tree Friends?

A: You should have watched it as a kid. If you haven't, you can watch this:

Q: who the frick like this show?

A: autists , and no, this is unironic.

The Subreddit

I watched Happy Tree Friends as a kid and think it is pretty funny, and found out they made a new episode recently, so I read something about happy tree friends, and found the subreddit:

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/

It is filled with autists obsessing over their stupid fan-made characters:

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/1c3mrx1/my_first_animation/?sort=controversial

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/1c31s79/hi_im_new_to_this_community_htf_persona/?sort=controversial

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/1c0qcwk/millie_rabbit_feel_free_to_draw_her_anyway_you/?sort=controversial

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/1c0bnyz/help/?sort=controversial

It is not even that interesting until you look into the stickied post of the subreddit.

The Autist

Here is the stickied post:

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/198sto6/since_yall_wont_learn/?sort=controversial

I don't care if I left the fandom! If you mention brunynhoalves, you're getting a 5 day ban! Just frick off already! I said to stop talking about him! I saw another post today!

Even the mods talk like an autist.

But who is /u/brunynhoalves?

So basically he spams the subreddits with posts to tell people to subscribe to him or whatever:

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/15q2uet/do_you_wanna_subscribe_me_on_my_youtube_account/?sort=controversial

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/15vgrx5/add_me_on_groomercordbrunynhofernandes_99185/?sort=controversial (Trigger Warning: Groomcord )

Since he spams the subreddit non-stop, he is eventually banned from it

And he appeals to the subreddit mods :

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/17il0f4/the_entirety_of_my_convo_with_burnynhoalves_a/?sort=controversial#lightbox

So this is apparantly Flippy x Fliqpy ship:

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/16q0ach/brought_back_this_shit/?sort=controversial

It gets even worse:

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/17w6j17/the_entirety_of_my_convo_with_brunynhoalves_the/?sort=controversial

In case you can't see the screenshot in the last screenshot:

Can you rub your breasts on my peepee?

Hey

Can you rub your breasts on my peepee?

I said can you rub your breasts on my peepee?

He apparantly shit up the subreddit so much that there are many complain posts about him:

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/17vc4k7/i_dont_tend_to_be_an_empathetic_person_but/?sort=controversial

What the frick is even illegal shit? These are all fricking anthropomorphic animals and these zoophilic autist do be like "no only the yellow rabbit and the pink female one not the same character but two personality"

https://old.reddit.com/r/happytreefriends/comments/17vj3sb/brunynhoalves_meme/?sort=controversial

When the autists noootices

And from the above post, I found his twitter:

https://twitter.com/BrunoFe62752625

💚🐻Flippy HTF🐻💚 (DO NOT UNFOLLOW ME)

DO NOT UNFOLLOW

Gives off DO NOT REDEEM energy

13🎂| Neurodivergent🧩| Male | (he,) I'm a good artist, I'm obsessed with #happytreefriends, follow me if you want.

Neurodivergent

quite apparant

Look at this beautiful retweet:

https://twitter.com/ADONIS_577/status/1705743589676843332

And here's his YouTube Channel:

Made on Alight Motion

How To Make G Major 74 in Alight Motion:

1st go to up tempo and pitches:

-10

+9

+14

2nd: go to alight motion and create a project what you want

3rd: tap + on Bottom Right

4th: click Klasky Csupo

5th: go to homogenization and opacity and click Luminosity

6th: go to effects and search Stretch Axis:

Scale: 0,85

Angle: 0,0°

7th: go to effects and search Circular Ripple:

Centralize: X Axis: 0 Y Axis: 0 Frequency: 1,00

Intensity: -0,140

Phase: 0,00

Radius: 0,30

Feather: 1,000

8th: go to effects and Search Stretch Axis: (again)

Stretch: 1,22

Angle: 0,0°

The autism is strong

https://youtube.com/@brunofernandes7072/videos

And this is legitimately disturbing.

And of course it is easy to find his DeviantArt too:

https://www.deviantart.com/brunynhofernandes101

https://www.deviantart.com/brunynhofernandes101/art/Rubbing-your-breasts-on-my-peepee-981966251

Rubbing your breasts on my peepee

So, how neurodivergent do you think he is?