Both of my brothers have left the faith and come out as transgender girls

I am a college aged guy with two brothers, one a couple years older than me and the other 6 years younger than me. The oldest is on the autism spectrum and the youngest is certainly neurodivergent as well. Our family environment is dysfunctional in many ways, but for the past several years I've only been at home in the summers and so there's only so much I can do to influence a better culture at home.

Several years ago while I was still in high school, my older brother came out as a trans woman and it was incredibly difficult for us, and I've had to process it in therapy for years, seeing my brother robbed of me and questioning my own grip on reality as my family life descended into chaos and uncertainty. While I have always refused to use his chosen female name, I go out of my way not to directly address him with his birth name or do anything blatantly disrespectful.

Truth is, I love him more than anything or anyone in this world, I know he's my brother, and I know he's just a vulnerable person who fell victim to a harmful ideology. In the years since he came out, he's also dealt w substance abuse issues, severe depression, and schizophrenic symptoms, and has been living at home dropped out of college. Its been so sad to watch because he has a brilliant mind and is capable of so much, but he's trapped by his own mind. I want nothing more than to see him turn his life around, but it's hard to see an end in sight.

As hard as this all has been to process, I felt like I'd almost finally gotten used to it all, and then my little brother flipped my world upside down my coming out as a trans girl as well at 16, after leaving our church earlier in the year, and growing his hair out long. Once I realized these subtle changes, I started to think back and realized the shift that's happened to my little brothers personality over time leading up to this. He was a super energetic, social & extroverted kid up until about age 10, and then he began kind of withdrawing. I always thought it was just the awkwardness of puberty and then covid and whatnot, but I now feel like it goes deeper than that. I don't know if something happened to him, but it seems like he just doesn't love himself or believe in himself, and that hurts me to no end, because he is so awesome and capable.

My family doesn't communicate very well at all, and everyone is super non confrontational, so it makes dealing with these things so much harder, and although I'm sure my parents are heartbroken by what's happening to their sons, I feel they're not doing enough to address everything head on. But I don't know what the right thing to do is. Ultimately I just want to show my brothers love, but I can't sit back and "lovingly" tolerate and accept their transitions because I know they're in much worse places than they were when they were younger and comfortable in their skin and gender and everything else. And I just want them to love themselves. I don't want to be combative or try to convince them not to be trans because that seems fruitless.

I just want to know how best to show them love while not affirming their new identities. If you read all the way through, I'd love to hear your thoughts and perspectives on the situation.

TLDR: My younger and older brothers have now both come out as transgender girls. How can I best show love without affirming their path?

rip this dude's family