I did my first rosary as trappykong suggested, then I did a tarot card readings which suggested that I should still keep on with my work with demons because my incident with Lucifer was a misunderstanding and I have emotional baggage I have to work through and shed and demons are good at bringing it up to the psyche.
I think the virgin Mary is encouraging me to keep working with demons, so I can shed my baggage, I'm looking for advice for people who work with the Mother of Heaven.
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I told my friend about this post and he couldn't stop laughing. Its pretty clear to both of us that theres no way Mary would say something like that and that tarot cards are not generally thought of as a way to speak with her. If you are being told, through a tarot reading, that you should continue convening with demons, perhaps you are being told to do so by demons?
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I'm not exactly sure that Mother Mary is right for me, It's just, I'm very big on freedom and being able to question, and spiritual illumination, being able to question and explore.
I liked her energy, but if I have to worry about fear, the concept of Heck and guilt which I can't rationalize with a loving God. I mean, I don't want to work with spirits who may be betraying me, but I still need the freedom to question and discover in my spirituality.
I have some personal issues with Buddhism, my dad was kind of a toxic Buddhist with anger issues.
It's just, I've been having doubts in Lucifer that he actually has my best intentions in mind. It may come from Religious dogma and guilt I have to work through.
What I saying is that if I work with Mother Mary, I can't convert to Catholicism or make a promise that I'll "Go forth and not sin again". What I want is a loving God that will judge me based on my heart and not condemn me for any sins that I make, and I don't want to worry about the concept of eternal punishment of separation from that God. I've already dealt enough with Judgmental parental figures, they caused trust issues since we associate our conception of God based on our parents.
I'm going to try working more with angels, so I don't have that doubt, but I've worked with both angels and demons, but don't want the doubt with trying to wonder on the back of my mind on if I'm being led astray.
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Why?
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This is what I thought.
I don't want to be led astray.
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