train sees numbers on a clock as a sign from god

I don't know if you necessarily believe this but I feel the angels give me signs in the form of numbers whenever I looked at a clock I would always see an angel number. And as crazy as it seems the numbers where never wrong and almost always seemed to match whatever I was thinking in the moment or answering a prayer.

I prayed to God in 2020 I was really depressed that year and almost attempted suicide. Now I didn't come out as trans till October 3rd of 2020 I did come out as pan on the Jan 1st 0f 2020 though. I was so mentally ill to being digonsed with a schizophrenic spectrum disorder To. That caused me to get into trouble with the law. I rember almost wanting to murder my mom for some reason. And how scared I got I had a dream of seeing a demon and I couldn't move in this dream and that's when I knew I let evil get the best of me. I feel terrible for the times I broke the law and I asked for forgiveness. And I kid you not my prayers seemed to work a bit bec I was never convicted and I was never sent to juvie either. And I was given a number which mentioned something about starting over. It's almost as if god though I was worth saving.

Eventually I began to use these numbers more and more and I even asked tjem of being pansexul and trans was okay and the numbers just said you make your life a reality which means if you act bad you will have bad things happen. If you act good things will happen.

I felt as far as the transgender thing went I figured god wants us to choose our gender and sexuality and god does not control it. And God isn't this continue freak like alot of transphobic and homophonic christants make them to be.

And I still get these numbers sending positive messages that it's okay to be the way I am. It also mentioned that my partner would be a man almost as If it knew despite being a woman in a man's body I still dated men as If I was a woman.

that is so chill