checkmate, liberals

I wonder how/when i got so fricked up... my mind, existence, problem - when Dylan Benet Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan's body... as i see the people at school - some good, some bad - I see how different i am (aren't we all you'll say) yet i'm on such a greater scale of difference (as far as I kno, or guess) I see jocks having fun, friends, woman, LIVEZ or rather shallow existences compared to mine (maybe). Like ignorance = bliss - they don't know this world (how I do in my mind or in reality, or in this existence) yet we each are lacking something that the other possesses -- i lack the true human nature that Dylan owned, & they lack the overdeveloped mind/ imagination/ knowledge tool I don't sit in here thinking of suicide gives me hope, that i'll be in my place wherever I go after this life. that ill finally not be at war w. myself, the world, the universe - my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE... me- my soul (existence). & the rotine - is still monotonous, go to school, be scared & nervous, somewhat hoping that people can accept me... that i can accept them... the NIN song Piggy is good for thought writing... The lost Highway sounds like a movie about me... im gonna write later, bye