Toy cemetery by William w johnstone I just deleted and rebought all the books on my kindle because my phone is used and I needed to reinstall the app. Yes there was probably a way to do it that wouldn't have cost me 28 dollars( I prefer print), but I really wanted to reas Toy Cemetery by William W Johnstone

And it was worth the price of admission. This is a book written by a man who does not give a shit. It's pure penny dreadful nonsense written by someone who would much rather be writing westerns. The plot is that there's an evil entity in service to the death who's getting old and dying because apparently Satan is a fricking cheat. So to extend his lifespan he needs a member of a certain family to rewind a clock and is also ripping out people's souls and sticking them into toys made by a libertarian who records child pornography to glorify Satan. These toys are then sent to collectors all over the world to somehow spread evil. Are they bringing other toys to life? Are they encouraging children to do evil? Who the frick knows. The twists are about as logical and foreshadowed as your average soap opera plot. Every women the hero sleeps with tries to kill him. The devil makes him frick a younger woman for no reason. The people who get their souls ripped out turn into fake people. Some of the toys don't like working for the devil's loser son and his fat libertarian sidekick and so they rebel and the fat libertarian dumps them in a creepy house in the woods. There's a secret evil compound hospital where dissenters get eaten by the old one and die horribly. The book is so unapologetically stupid, and ends with the hero's evil daughter plotting to seduce him when she gets older. Daddy's got a thick rod for you, but it ain't his peepee. It's his his harlot hitting club to beat the slut of sinful little satanists. You're going to church kid. The best comparison is if I tried to write a horror novel in the style of my fanfic. The book is insane. This post is more coherent.