A few thoughts on “Confessions of a Mask”

I finished “Confessions of a Mask” yesterday, BUNCH OF SPOILERS AHEAD.

I found this book to be much better than “The Sailor who fell from Grace with the Sea”, the beginning was kind of weird with Mishima describing his fetishes like masturbating to a St Sebastian painting

This one to be more specific, and I giggled when he had an erection at school after seeing his older classmate show his hairy armpits during a physical education class while describing the pits as “black bushes” with fascination , not to mention his suicide fetishes.

Then by halfway the book became increasingly sad.

This an honest confession written by a man tormented by his homosexuality, he desperately tries to blend in and fails, at some point he holds on the idea of war and dying in battle or during an air raid, he even says he wishes his entire family would die as well trying to act as emotionally robotic as possible. Then we see that's just a coping mechanism as he cries after his sister dies and cries again after realizing his mates mocked him for not having being able to have s*x with a prostitute. You can also tell he wishes he was in love with Sonoko and kind of regrets not having married her, at the same time he knows it wouldn't have worked, or at least he wishes he was “normal” enough to be sexually attracted to her.

All in all this is a well written book and I wonder what sort of reaction it caused on mid 20th century readers.

!bookworms