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God real life portia's teeter on the thin line between cute and terrifying with their comically huge eyes

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Nature is trying to manipulate you into hugging them. Don't be fooled.

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bro just accept that all spiders are the cutest little fellas :marseyspider:

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Hello Dahncer_the_reindeer, or should I say r*pedeer? 8 letters, fitting huh. If this life were perfect you'd have known nothing but milk and cookies since you left your birthers c*nt. However, it's not- that's where I come in.

You have no say anymore, no freedom, no volition- I am Santa. You now worship my Christmas tree. You can call me Nicholas. A saint? No, but I come with more conviction.

Dahncer_the_reindeer you are my r*pe sleigh-ve now. And that's your greatest achievement- all you've ever amounted to, tugging and pulling my sleigh as we break the space time continuum together you complete fricking slut. I'll find you.

Snapshots:

https://x.com/gegegekman/status/1737767419983384891:

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