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SERGE they/them :marseylove:  1yr ago (youtube.com) 35 thread views #146454

Kevin Devine "Ballgame"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=HxccUqI3fA8

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:#marseydepressed:

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its my drinking song :)

When you realize it's a pattern, and not a phase, it's what you've become and that is what you will stay :marseyjamming:

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Stop drinking:marseysad:

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i cant, and if im being completely honest, i don't want to. its the only thing that makes me feel alive.

idk what my condition is, anhedonia, but thats not a diagnosis. but i'm always bored. not unhappy or anything. just bored.

but anhedonia doesnt fit. i do try to seek pleasure. nothing works.

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>The symptoms of anhedonia can include:

>social withdrawal

>diminished pleasure derived from daily activities

>a lack of relationships or withdrawal from previous relationships

>less of an interest in previous hobbies

>a loss of libido or a lack of interest in physical intimacy

I'd suggest you see a doctor but you clearly don't like that suggestion so ehhh.

I used to have a small opiate addiction nothing too major and some of those symptoms ring true to what I felt.

I think your drinking is making it impossible for you to enjoy things when you're sober.

If you're not too far into alcoholism and going cold turkey won't kill you, please try detoxing from it for two weeks and see how you feel. I guarantee you'll feel better.

:marseyhappy2:

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Have you tried meeting people?

I get you experience no pleasure from relationships and i'm not sure if you're straight or what but maybe what you need is an external force to keep you in check? Do you have any friends?

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>but some day around then, it all became awkward and unnatural

It's tough, I wish I could actually help you, sounds like you really should see a professional but yea...

It's frustrating for me as I know first hand what alcoholism does to people and it's why I rarely touch it.

The nightmare you're setting up for yourself is going to be very grim.

Try not to go too hard tonight.

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