what he do?? wrong answers only

"Ummm I am kinda I guess... selling it." He said with a high inflection.

"Yo. Dude. My man. You gotta cut me in. But frick dude. I didn't think yo butt was that hard neighbor."

Pepe blushed.

"Listen here neighbor, I gotta move a brick of coke. Ask them hoes you selling to if they like snow."

Pepe was super scared now. But he was too chickenshit to say no. So next day, he asked his cute coworker if she liked coke.

"OMG. I love coke. But it's so hard to find around here."

Pepe stammered out that he could maybe get some.

"That'd be great! Wow! How about you get some coke and come to my place on Saturday? I'm throwing a little party with some friends. Oh, bring weed too." wink

Pepe gulped loudly but agreed. She was cute and he was lonely. So Saturday came around and Pepe showed up with some prerolls and a couple 8 balls. Everyone welcomed him in with open arms.

"Ayyy this is the dude. This is Pepe! Right on dude! You're fricking cool!"

Pepe never felt this cool. He noticed that his coworker was even blushing. He's never made a girl blush before, so of course Pepe turned beet red. But anyways, the party commenced. Pepe drank and smoke but didn't touch the coke. He didn't want to get involved with a 'Hard Drug.' But eventually he was broken down and pressured into it.

"Pepe, dude, this blow frickin rocks! It's not cut with shit. Frick man, you gotta try it."

Pepe didn't want to appear to be a wuss in front of his new friends, so he did a baby line. Instant energy. It felt good. But not a bad good. Not a frick-your-life-up good. Just a frick-this-party-up good. Pepe raged fricking hard! It was a ridiculously fun time. And shit got wild. And Pepe... Pepe was the life of the party. Everyone loved him. Especially his coworker. She loved him so much, that when everyone started crashing on couches and the kitchen floor and wherever at like 6am, she dropped the question:

"Hey, Pepe come to my room. We'll sleep this party off."

And they did. She cuddled up to him and put her head on his chest. He could feel her breathing. Pepe hesitated for a moment. He was starting to sober up a little. Maybe it was the time, maybe it was the adrenaline. But either way, he touched her hair. BOIIIING! BONER ALERT! Pepe got so hard. He never touched a woman before. He was afraid to take things further that night, but this laid the foundation for a bright future.

In the afternoon, everyone left, including Pepe. Pepe went on with his life. But he was now not only the weed guy but also the coke guy.

These parties and events were happening more and more frequently. Pepe's crush had lots of friends it seemed. And lots of them were into partying. So most nights Pepe ended up somewhere strange with coke and weed. He was moving about $3k/week.

"Neighbor shit. You my main slinger now," Pepe's dealer said when he picked up his weekly order. "How about I give you some turf and some boys? You can sling this shit better than any neighbor I've ever seen."

Pepe was scared but didn't want to lose the plug. He also thought the idea of having anyone look up to him sound cool. So he agreed.

Unfortunately, things wouldn't work out so well for Pepe.

On his 'first day on the job,' he was told to go meet some dude at a barbershop. Pepe showed up. He was nervous. Super nervous. A little streak of shit leaked out of his butthole into his just-washed briefs. "uh oh. dookie." He thought to himself. In a way though, it made him chuckle and diffused some of his anxiety even if it was gross.

He arrived at the barbershop. He had a backpack with a brick of coke and unbeknownst to him, 1000 doses of fentanyl. Literally the second he opened the door and the attached little bell let out a soft ring, sirens outside blared. Cop cars swarmed the premises. They barged in and guns started going off everywhere.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Pepe was now really scared and that little streak of shit turned into a diarrhea shitstorm. In the end, all five of the shop 'patrons' and 'barbers' were killed. And Pepe was left crying in the corner. Stupidly, he was still wearing the backpack.

Pepe was arrested.

That leaves us to now. Pepe is fricked. He is going to pound-you-in-the-butt prison. He never even got to frick his coworker. All he ever did was cuddle a couple times. And now, his little green butt is gonna be wrecked for the next 20 years. He never got to feel the full embrace of a woman.

But that's not why he's crying. He's crying because the four pigs in the photo said:

"Hey guys. Let's act all serious. I know it's hard not to laugh. But I gotta get a photo with this loser. Man, I wanna hang this photo of poopy green pants on my desk. Holy frick. I ain't ever seen someone mess they drawers like that. And how he was crying and shaking too. Hahaha. Also, what a fricking r-slur for not taking off that backpack. No way would we have thought this pathetic dude was in on the game. We thought you were in some wrong-place wrong-time shit. Now your butt is going to prison with the big boys. Hold still boys. Act serious."

Tears swelled in Pepe's eyes as the camera snapped this photo.