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The Elon Litigation Cycle

1. FRICK AROUND: Create a completely avoidable problem for yourself by being a complete r-slur.

2. SELF-SOOTHE: Tell obvious lies about the situation and promise a legal comeuppance for your enemies. Bask in the uncritical praise of your double-digit-IQ fanbase.

3. FIND OUT: Go to court and get absolutely flayed when 100% of the evidence supports your opponent.

4. MEMORY HOLE: Lose badly and never mention it again.

This cycle repeats frequently. Consider:

Twitter acquisition

1. Sign an inviolable contract to buy Twitter. Twitter execs are baffled you agreed to their terms, having expected a counteroffer instead of a wet sig.

2. Look at Twitter's stock price and panic. Lie and say Twitter is infested with bots and you should be able to back out because of the contract language. Boast about going to court.

3. Go to court. Judge looks at contract which says "ELON MUST PAY" and goes, "Looks like Elon must pay."

4. Lose. Spend a huge fraction of your fortune buying Twitter for way above its market value. Pretend you didn't spend the better part of a year desperately trying not to buy it.

Threads lawsuit

1. Fire a huge fraction of your workforce after mere weeks at the company. These people are useless! Also let tons of extremely annoying rightoids back onto the platform.

2. Facebook is releasing a Twitter clone?! NUCLEAR-LEVEL LAWSUIT TIME! Sue them for stealing the idea of Twitter from me!!

3. Watch as Facebook shrugs and ignores your threats, simply saying everything in your lolsuit is false.

4. Lose. The court suggests politely to your celebrity attorney that he drop the suit to help you save face. Never mention the lawsuit again.

CCDH lawsuit

1. Let a bunch of annoying rightoids back onto the platform. They immediately begin /pol/posting. Soyboys at NGOs notice this and say, "Elon Musk is letting racists post racism." File a SLAPP against them for telling the truth about you.

2. Declare that the evidence of our eyes and ears is false, and promise that the courts will totally find that annoying rightoids are not posting overt racism on Twitter.

3. Go to court. The judge takes one look at the lawsuit, says "this is obviously an attempt to punish this NGO for free speech," and dismisses it out of hand.

4. Lose. Never mention the lawsuit again.

etc. I look forward to the Dutch sentencing Elon to cannibalization soon.

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What?

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another bombshell. is this the end for elon musk? he must be close to bankrupt.

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He has enough money to do this for the rest of his life. Alex Spiro has identified that filing frivolous lawsuits is an easy way to siphon away Musk's fortune, and Elon never, ever learns from his errors, so it will continue until one or both of them die.

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He has enough money to do this for the rest of his life.

based if true

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He has defense contract money. His shits gonna be fine forever

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