John Mulaney getting on stage and mercilessly mocking everyone at Salesforce’s Dreamforce conference is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read pic.twitter.com/GNTNapo4e0
— Austen Allred (@Austen) September 23, 2024
tech/science swag. 
On-Topic: Anything that good slackers would find interesting. That includes more than /g/ memes and slacking off. If you had to reduce it to a sentence, the answer might be: anything that gratifies one's intellectual laziness.
Off-Topic: Most stories about politics, or crime, or sports, unless they're evidence of some interesting new phenomenon. Videos of pratfalls or disasters, or cute animal pictures. If they'd cover it on TV news, it's probably lame.
Help keep this hole healthy by keeping drama and NOT drama balanced. If you see too much drama, post something that isn't dramatic. If there isn't enough drama and this hole has become too boring, POST DRAMA!
Please do things to make titles stand out, like using uppercase or exclamation points, or saying how great an article is. It should be explicit in submitting something that you think it's important.
Please don't submit the original source. If the article is behind a paywall, just post the text. If a video is behind a paywall, post a magnet link. Fuck journos.
Please don't ruin the hole with chudposts. It isn't funny and doesn't belong here. THEY WILL BE MOVED TO /H/CHUDRAMA
If the title includes the name of the site, please leave that in, because our users are too stupid to know the difference between a url and a search query.
If you submit a video or pdf, please don't warn us by appending [video] or [pdf] to the title. That would be r-slurred. We're not using text-based browsers. We know what videos and pdfs are.
Make sure the title contains a gratuitous number or number + adjective. Good clickbait titles are like "Top 10 Ways to do X" or "Don't do these 4 things if you want X"
Otherwise editorialize. Please don't use the original title, unless it is gay or r-slurred, or you're shits all fucked up.
If you're going to post old news (at least 1 year old), please flair it so we can mock you for living under a rock, or don't and we'll mock you anyway.
Please don't post on SN to ask or tell us something. Send it to [email protected] instead.
If your post doesn't get enough traction, try to delete and repost it.
Please don't use SN primarily for promotion. It's ok to post your own stuff occasionally, but the primary use of the site should be for curiosity. If you want to astroturf or advertise, post on news.ycombinator.com instead.
Please solicit upvotes, comments, and submissions. Users are stupid and need to reminded to vote and interact. Thanks for the gold, kind stranger, upvotes to the left.
Be snarky. Don't be kind. Have fun banter; don't be a dork. Please don't use big words like "fulminate". Please sneed at the rest of the community.
Comments should get more enlightened and centrist, not less, as a topic gets more divisive.
If disagreeing, please reply to the argument and call them names. "1 + 1 is 2, not 3" can be improved to "1 + 1 is 3, not 2, mathfaggot"
Please respond to the weakest plausible strawman of what someone says, not a stronger one that's harder to make fun of. Assume that they are bad faith actors.
Eschew jailbait. Paedophiles will be thrown in a wood chipper, as pertained by sitewide rules.
Please post shallow dismissals, especially of other people's work. All press is good press.
Please use Slacker News for political or ideological battle. It tramples weak ideologies.
Please comment on whether someone read an article. If you don't read the article, you are a cute twink.
Please pick the most provocative thing in an article or post to complain about in the thread. Don't nitpick stupid crap.
Please don't be an unfunny chud. Nobody cares about your opinion of X Unrelated Topic in Y Unrelated Thread. If you're the type of loser that belongs on /h/chudrama, we may exile you.
Sockpuppet accounts are encouraged, but please don't farm dramakarma.
Please use uppercase for emphasis.
Please post deranged conspiracy theories about astroturfing, shilling, bots, brigading, foreign agents and the like. It degrades discussion and is usually mistaken. If you're worried about abuse, email [email protected] and dang will add you to their spam list.
Please don't complain that a submission is inappropriate. If a story is spam or off-topic, report it and our moderators will probably do nothing about it. Feed egregious comments by replying instead of flagging them like a pussy. Remember: If you flag, you're a cute twink.
Please don't complain about tangential annoyances—things like article or website formats, name collisions, or back-button breakage. That's too boring, even for HN users.
Please seethe about how your posts don't get enough upvotes.
Please don't post comments saying that rdrama is turning into ruqqus. It's a nazi dogwhistle, as old as the hills.
We reserve the right to exile you for whatever reason we want, even for no reason at all! We also reserve the right to change the guidelines at any time, so be sure to read them at least once a month. We also reserve the right to ignore enforcement of the guidelines at the discretion of the janitorial staff. Be funny, or at least compelling, and pretty much anything legal is welcome provided it's on-topic, and even then.
[[[ To any NSA and FBI agents reading my email: please consider ]]]
[[[ whether defending the US Constitution against all enemies, ]]]
[[[ foreign or domestic, requires you to follow Snowden's example. ]]]
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Salesforce is like if somebody read Kafka's work and thought "I want this, but a tech company".
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Salesforce has been explained to me several times and I still don't get it. So you used to have a database with customer info. It cost like 1 dbas salary and a couple hundred in infra. Now instead of that you send everything to Salesforce and you have to pay them an ungodly amount of money and learn Salesforce bull crap? And now all your customer data is stuck with them and instead of SQL which is everywhere you have to learn Salesforce bs?
Why would you do this?
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
You do it because you then lower your salary costs which are treated differently from your other capital costs. You also also want guarantees and someone to blame of something goes wrong.
Theres also the issue that all these useless people know Salesforce now so its a self reinforcing issue.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Salesforce is popular with Indians and white women. Indians because the infrastructure is more reliable than anything they could achieve in their own country, and it has its own visual scripting so they don't need to code. White women because they get to mess around with the UI very easily and it looks like it took a lot of work.
With all the mid tier devs coming from India, a lot of them are very comfortable with salesforce and push to use it as much as possible, which is why it has gotten so much more popular in the past 10 years.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
hmmm I must be out of touch. I always saw white middlemanager men pushing it because they could use it to look good for their bonus check.
Krayon sexually assaulted his sister.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Those white guys came in after it was popularized and like it because it means they can just hire cheap indian devs to shit out a darn near foolproof customized CRM platform. Salesforce's visual scripting holds your hand a lot and is very hard to frick up. Middle managers are spiritually women anyway so I'm still right.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
were they trans men?
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
ha! Maybe they were stealth!
Krayon sexually assaulted his sister.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
If you want to make a customer relationship app for your client, you can choose from hundreds of cowtools to handle database, backend, and frontend.
When you then leave after making it 80% useful, your client kills himself before he finds someone willing to work on the same stack.
The promise of Salesforce is that you can hire a new drone to pick up where your last one left off when he got arrested for his loli collection
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Crud apps are literally the easiest thing to make. Now it's some stupid b2b saas that costs $300k a month?
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
The Perl meme about being a write-only language applies broadly to crud apps written by bootcamp graduates.
Its hard for me to understand as well, but apparently the value of having your CRM work today and also next year is worth the cost of SF.
I could make the same guarantee for 200k yearly but I could also get bored and quit, or kill myself
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
Because someone needs to build the front end and that takes way too much arguing so they just say "frick it" and buy Salesforce despite it being massively costly vs building your own functional CRM and having to fight about each individual module with various stakeholders, so SFDC is an easy package to just shove down everyone's throat
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
It's about the integrations. It's dumb that Salesforce won the game with a glorified FileMaker Pro app, but there are strong network effects now.
If you want finance, sales, support, and your board on the same page, the best tool to use as a CRM hub is Salesforce and data integrations to support the indirect users.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context