Got pizzashilled so have some vampire dad jokes:
Q: How does a hacker vampire kill its victims?
A: With a kill-o-byte.
Q: Do you know why I broke up with my vampire girlfriend?
A: Because she sucked the life out of me.
Q: Where do vampires eat their lunch?
A: At the casketeria.
Q: How many vampires will it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, why would they need it.
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: The vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q: Why are vampire clans so loyal?
A: Because blood is thicker than water.
Q: Why did the vampire go to the blood bank?
A: He needed to make a withdrawal!
Q: What do you call a vampire who went to the beach?
A: Ash
Q: Why don’t vampires like mosquitos?
A: Too much competition.
Q: Why don’t mosquitoes bite vampires?
A: It’s a professional courtesy.
Q: What did the child vampire say before going to bed?
A: “Turn on the dark mummy, I’m scared of the light.”
Q: Why did the vampire keep acting all batty?
A: It was in his blood.
Q: Why do vampires chew gum?
A: Because they have bat breath.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite dessert?
A: You scream and I scream.
Q: What’s a vampires worst fear?
A: Tooth decay!
Q: What should you never yell at a vampire while arguing?
A: Bite me!
Q: Why are vampires bad artists?
A: Because they always want to draw blood.
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