How it feels to be both a slime AND a vampire

Even if I get staked I'm pretty sure it will just get absorbed into my body without causing any real damage. Conversely, it's hard for me to bite people so I just sort of absorb them (nom nom nom ((O_v-v_O))and they get digested until I get to the blood. I spit the bones out and create cute little skeletons out of people. I also listen to a lot of goth metal these days. Have you guys ever heard of Type O Negative? Why do goth girls only date hardcore/industrial scene guys, what's up with that?