“Pay no mind to that one. He’s just another town shame.”

The wanderer turned to see a boy staring at him. A mere child, but one he’d already heard so much about.

Everyone in the village seemed to hate him.

The man was a desert nomad by the name of A. Evan. A drifter who made his way from village to village, temporarily passing through this community as he continued his endless pilgrimage. Reddit was a peaceful town, the kind where people kept their heads down and to themselves. It was a minor event to receive a stranger of any kind.

It wasn’t long before the wanderer met the local bard, a self-proclaimed community leader named Finn. The bard wanted to know everyone in town, or rather he wanted everyone to know him.

“I swear this place is cursed.” He continued, downing another soy based product. “Time was this town was founded by three wizards; Spez, Knothing, and Swartz. Well Knothing doesn’t do much these days and Swartz offed himself – cast a rope spell on his own neck. We’ve had no shortage of problems ever since; Darq wolves, the ekjp war, run-ins with that black mage they call Forchan.”

The wanderer sipped his Egyptian mint tea. “That bad, huh?”

“And that’s saying nothing about the home grown nutjobs.” The bard seethed. “We’ve had guys sticking potatoes in their anuses and guys getting into fights over jackdaws. We even had this guy named Lawlz who wouldn’t shut up about the tenth in the clan of Ben.” A smile seized his face, the man’s frustration morphing into sinister pride. “But it was nothing in the end. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Cos you see,” He continued without prompting. “I have a deal with Spez. If my comrades and I say someone’s a problem – a chud – he makes them go away. We’re the forces of Anti-Evil, and we keep this town in line.”

Mr Evan had been wandering a long time, and he was no stranger to the land of Internetia and her many fiefdoms. He knew what the bard was getting at. “So I should stay in line? If I don’t want any trouble?”

“Now you’re getting it. Just refrain from anything problematic and we’ll all get along fine.”

He turned to confirm the pair of eyes still on his neck. “What about the boy? Why does Reddit hate him so much?”

“He just spreads drama.” The bard sneered. “Everyone here knows his routine, so he loves new faces. He’ll probably harass you at some point.”

“So take my advice and ignore him.”

“Did you know Hotep isn’t actually black?”

The boy had ambushed the wanderer later that day, appearing without warning as he browsed the marketplace. This non sequitir came from an eager smile, the boy apparently amused to find a new face among regulars.

“Excuse me? Who is… Hotep?”

But the boy didn’t clarify. He darted back into the crowds then, only to reemerge several times with new lines of gossip.

“Did you know Phedre and Lawlz had an affair?”

“And Chapose used to be a wizard?”

“August is really a woman.”

“El-El-Em doesn’t actually own any land.”

“Carpathia isn’t actually a real place.”

“Real Homocracy has never been tried.”

The townspeople who saw this repeatedly told him to ignore the boy. Claimed that he’d surely lose interest if he didn’t get any attention.

But the wanderer couldn’t help but dwell. He’d seen this before, the loneliness of those who didn’t belong in their communities. The next time the boy came to him, he tried something different.

“So Hotep isn’t black, huh?”

The boy looked a little surprised. Most people didn’t engage back. “T-That’s right. He uses illusory magic to give himself a black appearance.”

“I believe you. I imagine a real black man wouldn’t call himself Hotep.” The wanderer knelt down to speak to the boy at eye level. “But you know, in a way, he really is black.”

“Huh?”

“If you’ve only seen black Hotep, then the Hotep persona you know is black. Maybe there is a white Hotep out there.”

He thought about it. “But since we’ve never seen white Hotep, the Hotep we’re familiar with–”

“May as well be black, yes. Perception of reality is our reality, and so it is with gossip and drama.”

His little eyes lit up. “You’re different from the others.”

“Oh?”

“No one’s ever… responded before. You… You like drama too?”

The wanderer grinned. “So what if I do?”

“Well… Finn wouldn’t like it. He hates any kind of fun, and he wouldn’t let you stay if he knew.”

“I see.”

“Want to know another secret?” The boy’s tone fell to a whisper. “The bard used to have a wife and child.”

“Used to?”

“He beat them.” He paused, unsure if he wanted to continue. The wanderer knew this gossip was different from the rest. The boy was scared yet alive with the dark necessity of a whistleblower’s truth. “Beat them until they left him. Finn doesn’t want people to know this, so now he’s our ‘Anti-Evil’ leader. It’s like he thinks he can get other people in trouble so no one looks at him.”

“Projecting his own crimes into a moral crusade. I’ve seen this before.”

“But there’s nothing anyone can do. He has blackmail on Spez, the remaining wizard, so no one can talk back to him without getting exiled themselves.”

“And he knows I know, too. That’s why he tells people to ignore me.”

It made sense to the wanderer, though it also didn’t explain why everyone was wary of the dramautist. “You know, more people would believe you if you didn’t spread gossip. Why not just behave? Follow the rules?”

“That would be boring.” He answered confidently. “I love gossip.”

“So drama is its own reward?”

“Dude bussy.” He proclaimed. “Lmao.” He added.

Reddit wouldn’t stay peaceful for long. The next morning the boy went around claiming Finn’s house had been broken into. No one believed him until the bard himself appeared in a fright, frantically calling for help until a mob formed in the square. Even the wizard Spez appeared at his bidding.

“Someone broke into my lockbox! Stole all of my savings!” He raised his arms dramatically and commanded as though the town were his personal army. “And they have to pay! We cannot give this chud the oxygen of amplification!”

They were soon in an uproar. “So the boy was telling the truth?”

“Someone did take Finn’s money?”

But accustomed to his gossip, they started to wonder why the boy had suddenly been truthful.

“I bet it was him!”

“Trying to cover his tracks!”

And the “wholesome” community soon devolved into a witch-hunting mob unseen since the great bombing of Boston.

“He’s gone too far this time! He has to pay!”

“We’ll get him to confess! Even if we have to get rough!”

They prowled towards the child’s usual hangout, all of them screaming for the drama-lover’s blood. One man blocked their way, the only man who didn’t belong to Reddit.

“You!” Finn spat. “Get out of our way, or you’ll be next!”

“But you’re just looking for your money, right?” The wanderer grinned as he retrieved a thick sack filled with Kind Strangers, the currency of the village. “No need to keep searching.”

“You stole it?!”

“No. I didn’t want your gold. Not even your argentium.” The stranger stunned the mob by tossing the sack towards the bard. “There’s your entire fortune. You can count it if you want.”

It was indeed all there. “Then why? Why brand yourself a chud?!”

“Because I wanted to find the blackmail you have on Spez.”

“Impossible! I don’t keep it with my–”

Finn immediately covered his mouth, but the bard’s kneejerk reaction had taken its toll. The mob soon turned on him.

“You have what?!”

“That’s why Spez listens to him! Why he banishes anyone Finn orders him to!”

“Who moderates the moderators?!”

Spez saw his chance to be rid of the bard’s influence. “You are hereby cast out! Banished to the hellish field of Ay-Ehch-Ehss!”

“So Finn’s gone? The town is back to normal?”

“Seems that way. Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know…” The boy dropped his gaze. He was grateful to Mr. Evan, but he clearly didn’t fit in here. “People still won’t listen to me. Everyone in Reddit just hates drama.”

“I understand.” The wanderer spoke with paternal warmth. “I love drama myself, and I hate people that confuse peace with quiet. The bard may be gone but there will always be tyrants like him as a community settles. When it decides moderating a space is more important than growing it. The old community becomes a “Nu” community of power-tripping and cliquishness, and the old magic is lost.”

“But… Reddit is all I’ve ever known.”

“Then come with me.” He offered earnestly. “And we will find something new. A place where those who love drama are welcomed.”

“Could that be a real place?”

“Dude bussy.” The wanderer stated, with an addendum of, “Lmao.”

The boy decided to trust. To believe he’d found a kindred soul.

And together they left Reddit. Ever in search of a homeland for drama.

This is my entry for the fanfiction contest. !bookworms !besties !dramatards please I worked hard on it. I even gave it a title.