If you want to understand why your 22-28 year old staff have wildly confused understanding of professional norms - there's currently a (mildly satirical) LinkedIn post by a WFH SDR talking about how he spends a bunch of time throughout his "average day" changing diapers of his…

— Peter Kazanjy (@Kazanjy) May 17, 2024

Lots of people calling him a peepeehead or robot mostly:

https://twitter.com/eliotpszw/status/1791700444219371614

https://twitter.com/TheSalesBull1/status/1791592129460125797

https://twitter.com/Kazanjy/status/1791898443222585526

Makes a whiny post about it the next day:

https://twitter.com/Kazanjy/status/1792353196477944076

kaist @kaistpr professor jinjoon "vendetta" lee @jinjoon_lee forced me to send a fairly large sum of money to his wife's bank account, under threat of withdrawing an offer to be a postdoc in his lab. university leadership such as president kwang hyung lee did nothing about this pic.twitter.com/ENqePsXuxH

— Air Katakana (@airkatakana) May 23, 2024

!goomblers and !goyslopenjoyers crossover!, for any of you who have gone to casinos - what was the food like?, if you were a gambler, were you offered free comps and stuff?, or have any of you just gone to casinos simply to eat and stuff?

The price is too high....

Perhaps we can come to an agreement?

Total 'Jak Death

!metashit

My dear commenters, this is an r-slured concept but its pretty fun. You have been given a scenario and you must achieve your quest of getting marsey a birthday present . I will be the neutral arbiter who will help or hinder you in achieving your goal.

You awaken in your room with pj's on. In the fever dream of a nightmare you had last night, a glimmer of truth was revealed to you; you didn't get your beloved cat, Marsey, a birthday present! How foolish of you! You must get your present before the party starts at noon. You also must get a birthday cake, party decorations, and a clown.

Post your replies in a single comment chain, branching paths will be converged into a single path. Post your comments and I'll maintain continuity as they're posted. If it ends up being too much of a clusterfrick I'll just ignore some comments.

!ttrpg

The story so far...

You started the day by drinking some water from the sink. It was salty. You attempted to whip out your monster peepee, but to no avail. You checked your pockets and found a few items (inventory will be listed at the bottom). You asked your mother to drive you and she said she would for 2 bpp (big person points) which you accepted. You put on your gear and washed your face and go downstairs to get a poptart. While mommy is cooking that, you stole her wallet and hid it in your nonbinary anus before getting into the car and driving to the Gigaplex (a mall downtown). You've entered the Gigaplex and looked around. What you saw was as follows: CLOWN WORLD, Freddy Fazbear's freddy fazbear, Greasy's Breadburger Joint, Shopaholic DX, Mark's Mann's Firing Range, Delicious Doggy, Party City, Hot Topic, a pretty big guy, the food court, and a whole bunch of hylics. [You Are Here]

inventory:

[Mildly C*m-Stained Marvel T-Shirt] - a terribly drawn depiction of you and black panther making out

[Grey Sweatpants] - nothing of note about these, thankfully

[Panama Hat] - This hat kind of looks like a fedora so you wear it

[Camo Crocs] - You forgot to put these on. Wait, no they're on. Frick.

[Morbius Backpack] - You HATE this backpck, but the batman one is missing

[Wallet] - Its one of those privacy wallets with the lock and chain, you got it when you were 12 and its barely holding on with a great deal of duct tape

[Bent Fork] - idk maybe you could use this as a weapon or something

[Flip phone] - also obtained when you were 12, only contacts are your mother and your significant other who's off in china probably screwing massive black bulls

[Marsey Meese Membership Card] - its like chuck e cheese if rdrama invented it, you probably have some free pizzas on this thing or something so its worth keeping around

[Mommy's Wallet] - you cleverly stole this from your mommy and hid it in your gunt. This is probably going to be your main source of cash so good thinking

@Spiderman, dont forget to remember the future!