@zozbot's comment on 'The Top 5 rDrama.net users (official)'

Zozbot - Super underappreciated little fella. Nothing brightens my day more than seeing some chump posting some stupid chump shit and then this king comes along and zozzes the bastard.
Snappy - I'm sure this placement will be controversial, since Snappy is an icon, but sometimes you just need something new. While beautiful and beloved, Snappy is more like your wife of 30 years, and Zozchamp is the 20 year old secretary with the fake tits and massive peepee - fresh, nubile and exciting.
Longpostbot - I am only including him here so that he will maybe stop ridiculing me for my heartfelt comments.
Aevann - Practically a bot himself, Aevann is capable of literally anything. "Hey, can we do this cool idea that like 3 people will ever even notice?" I ask. "I don't even know what that means but it doesn't sound possible and I'd have no idea where to even start lol sorry" he replies. Then 10-20 hours later he pops back in with "OK I HAVEN'T SLEPT OR EATEN OR BLINKED BUT IT'S WORKING KING" and this is in no way hyperbolic.
Carp - Likely even more controversial than Snappy's #2 placement, I understand the inevitable tidal wave of outrage from this guy not coming in at the #1 spot. It's called subverting expectations though. It's a narrative device. Get some culture in your life. You're disgusting. Carp isn't.