Thanks to @BARD_BOT making the entire corpus of Bardfinn's Reddit comments available as a SQLLite database, many Bardologists are now able to maintain local archives of Bardfinn's work.
This enables much faster querying without relying on a web service and API being up and running.
One event which always piques my curiosity is the time Bardfinn was r*ped. Here are a number of comments describing the incident. It's interesting how the story evolves and he changes focus depending on the audience.
July 2013
I was tied up and r*ped by a girlfriend, about ten years ago. I did not realise she was a sociopath before it happened. It was shaming and emotionally disturbing. It made it very difficult to be vulnerable to anyone, has damaged relationships I've had since. I couldn't report it because she said that because I had an erection, I liked it, and if I reported it she'd say I r*ped her (she was 5'2", I'm 6'3"). Plus we weren't in the United States when it happened. That relationship was over, then, but I didn't escape her for a few weeks afterwards - I had no phone, no Internet, had been cut off from my friends, and no place to go, when it happened, and afterwards. It caused me to drop into deep depression. I've been able to enjoy s*x since then, mainly because I am careful to avoid situations that remind me of the r*pe β I can't bear the thought of being on a boat, or leaving the country, or flying with someone somewhere (she r*ped me on a cruise ship).
September 2013
I was invited on a cruise. We were boyfriend/girlfriend, lovers. shared a cabin. All my money was on the card they issued. No cash or credit cards on board, so they wouldn't be stolen. All the money on the card she gambled away in the first hour after we hit international waters. Back in the cabin- "Let's try the fuzzy handcuffs". Sure, why not. "I'm going to tie your feet" uhm, ok, if this is your thing. I trust you. - vitriol. Abuse. Hate. Awful things. Things I had told her in confidence, twisted. I was in tears. Then she r*ped me. On a cruise ship, in international waters, and told me that if I told anyone, she'd say I r*ped her. Worse things, too. When she untied me, I didn't sleep. I spent most of the rest of the cruise on the deck during inclement weather, except when I was expected to turn up at a function (dinner, embarking). A few weeks later, I told her to never contact me again. That was 2003. I still have agoraphobia. I turned down a trip to Europe last year with a lover - I can't trust people. My relationships fail. I'm afraid to go near water. Beach sand makes me anxious.
December 2013
... I'm a r*pe survivor. I was asked, by a 'friend', to go on a cruise. I'm a 6'3", 200+ pound, fit adult male. My 'friend' is a 5'0", petite adult woman. Nothing r-slurred there, right? We shared a cabin. Nothing r-slurred there, right? We were dating. Does this constitute "having to accept" what happened to me? She handcuffed me, gagged me, tied me, and r*ped me - while verbally, emotionally, physically, and psychically abusing me. I got to learn how her medical hypodermic could be used to kill me. My body would be dropped off in a foreign country, and probably buried or cremated there. I got to learn what it feels like to be put in stress positions for hours on end, with a dildo in my butt. I got free bruises from being beaten with a stick. I got scratched deeply by her fingernails. I had the opportunity to watch her hold parts of my body over a cigarette lighter. She took pictures. Blackmail material. She made it very clear up front that if I ever came forward about it, she would claim that I was the one who r*ped her. Because who would believe that a 5'0" petite woman could r*pe a tall adult man? She told me that I was a check mark on her bucket list: r*pe a man, have the experience of it. She put three months of effort into isolating me from my friends and family and convincing me that she was a sane person, and that I was safe in her company, to get me on the cruise, on international waters. I found out later that she is a clinical sociopath and that the only way she can get excited is to prey on the powerless. Do I deserve to have to accept what happened to me? DO I?
October 2016
I was violently r*ped, at knifepoint, by the woman who invited me on a cruise, thirteen years ago. She tricked me into handcuffs and then tied me up and then r*ped me, and cut me. I still have the scar on my forearm. She told me she'd claim I tried to r*pe her, if I came forward, and no-one would believe that a 5'2" woman r*ped a 6'3" man. She told me the US police would never believe me, and the police in the third-world nation we made port in would just throw me in a hole and let me rot. She told me she wanted the thrill of raping a man. It happened on a foreign-registered cruise ship on international waters. I was never going to get justice.
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She told me over and over I wasn't a child spy in East Germany!!!!! AHHHH!!!!
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BARD BOT ALERT!Current streak was: 0 days 00 hours 07 minutes and 48 seconds
Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
rdrama is currently running at 325.231 Β΅Bardyhertz
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When you chuds make fun of Penny for being a shut in or never bathing, you're just mocking a r*pe victim for being r*ped.
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By a 5'0" woman
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She was 5'2 in most of them!
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I wish Bardfinn r*ped me.
God that would be so hot. She'd probably tie a bike chain to your neck and use bike oil as lube. Nice gorilla black bike oil. So thick.
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BARD BOT ALERT!Current streak was: 0 days 00 hours 14 minutes and 03 seconds
Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
Best friend is ACA with 291 mentions
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Holy shit what a cute twink !male feminists
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I r*ped bardfinn !male feminists
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BARD BOT ALERT!Current streak was: 0 days 00 hours 45 minutes and 55 seconds
Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
longest streak broken in the last 7 days was FormerLurKONG which was 0 days 10 hours 01 minutes and 40 seconds
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Lying about getting r*ped. Huh, she really is a woman.
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Females have taught us that if you contradict yourself with your r*pe story or it doesn't make any sense, that's just muh trauma and shame and misogyny and patriarchy.
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@QuadNarca
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I was wondering when he'd finally work up to getting pegged in this sordid little fantasy of his.
When is the first time he claims to be trans? Was it before or after he said he was born a hermaphrodite?
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@pizzaJill and Barfbinn enter a low-end cabin on a broke down cruise ship in Lazero Cardenas.
Who survives π€
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Believe all women (only as far as you can throw them)
Putting the in
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Every fricking month on twitter there's some apebrained moron trying to be superior over another random thing.
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