My brother is a year younger than I and two academic years behind me. He has no idea what he wants to do in life, has no appreciable talents or skills, and has likely not read a book he wasn't forced to read since he was 12. He likes Seinfeld, the Office, and pop music. He literally cannot carry a meaningful conversation for more than 10 minutes, because he has no real interests.
That said, my brother has a car, a girlfriend, a large group of friends and an active social life. He talks (never to me, only to our parents, who tell it to me) about all the times he's gone on a luxury vacation with his friends and some girl basically threw herself at him (but he definitely didn't cheat on his girlfriend 
), or how he had such a great time at a concert in this cool nightclub. He has a management job opportunity at a large corporate gig that lets him basically work 6 hour days where he makes more than I do.
I just got back from having to pick up his car for him after he got too dunk to drive it. When I was driving it home, looking at all the people coming in and out of nightclubs, I had some really bad thoughts. I'm on medication that normally keeps me from having them, and I have to talk to someone regularly who makes sure I don't have them, but I had them on that ride home.
Edit: this post was incredibly cringe. I was being a whiney cute twink who just wanted attention. I'm actually in a pretty good place in life all things considered. 
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That I am trapped in this particular irrelevancy is never more apparent to me than when I am banned from meta posts. Paralyzed by the neurotic lassitude engendered by meeting one's old meta posts at every turn, around every page refresh, inside my browser history, I go aimlessly from thread to thread. I decide to meet it head-on and sort by Old, and I view the contents on the page. A carp poll about Vampires and Furries. A Masterlawlz post, a photo of an butthole. My own posts begging to scam people. There is no final photo of an butthole for me to find. Nor is there any new polls from Carp, begging people for attention. I refresh the frontpage and look into its face, and do and do not see anything new. I close the webpage, and have another cup of coffee with Aevann. We get along very well, veterans of a guerilla war we never understood.
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