Incels' suffering is not due to them not having s*x/relationships/etc. It's due to them wanting s*x/relationships/etc and not being able to get it or not being able to get it in the way they would like. If they condition the mind to release their desire for s*x/relationships/etc then they would unironically turn out happier and more joyful than normies who have to deal with the chains and downsides of s*x/relationships/etc
If they condition the mind to release their desire for sx/relationships/etc then they would unironically turn out happier and more joyful than normies who have to deal with the chains and downsides of sx/relationships/etc
This is where the whole "therapy" thing loses me. Unless you're asexual, which often has to do with a chemical/hormone balance, humans have a natural desire for s*x/relationships/etc. In my view, if you have to condition yourself to not want those things, you're suppressing a human instinct and lying to yourself.
Just like the fattoids who say they're happy about being fat, I truly think terminally single lie to themselves when they say being single is as good or better as being in a loving/committed relationship and/or having an active s*x life. If given the choice with no drawbacks, who is taking the former over the latter?
In short, therapy seems to mask the problem, not provide solutions to the problem
Buddhists are just like any other extremist with a good idea. You shouldn't try to purge yourself of impulse, but allowing your life to be ruled by shit that's out of your control, like some foid choosing to frick you, will magnify your suffering
Therapy may work for some things for some people but it is certainly not the whole path and it is not what I am talking about.
if you have to condition yourself to not want those things, you're suppressing a human instinct and lying to yourself.
There are a lot of "natural" desires that lead to pain, confusion and hatred. A would-be male feminist or murderer or libertarian may work against their base desires and in doing so increase their happiness and wellbeing and increase the happiness and wellbeing of society as a whole.
If sexual/romantic attachments are what causes you pain, if there is no realistic path for you to to fulfill that desire, and if there were a realistic path that conditioned your mind into letting go of these sexual/romantic attachments, then in what sense is following the path of release and happiness lying to yourself? It would be a bigger lie and a bigger delusion to say to yourself "This desire is who I am. I cannot live without this desire. I also cannot obtain the object of my desire. I cannot let go of this desire. There is therefore nothing I can do to be happy. I will either be miserable and hateful or I will kill myself." The truth is, however, that these people can be happy. And they are closer to bliss than they realize.
There are a lot of "natural" desires that lead to pain, confusion and hatred. A would-be male feminist or murderer or p-dophile may work against their base desires and in doing so increase their happiness and wellbeing and increase the happiness and wellbeing of society as a whole.
Those aren't "natural" desires bc if even 10% of the population was like that and acted on their desires it would lead to the world being a noticeable worse place. By conditioning yourself against those desires, you are actually becoming a better person. Wanting an active romantic or sexual life is natural in the sense that both are needed for society to function. If you have to condition yourself against those desires bc of an inability to attain them, you're becoming content with your failure to live as a normal human being. You're more or less accepting being a failure of a human being.
The truth is, however, that these people can be happy. And they are closer to bliss than they realize.
I see your point here. As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss. The only thing I'd add is that without a romantic life, other aspects of your life also suffer. Most of your social circle will likely become married or at the very least have LTRs, and you'll effectively be barred from "couples" activities. And when they inevitably have children forget it. You'll also be seen as weird in the workplace and other social settings (as would a libertarian or a murderer) bc there's clearly something WRONG with you if no one can love you. So learning to cope with being an incel involves coping with the fact that other areas of your life will also noticeably suffer. At a point, you do have to question whether death would be a preferable alternative.
I think it becomes a good alternative as soon as the pain of living outweighs the suffering/grief your death would cause. There's no real way to measure this, but I'd say it's a safe bet when your parents die or when your social life becomes close to nonexistent
Wanting an active romantic or sexual life is natural in the sense that both are needed for society to function.
Society does not need everyone to procreate to function. Stewing on the fabrication that "I am a failed human being" is unskillful and does not lead to happiness.
ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance of the causes of suffering and the path to the cessation of the causes of suffering is the opposite of bliss. By these people continuing to delude themselves by fabricating and attaching to things that cause them pain they are muddying their mind and not seeing clearly the path to happiness.
The attachment to fulfill certain roles in the workplace and social settings are also fabrications which, if released, will lead to bliss. Additionally, there are social circles you can join that will aid you in happiness.
And, finally, suicide does not solve anything. It is not an escape. Those who commit suicide suffer intense pain and suffering in their next life. Those who commit suicide may very well wish that their past selves had not been so ignorant as to how the conditioning of the mind affects the world we find ourselves in.
Maybe you're right. I suppose there are many things in life that can lead to happiness, but no one is entitled to them. Although I see having to condition yourself to live without something as common as s*x or romance as very bleak, maybe if someone searches hard enough they could find other areas that make their lives worth living. I'll just add my takes to your following points, even though I do appreciate your overall message.
The attachment to fulfill certain roles in the workplace and social settings are also fabrications which, if released, will lead to bliss.
Wanting to be able to maintain current friendships and make new ones due to shared lived experiences is not a fabrication. I see your point in other areas, but this is one thing where I'll wholeheartedly disagree – wanting socialization and some level of acceptance is not a "fabrication" or "social construct." It's perhaps the only thing that most people feel gives their lives meaning.
Additionally, there are social circles you can join that will aid you in happiness.
I wouldn't mind having a terminally single social circle, but I have yet to find a group of incels w similar interests.
And, finally, suicide does not solve anything. It is not an escape. Those who commit suicide suffer intense pain and suffering in their next life. Those who commit suicide may very well wish that their past selves had not been so ignorant as to how the conditioning of the mind affects the world we find ourselves in.
Agree only if there is an afterlife similar to one like the Christians believe. Otherwise it's the only permanent escape or way to truly be at peace.
Perhaps I was too quick in how I addressed social situations. Being with good friends is certainly an enjoyable experience. It was wonderful talking with you. I wish you happiness in all that you do. May you have a great day.
Whenever I actually follow the Path I feel blissful, clear-minded and loving. Whenever I followed other paths previously (whether religious or materialist) I had nagging feelings of doubt, of insecurity, of brain fog, of confusion, and of constant pain, anxiety and torment.
I hope you find the way to peace and bliss as well.
Stay ignorant of how the conditioning of the mind can lead to suffering.
This is authenticity.
Analyze, develop skill in, and be clear-minded about how the conditioning of the mind can lead to great peace and happiness.
This is cope.
This is a set of beliefs that will only lead to further ignorance and dissatisfaction. Pain isn't the hallmark of authenticity. Choosing to condition the mind to follow the path to live a happy, intelligent, and loving life isn't cope. It's the most sane thing a person could possibly do.
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Incels' suffering is not due to them not having s*x/relationships/etc. It's due to them wanting s*x/relationships/etc and not being able to get it or not being able to get it in the way they would like. If they condition the mind to release their desire for s*x/relationships/etc then they would unironically turn out happier and more joyful than normies who have to deal with the chains and downsides of s*x/relationships/etc
!sangha
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No shit Buddha
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This is where the whole "therapy" thing loses me. Unless you're asexual, which often has to do with a chemical/hormone balance, humans have a natural desire for s*x/relationships/etc. In my view, if you have to condition yourself to not want those things, you're suppressing a human instinct and lying to yourself.
Just like the fattoids who say they're happy about being fat, I truly think terminally single lie to themselves when they say being single is as good or better as being in a loving/committed relationship and/or having an active s*x life. If given the choice with no drawbacks, who is taking the former over the latter?
In short, therapy seems to mask the problem, not provide solutions to the problem
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Buddhists are just like any other extremist with a good idea. You shouldn't try to purge yourself of impulse, but allowing your life to be ruled by shit that's out of your control, like some foid choosing to frick you, will magnify your suffering
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Therapy may work for some things for some people but it is certainly not the whole path and it is not what I am talking about.
There are a lot of "natural" desires that lead to pain, confusion and hatred. A would-be male feminist or murderer or libertarian may work against their base desires and in doing so increase their happiness and wellbeing and increase the happiness and wellbeing of society as a whole.
If sexual/romantic attachments are what causes you pain, if there is no realistic path for you to to fulfill that desire, and if there were a realistic path that conditioned your mind into letting go of these sexual/romantic attachments, then in what sense is following the path of release and happiness lying to yourself? It would be a bigger lie and a bigger delusion to say to yourself "This desire is who I am. I cannot live without this desire. I also cannot obtain the object of my desire. I cannot let go of this desire. There is therefore nothing I can do to be happy. I will either be miserable and hateful or I will kill myself." The truth is, however, that these people can be happy. And they are closer to bliss than they realize.
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Those aren't "natural" desires bc if even 10% of the population was like that and acted on their desires it would lead to the world being a noticeable worse place. By conditioning yourself against those desires, you are actually becoming a better person. Wanting an active romantic or sexual life is natural in the sense that both are needed for society to function. If you have to condition yourself against those desires bc of an inability to attain them, you're becoming content with your failure to live as a normal human being. You're more or less accepting being a failure of a human being.
I see your point here. As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss. The only thing I'd add is that without a romantic life, other aspects of your life also suffer. Most of your social circle will likely become married or at the very least have LTRs, and you'll effectively be barred from "couples" activities. And when they inevitably have children forget it. You'll also be seen as weird in the workplace and other social settings (as would a libertarian or a murderer) bc there's clearly something WRONG with you if no one can love you. So learning to cope with being an incel involves coping with the fact that other areas of your life will also noticeably suffer. At a point, you do have to question whether death would be a preferable alternative.
I think it becomes a good alternative as soon as the pain of living outweighs the suffering/grief your death would cause. There's no real way to measure this, but I'd say it's a safe bet when your parents die or when your social life becomes close to nonexistent
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Society does not need everyone to procreate to function. Stewing on the fabrication that "I am a failed human being" is unskillful and does not lead to happiness.
Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance of the causes of suffering and the path to the cessation of the causes of suffering is the opposite of bliss. By these people continuing to delude themselves by fabricating and attaching to things that cause them pain they are muddying their mind and not seeing clearly the path to happiness.
The attachment to fulfill certain roles in the workplace and social settings are also fabrications which, if released, will lead to bliss. Additionally, there are social circles you can join that will aid you in happiness.
And, finally, suicide does not solve anything. It is not an escape. Those who commit suicide suffer intense pain and suffering in their next life. Those who commit suicide may very well wish that their past selves had not been so ignorant as to how the conditioning of the mind affects the world we find ourselves in.
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Maybe you're right. I suppose there are many things in life that can lead to happiness, but no one is entitled to them. Although I see having to condition yourself to live without something as common as s*x or romance as very bleak, maybe if someone searches hard enough they could find other areas that make their lives worth living. I'll just add my takes to your following points, even though I do appreciate your overall message.
Wanting to be able to maintain current friendships and make new ones due to shared lived experiences is not a fabrication. I see your point in other areas, but this is one thing where I'll wholeheartedly disagree – wanting socialization and some level of acceptance is not a "fabrication" or "social construct." It's perhaps the only thing that most people feel gives their lives meaning.
I wouldn't mind having a terminally single social circle, but I have yet to find a group of incels w similar interests.
Agree only if there is an afterlife similar to one like the Christians believe. Otherwise it's the only permanent escape or way to truly be at peace.
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Perhaps I was too quick in how I addressed social situations. Being with good friends is certainly an enjoyable experience. It was wonderful talking with you. I wish you happiness in all that you do. May you have a great day.
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How does it feel to follow a religion entirely based on cope?
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I don't follow one like that anymore.
Whenever I actually follow the Path I feel blissful, clear-minded and loving. Whenever I followed other paths previously (whether religious or materialist) I had nagging feelings of doubt, of insecurity, of brain fog, of confusion, and of constant pain, anxiety and torment.
I hope you find the way to peace and bliss as well.
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"constant pain, anxiety and torment" is authenticity. Your life sucks. Stop coping
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This is a set of beliefs that will only lead to further ignorance and dissatisfaction. Pain isn't the hallmark of authenticity. Choosing to condition the mind to follow the path to live a happy, intelligent, and loving life isn't cope. It's the most sane thing a person could possibly do.
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