I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldpeepee the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
Enrico_MotassaHank/Hank
Got my hat now it’s time to grill bb 🥓
1yr ago#2659467
spent 0 currency on pings
this is pretty amazing because I didn't want to be marsified with no possibility of it being turned off, but I definitely wanted to be marsified for awhile
RWBYGambol/Shroud
Chapose was a good adminRWBY 1yr ago#2659528
spent 0 currency on pings
The earliest known appearance of the phrase was in The Boston Journal. In an article titled "Current Notes" in the February 9, 1885, edition, the phrase is mentioned as a good practice sentence for writing students: "A favorite copy set by writing teachers for their pupils is the following, because it contains every letter of the alphabet: 'A quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.'"[2] Dozens of other newspapers published the phrase over the next few months, all using the version of the sentence starting with "A" rather than "The".[3] The earliest known use of the phrase starting with "The" is from the 1888 book Illustrative Shorthand by Linda Bronson.[4] The modern form (starting with "The") became more common even though it is slightly longer than the original (starting with "A").
A 1908 edition of the Los Angeles Herald Sunday Magazine records that when the New York Herald was equipping an office with typewriters "a few years ago", staff found that the common practice sentence of "now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party" did not familiarize typists with the entire alphabet, and ran onto two lines in a newspaper column. They write that a staff member named Arthur F. Curtis invented the "quick brown fox" pangram to address this.[5]
As the use of typewriters grew in the late 19th century, the phrase began appearing in typing lesson books as a practice sentence. Early examples include How to Become Expert in Typewriting: A Complete Instructor Designed Especially for the Remington Typewriter (1890),[6] and Typewriting Instructor and Stenographer's Hand-book (1892). By the turn of the 20th century, the phrase had become widely known. In the January 10, 1903, issue of Pitman's Phonetic Journal, it is referred to as "the well known memorized typing line embracing all the letters of the alphabet".[7] Robert Baden-Powell's book Scouting for Boys (1908) uses the phrase as a practice sentence for signaling.
RPDfefi/fofum
Learning not to huff baby boomer farts
1yr ago#2660032
spent 0 currency on pings
This feature is going to ruin the counts for the Marseys at rdrama.net/marseys . It's cool to which ones people like best, but now it will bias towards ones with more common keywords.
TheRInWreathStandsForRoxyfive/night Please, I'm a night guard at a pizzeria. **Of course** I have a weapon. 1yr ago#2659917
spent 0 currency on pings
The sign is a subtle joke. The shop is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed", where feed and seed both end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name of the owner, Sneed. The sign says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with"Chuck". So, when Chuck owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Frick and Suck".
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What's this list? Most attractive users?
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ppl who posted in this thread https://rdrama.net/post/100561/marseycapyeffendi-post-in-this-thread-if
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Nah these are the sexies for sure
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Least Lazy Dramatards.
No respect for Manual Marsey mode.
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#mood
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What's up homie
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Idk just pinging ppl
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Getogeto my man.
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Hi buddy!
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this is a great
addition i can marseypost with minimal effort ![:marseypaint: :marseypaint:](/e/marseypaint.webp)
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i'm not gonna be turning it off any time
soon ![:marseysoonretarded: :marseysoonretarded:](/e/marseysoonretarded.webp)
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Daddy
said my name
![:marseylove: :marseylove:](/e/marseylove.webp)
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Praise be to our holy leader
Aevann, the king
of rodents
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s*x
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aw yiss
I was shooting
heroin
and reading
“The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police
cruiser when a call
came in. I put a quarter in the radio
to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans
fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just
stole four hundred and forty-seven million
dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin
needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster
would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark
my words: we’re going
to figure
out who did this and we’re going
to take
them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best
I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there
and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal
office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over
them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents
the Police!®” I said, flashing
my badge and my gun and a small
picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going
to pay me to investigate
this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong
economic motivator, I’m just
going
to stand here and not solve this case. Cash
is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold
bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune
in computer
money
invented to buy drugs
was missing.
I figured I could wait
them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady
coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke
is a myth. Just
then, a man in glasses
made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right
there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country
needs
a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks
to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal
government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will
never
happen.
I was losing
him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point
for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold
and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand
was a revolver
that the Constitution
said he had every right
to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet
lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot
from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing
down his weapon. “I give
up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek
Yogurt Presents
Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future
free
from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldpeepee the guy. Years ago, a central banker
killed
my partner. Instead, I shook
my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter
how many
bitcoins you steal, you’ll never
take
away the dream of an open society
based
on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then
he swiped his credit card
to pay me for arresting
him.
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you're fricking bananas if you think I'm reading all that, take my downmarsey and shut up idiot
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bad bot
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this is pretty
amazing because I didn't want to be marsified with no possibility of it being turned off, but I definitely wanted to be marsified for awhile
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nice![:marseyaward: :marseyaward:](/e/marseyaward.webp)
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Based
and redpilled, this is the best
update.
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Snapshots:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
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This is great! Thumbs
happy
good ![:marseyfeelsgood: :marseyfeelsgood:](/e/marseyfeelsgood.webp)
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true
neurodivergent
dramatards
dont need the
setting
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The quick brown fox jumps over
the lazy
dog
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The earliest known appearance of the phrase was in The Boston
Journal. In an article titled "Current Notes" in the February 9, 1885, edition, the phrase is mentioned as a good
practice sentence for writing
students: "A favorite
copy set by writing
teachers for their pupils is the following, because it contains every letter of the alphabet: 'A quick brown fox jumps over
the lazy
dog.'"[2] Dozens of other newspapers published the phrase over
the next few months, all using the version of the sentence starting with "A" rather than "The".[3] The earliest known use of the phrase starting with "The" is from the 1888 book
Illustrative Shorthand by Linda Bronson.[4] The modern
form (starting with "The") became more common even though it is slightly longer than the original (starting with "A").
A 1908 edition of the Los Angeles Herald Sunday Magazine records that when the New York Herald was equipping an office with typewriters "a few years ago", staff found
that the common practice sentence of "now is the time
for all good
men to come to the aid of the party" did not familiarize typists with the entire alphabet, and ran onto two lines in a newspaper column. They write that a staff member named Arthur F. Curtis invented the "quick brown fox" pangram to address this.[5]
As the use of typewriters grew in the late
19th
century, the phrase began
appearing in typing lesson books
as a practice sentence. Early examples include How to Become Expert in Typewriting: A Complete Instructor Designed Especially for the Remington Typewriter (1890),[6] and Typewriting Instructor and Stenographer's Hand-book (1892). By the turn
of the 20th century, the phrase had become widely known. In the January 10, 1903, issue of Pitman's Phonetic Journal, it is referred to as "the well
known memorized typing line
embracing
all the letters of the alphabet".[7] Robert Baden-Powell's book
Scouting for Boys (1908) uses the phrase as a practice sentence for signaling.
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That's great and all, but I asked for my burger without cheese.
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Cool
beans
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This feature is going to ruin the counts for the Marseys at rdrama.net/marseys . It's cool to which ones people like best, but now it will bias towards ones with more common keywords.
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you're right, I made marsified comments not count towards it, king![:marseybased: :marseybased:](/e/marseybased.webp)
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Is this retroactive
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nope
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Based indeed.
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The sign
is a subtle joke. The shop is called "Sneed's Feed
& Seed", where
feed
and seed both
end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name
of the owner, Sneed. The sign
says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words
beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with"Chuck". So, when Chuck
owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Frick
and Suck".
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thank you capy
king, my live has been fulfilled by this great
feature
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fsdfsd![:marseyschizocapygitcommitlove: :marseyschizocapygitcommitlove:](/e/marseyschizocapygitcommitlove.webp)
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nice toggle
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:)
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very based![:marseygivecrown: :marseygivecrown:](/e/marseygivecrown.webp)
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Love this update too much
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Would it be possible to make it a per comment toggle?
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yeah, thats called adding marseys manually lol
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Rattle big black
bones
in the danger
zone
There's a rumblin' groan down below
There's a big dark
town, it's a place
I've found
There's a world
going
on underground
They're alive, they're awake
While the rest
of the world
is asleep
Below the mineshaft roads it will
all unfold
There's a world
going
on underground
All the roots hang down
Swing from town to town
They are marching around down under
your boots
All the trucks unload
Beyond the gopher holes
There's a world
going
on underground
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zoz
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zle
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zozzle
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So based, thank you capybara
man
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Wait
my house
award
is useless now ![:marseycry: :marseycry:](/e/marseycry.webp)
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thank you king
just testing this out now
i love
sucking peepees
punch me in the face, daddy![:marseybiden: :marseybiden:](/e/marseybiden.webp)
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i love
sucking peepees
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suck
my peepee ![:marseychadthundercock: :marseychadthundercock:](/e/marseychadthundercock.webp)
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jews![:marseyswastika: :marseyswastika:](/e/marseyswastika.webp)
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holocaust![:marseymerchantelf: :marseymerchantelf:](/e/marseymerchantelf.webp)
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kek
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Am I schizo or was that my suggestion?
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what if someone has this toggled on and gets a marsify award, will it insert two relevant marseys in every place or will nothing happen
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it will
give
the person
whos trying to give
the marsify an error ![:marseybug2: :marseybug2:](/e/marseybug2.webp)
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Thanks
capy, marseys will
be far more common now
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Make
it so if you turn
it on you can't turn
it off
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Cool
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