It so cold's out my pee pee fweezes, you nots no what it like to has your ding dong fweeze...

Translated using AI because I wasn't gonna read it either.

"Mom! Come on, help me put my sweater on—I can't do it by myself. It's so cold outside that my private parts are freezing. You wouldn't know what that's like…but you understand, so you'll help me, right?

Thanks, Mom. My little paws are freezing, too! Well, that's because you refuse to wear your doggy shoes. I'm a dog, darn it—I can't stand those awful things! So, what do you want me to do, Your Majesty? Carry me! Oh, so you can pee on me? You're too big for that. Whatever…I really need to go now."