it's literally me

Thats called autism at best people will pity you unless you have something to offer them. Everyone else already has friends when a normie says "just put yourself out there just socialize more" they know its bad advice and your only purpose is to do shit for people and then be alone so your loser tist self doesnt bother them. You cant get better at socializing as no one wants to socialize with an r-slur when they already have friends and you cant make friends as no one wants an improperly socialized strag. Get used to it