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Forgive me Marsey for I have sinned.

Forgive me Marsey for I have sinned. I've never been to confession before.

I've gazed up /r/christianity and I've wished death and despair on my fellow believer, or at the very least, fellow human

I've shitpost and called people "cute twinks" and told them to "kill themselves"

I've relentlessly trolled children on the internet until they've deleted their accounts

I've gazed upon a beautiful woman lustfully

I've coveted my neighbor's car

I repent of these sins, please forgive me, amen.

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It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to pass through the gates of heaven

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I mean, as long as the camel doesnt have to be alive when it goes though the eye of the needle, this is pretty easy to achieve with today's technology.

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I am writing in response to your request for my political opinion on "big tiddy goth girls". I must first state that upon receiving this electronic message, I had to direct one of my interns to look it up for me on the internet, as I am much to old and feeble minded to use a personal computing system. Upon finding out the meaning of this, I must say I am quite against women with large bosoms who dress and do their powder and rogue in the style of gothic. I believe this style of appearance too closely mimics that of satanism, and while the first amendment protects this, it is something I cannot morally support.

Lastly, you also mentioned something about "traps being gay", which was another term I had to have defined for me on the internet. Men who cross dress as women; it would still be having a homosexual relationship even if they had the appearance of a woman. So this time, I am actually in agreement with you on this.

This is perhaps one of the strangest requests for opinion I have ever received, and I am sorry to make this response brief, but I must make my hourly trip to Dairy Queen, as it is a good place for u kno what.

Sincerely,

Chuck Grassley

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