DXM: My experiences with America's legal, over the counter dissociative

I've been aware that getting high on DXM (the main ingredient in cough syrup) was a thing for a long time. I avoided it when I was younger because it sounded like a combo of getting drunk and high and a cursory glance at available products showed everything had a bunch of poisonous additives that could make you sick or cause serious health problems.

In recent years however sellers online and in retail have sprouted up selling pure DXM. I didn't think much of it, until I mentioned how it was legal to a friend, to which they responded "for now".

Nothing makes me want to buy a product like thinking the busy body feds and their simps might ban it. I even picked up a newport cigarette habit for a few months when the federal rule making process to ban menthols kicked off. So I bought a green bottle of robotablets from Amazon just so that I could say I had some.

I sat on them for a few months as I hadn't bought them with an intense desire to get high, but just to have them on hand. I haven't smoked weed regularly in almost a year and don't drink outside of rare social occasions so I'm not constantly chasing drugs for a cheap thrill. However, eventually during the come down from a multi-day takeout binge , I felt the urge to get high and decided to take the plunge.

Over the next few weeks I would take them on my weekend nights, one bottle contains multiple recreational doses so it really became kind of habitual. This culminated in an epic 48hr bender where I cleared through an entire second bottle by redosing every 6-8hrs (note: this is medically inadvisable) .

Some experiences I want to relay:

• this drug really intensifies the pleasure you can get out of music. I had my big headphones on the whole time and added dozens and dozens of songs to my spotify account over this time period, and enjoy the songs still today.

• hallucinations can occur, but mostly only in the absence of other stimuli. For example, at one point I put on an eye mask to shut out light and after a while I felt as though I was looking at my room in the dark. For a few seconds, I forgot I was wearing the mask at all. During the absolute peak of drug usage though, I did watch the light in my bedroom swirl and mix together, as if it was oil on water that someone had taken a spoon and mixed the visual data. It only happened while I stared intently at it, though, when i broke my gaze and looked at something else my vision was normal again. At one point I looked in my bathroom mirror (naked ) and the longer i stared it was like the blemishes and imperfections on my skin magnified and grew larger. I didn't want to have my experience turn negative so I moved on quickly instead of lingering. A few days later, the opposite happened, I looked in the mirror and observed the femininity of my face and body and felt quite beautiful and understood why men showed so much interest in me on some sort of zen with the universe level.

• this stuff is a couch lock drug. When I stood up and walked to go to the bathroom or get some water it felt like the world was spinning up and down separately in each eyeball (not a nauseating experience, surprisingly) and each step was very deliberate. This got easier to deal with as I grew accustomed to the drug.

• this drug made me feel a warm euphoria. It's like the universe was giving me a hug. At times it felt sort of like being in a dream, except the intensity of visual stimuli showed me I was clearly awake. It was very pleasant and I found myself laughing and enjoying myself very much doing simple activities like browsing rdrama or tiktok.

• I had a moment of deja vu, which can happen at higher doses. I saw this thread from @starry, and was convinced someone, perhaps @Retorque_Fila_Fatum had posted it before. Then I scrolled down and noticed as if for the first time that I had already made a comment about the post having been made before. For what felt like an hour I watched the purple glitter stars of my rdrama background fall, metaphorically grilling with starry in a fuzzy warm dream world. I'm not sure why I found it so comfy, but I did, and now I feel like starry is my rdrama bestie even though we've hardly talked before or since and she had no idea wtf i was blabbering about.

After the multiday bender with that second bottle I went to sleep, and woke up the next day...still pretty fricking high. I started worrying like, oh no, i fricked my brain up i'm gonna be messed up forever . I went to free therapy where I talk about trying not to be a fatty and just let loose on the therapist, with incredibly introspective and deep observations about myself. It was incredible, and surprising as I had spent all my time on this drug in solitude. I went to work, and, at this point I was sober enough, with only some short term memory lapses getting in the way of my job, which I compensated for by writing things down and taking care of stuff immediately. When I woke up the next day and still felt weird I really started worrying I had done some sort of permanent damage, but I did some research and as it turns out it's not uncommon to have an afterglow that lasts as long as a week on higher doses. It was actually incredibly positive for me, I was incredibly productive, and really solidified new eating habits during this period.

It turns out that, like it's cousin ketamine , DXM has been suspected to have antidepressant properties and is even being sold as an anti-depressant in a combination along with the active ingredient in Wellbutrin. It's been a few weeks now, and I'm really happy I took this drug. It helped me a lot with binge eating and the side effects are gone. Because tolerance builds quickly and many online have spoken of ruining the magic of the drug permanently by overusing it, I will probably buy a bottle maybe once or twice a year moving forward, with my next date set for early 2025. Please do your research before doing this drug, as dosing is dependent on your weight and you should be aware of potential side effects. Thanks for reading!