My edibles for the weekend

Frick it, story time.

In college, my freshman dorm had a hidden room in the closet which lead underneath the stairwell.

This was around 2010, when Lil Wayne was incredibly populat amongst cultureless whites.

Naturally, the secret room became a bit of a drug den. It was an inconsequential frickabout until this one pasty bastard began a lean addiction.

I watched this rich white kid descend into the throngs of an opium addiction in the lamest way possible. This motherlover would double stack Styrofoam cups, add ice, add a jolly rancher, pour in his codine/promethazine and top it off with sprite.

That shit is hard to come by, so naturally he made sketchier and sketchier friends. I'd come back from class or some shit and there'd be a rando in my closet sipping lean with this guy.

A couple months in, this cracker butt neighbor was withdrawing hard and was desperate, so him and this guy Texas Fred broke into the Health and Wellness center and stole all their drugs (prior to this, the center had a healthy stock or narcotics).

Couple more weeks pass and he is out again. The health care insustry had clocked him for an addict and he had no more places to rob without shit getting really real.

In a dopesick closet confession, he had a moment of clarify - a rare glimpse of self-awareness. He admitted that he only started doing lean because Lil Wayne did it. Lil Wayne was cool and he wanted to be cool too. Now, he felt lile death all the time and his peepee didn't work.

I laughed at him and told him Lil Wayne has always been dog shit. I'm usually one to have something to say when confided in, but this time I was speechless. I just told him that was the lamest shit I've ever heard and then ripped a bong. He dropped out soon after.

The moral of the story - mayos are pathetic.