Ever notice how drugs interfere with your life in pernicious ways? It's not one catastrophic collapse, but it occurs in small increments until you're fricked. Sending stupid emails, not answering important calls because you're fricked up, wasting precious time when you could be working, networking, and building relationships. I look at my inbox and I cringe at the dumb shit I've sent while on ambien or benzos. When I was really fricked up, I just produced gibberish and sent it to important people. However, on mild highs I'd make small mistakes as well, like sending emails signed with my nickname instead of the formal name I use at work, or just not responding to important emails.
As I've mentioned, I got a new job that I'm starting on Friday, and already the responsibilities are coming in. It has become clear to me that a professional life isn't compatible with drug use. You'll miss opportunities, waste time, and others who aren't druggies will surpass you in terms of career advancement. Furthermore, when you have responsibilities, other people are counting on you so when you frick up it doesn't just affect you, it also makes work a pain for other people who are just trying to do the right thing. I'm sure you know one butthole at work whose incompetence bags everyone down. I don't want to be that guy.
Right now I've got tons of ambien. But I'm waiting for some important phone calls. Also, I'm in a fancy hotel my workplace booked for me to help me move cities so if I get fricked up I might wander out my hotel room and do fricked up shit. A few weeks ago, I binged on benzos and I went to the weed dispensary where I bought a ton of edibles. I blacked out, and I only have flash memories of going back to the weed store where the budtender asked me why my lip was so fricked up and bleeding. I have no idea why. I bought a cannabis soda and a joint, and I remember the budtender helping me put the joint in my pocket, so I think he realised I was fricked up. That's embarrassing, and I can't be doing shit like that anymore. One day I'm going to end up calling a work colleague and saying inappropriate things while on benzos or ambien, and I'll have no memory of it.
Have any of you managed to juggle drugs and responsibility? Or are the two incompatible?
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I quit drinking 8 years ago. It's not just your work that suffers but all your relationships too. Some people can be high functioning boozers but yea I wasnt one of them. I've never tried benzos though
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