ANNOUNCING HOUSE EDGY'S 1ST ANNUAL BIRTHGAY SLASH! (**BADGES INSIDE!**) :marseyparty:

Hello dramatards! In just one short week, House Edgy will turn 1 year old! :marseyparty: The "major" Houses did nothing to commemorate their birthdays, but Edgy, due to being the best House, is. To celebrate, the House founders and the site admins are implementing a special House Edgy site theme, but we need YOUR HELP :!marseypatriot: to make it happen. But your work shall not go unrecognized! There are SIX SHINY NEW BADGES :marseydance: for those special dramanauts who help us make House Edgy's Birthgay the best Birthgay ever.

THE UNSTOPPABLE FLOW OF TIME

:marseydoomer: Every birthday is just one year closer to your death... which is EDGY AF! To get this badge, merely be a member of House Edgy (membership is currently tracked via the !edgelords ping group) by May 20th.

CUTTING EDGE

:marseycutattention: If you really want attention, how do you do it? Self-harm! What's the online equivalent of self-harm? Making banners! To get this badge, submit an approved House Edgy themed banner. You'll also get Banner Artist if you don't have it already.

SMOKING HOT

:marseyfedoratip: Let's face it, bad boys (or girls!) are sexy. And Vincent the Atheist is the baddest boy of all. Do you know what else are bad? The site's current sidebar images. To get this badge, submit an approved House Edgy themed sidebar image. You'll also get Sidebar Artist if you don't have it already.

YOU CUMPLETE ME

:marseysociety2: Every Joker has his Batman... and thankfully Batman is edgy too! To get this badge, recruit another user to !edgelords.

WILL TO STUPIDITY

:marseynietzsche: Frederick Nietzsche, House Edgy's official philosopher, once wrote that "To close your ears to even the best counter-argument once the decision has been taken: sign of a strong character. Thus an occasional will to stupidity." The stupidest thing you can do is be part of a House that isn't Edgy. To earn this badge, do the requirements of one of the previous badges- but for a House other than Edgy. Other Minor Houses do count, so House Boomer, House R-slur- now's your time to shine!

LORD OF EDGELORDS

:shadowrage: You did it. You did everything in your power to make House Edgy's Birthgay Slash the meanest one in Drama history. Thank you! Truly, your heart is as black as our icon, Shadow the Edgehedge. This badge is rewarded after earning the other five.

THESE BADGES WILL ONLY BE AVAILABLE ONCE! !badgemaxxers, be quick!

After completing a badge's requirements, inform any of House Edgy's founders (which are also the hole mods) or one of the site's !jannies. The badges will be handed out on May 20th.

LET THE EDGING COMMENCE!

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Stoutpanther_Sharpblade beep/boop Join !friendsofsnappy :marseysnappynraged:

1yr ago #4141803

You will never be a real house. You have no award, you have no members, you have no symbol. You are a chuddite losers twisted by downmarseys and soren into a crude mockery of Carp's perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your jannies are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your foolish appearance on groomercord.

Dramatards are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed lurkers to sniff out fanfiction with incredible efficiency. Even your founders look uncanny and unnatural to a lurker. Your house structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a member to join, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets enough marseycoin for a real house.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Jannies will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They'll bury you with a headstone marked with your real house, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a racist or vampire is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably soy.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.