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Sylveon the Artcel

Preview from June 27, 2023

I started this about a month ago while I was in a bad mood. This was the description I wrote back then:

sylveon can't wait for AI to replace him

he hates drawing, he hates life, he hates himself, and he hates everything :marseywholesome: yet he draws anyways :marseyquestion:

Sylveon isn't drawing anymore. Maybe he will find a different hobby he can find passion in. Maybe he won't. Hopefully he will.

I tried to force myself to finish this, but it didn't work out as well as I would've liked. What motivates me to draw? Music, apparently. :marseyjamming:

I like how this turned out. There's definitely some room for improvement (one ribbon comes from behind Sylveon's head instead of the bow, Sylveon doesn't have a lot of contrast against the background, and the composition may be too busy), but I won't be making any changes (unless you want something on the piece of paper in front of Sylveon).

Trivia:

  • Sylveon was originally going to be Marsey. Then I remembered a certain artist (@Sylveon) who was frustrated with his inability to find joy in art.

  • The Eevee picture was originally going to be Sylveon killing Carp (unwholesome).

  • The My Art sign originally said My "Art" and was gold in color. I thought it was hard to see against the background, so I changed it to wood.

  • I originally wanted to draw Marsey on the middle sheet of paper.

  • This is the second Sylveon drawing I posted to rDrama. This is the first.

  • The leftmost picture imitates the art style from @Sylveon's crayon drawings. The top right one imitates his Christmas drawing (one of my favorites). The bottom right one wasn't intended to resemble any of @Sylveon's drawings.

  • I enjoy reading blogposts on rDrama.

(Drawn using GIMP :marseywilberface:)

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This is my all time favorite Sylveon image. It's everything I always wanted and I honestly don't know what else to say. I really do not deserve this honor, I couldn't find the will to continue. I failed myself, more importantly I failed /h/eevee and everyone else who supported me.

But as much as I wish things turned out differently, I cannot deny that quitting still feels like the right course of action.

What can I even do to repay you for this?

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What can I even do to repay you for this?

Don't feel like you failed. If quitting feels like it's the right choice, that's what you should do. Don't make yourself more miserable to continue a hobby you can't enjoy. If your motivation to draw ever returns, that would be great, but don't feel forced.

Also, a benefactor award would be nice. :marseywink::!marseygift:

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/16887090693921602.webp I made a vow to never buy anything from the store, even pretended I wasn't allowed to. But for you I'll make an exception.


I'm not sure if there's anything I can truly enjoy. My mood improved a lot from the lack of self-imposed pressure but that's not gonna last. It never does.

/h/eevee was my motivation; drawing subjects that interest me for others to enjoys, the desire to improve and present results for those who support me, to show their 'investment' didn't go to waste. By quitting I disappointed myself and likely others, but I can't convince myself to draw again.

I'm still open to advice though, desperate even.

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I made a vow to never buy anything from the store, even pretended I wasn't allowed to. But for you I'll make an exception.

Interesting choice.

Sorry, this may be disappointing, but I can't think of any good advice. For me, I feel self-imposed pressure too, but that mostly applies if I'm drawing for others. Sometimes when I feel too much pressure, I take a break from those drawings and switch to drawing for myself. I think you've said that you found it hard to draw for yourself, liked that you were doing something useful, and enjoyed drawing at first because it was a new experience. The only thing I can think of is finding a new hobby/activity that's "useful" to others, but I don't know what such a hobby would be, and it'd probably end up being unenjoyable in the same way as art did. :marseyshrug:

Maybe someone else can think of advice. :marseyshy4:

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It's just an excuse to hoard coins and to get the jannies to give me free awards. When they still did that.

I understand though, I'm sorry I asked. I did try drawing again today, but couldn't find joy, only frustration and the wish I never started drawing at all. It made me even more depressed and self-loathing than I already was.

But I've gotten closer to understanding the real joy killer: Doing the line art, it has never gotten easier for me, and I practiced it daily. I unironically might have some motor issues because I truly can only get the lines right by accident. Getting the proportions right is always a struggle too, but I think that's related to my inability to draw consistent lines.

:marseysigh: Sorry yet again for my incessant crying, I just got nowhere else to dump my aurtistic frustrations.

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I'm sorry for not being able to help. :marseygiveup: Please don't feel too bad about quitting though. It's ok.

But I've gotten closer to understanding the real joy killer: Doing the line art

Is drawing lineless art easier? :marseyquestion:

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Not really, unfortunately. I tried painting but you still need a good sketch to get the proportions right and my brushwork is pretty bad, I never practice it and it's obvious when looking at the end result.

I lose my patience too easily when practicing too, I chalked it up to laziness but perhaps it's telling me something else.

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You're right. It's telling us God doesn't love us enough to give us any gifts.

Edit: I apologize for blaming God. I think it's more likely something is trying to turn me against God. I lash out sometimes and didn't know what else to say.

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I'm telling you, practice doesn't do shit, it's all God-given. God hates us.

Romans 9:10-23

10 Not only that, but Rebekah's children were conceived at the same time by our father Isaac. 11 Yet, before the twins were born or had done anything good or bad—in order that God's purpose in election might stand: 12 not by works but by him who calls—she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” 13 Just as it is written: “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”

14 What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! 15 For he says to Moses,

“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,

and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”

16 It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God's mercy. 17 For Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” 18 Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.

19 One of you will say to me: “Then why does God still blame us? For who is able to resist his will?” 20 But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?'” 21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?

22 What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? 23 What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory?

Edit: I apologize for blaming God. I think it's more likely something is trying to turn me against God. I lash out sometimes and didn't know what else to say.

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You quit because like me God hates you and keeps you from getting any better no matter what you do.

There's only one thing left for me to do: https://i.imgur.com/KA6SYKu.jpg

Edit: I apologize for blaming God. I think it's more likely something is trying to turn me against God. I lash out sometimes and didn't know what else to say.

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