the most badass guy who ever lived was barely 5 foot tall

i was gonna post this in /h/istory which i got a notification it was created but it's apparently not actually there because i get some dumb error message when clicking it so...

meet audie murphy! a dude who makes rambo look like someone who has antifa in their twitter bio.

so the japs pearl harbor'd us and audie murphy, being a typical american, immediately went to the local recruiting offices and lied about his age so he could go to war. being a 5 foot nothing 100 pound weakling they told him to kick rocks. after hassling them for 6 months they finally gave up and he enlisted in the army.

he landed in sicily. on a scouting mission he saw a couple of italian fascist officers and did his antifa duty and put them down. later on another scouting mission in italy him and his bros were ambushed by nazi machine guns. one of his boys got kilt so audie and the other guy took out the machine gun nest. at anzio him and his boys were in a random farm house to get out of the rain when a tank rolls by. they took them out, with audie crawling out of the house alone to rifle grenade the tank. he got his first bronze star here. in italy/sicily he was in and out of the hospital because his tiny frail body couldn't cope. he still left italy/sicily as a staff sergeant.

he landed in france in august of 1944. him and his crew were strutting through a post d-day southern france like they were the shit when they were ambushed by nazis. he immediately picks up a machine gun, killing two and wounding one. the remaining nazis pee their pants and come running out to surrender. audie's bff acknowledged their surrender and the nazis immediately shot him. audie murphy stormed the house alone killing 6, wounding 2, and taking 11 prisoners.

then the most rambo shit ever happened. like a scene straight from a rambo sequel when they went crazy with the action. he was now commander of company B. they are holding a road near a french town no one has ever heard of when 250 nazis and 6 tanks show up lookin' for a fight not realizing they were already dead becacuse audie fricking murphy was in that field. he's calling in reinforcements as their tank destroyer gets...destroyed. the crew bails and audie tells everyone to get to the woods and regroup. he immediately goes towards the fight instead of away from it, climbing on the destroyed destroyer to use it's machine gun and give his boys time to retreat/regroup. he's on the field telephone trying to get artillery support when they ask him how close the nazis are. he responds with just hold the phone and i'll let you talk to one of the bastards! . he then proceeds to spend the next hour holding off the nazi push. he's shrapnel wounded in the leg but ignores it and continues to mow down nazis. he kills 50 and only stops because he's out of ammo. he's calling in artillery closer and closer to his position the whole time. one of the other americans there later wrote it was the greatest display of guts and courage I have ever seen...for an hour he held off the enemy force singlehanded, fighting against impossible odds. . he won the medal of honor for this.

i've only scratched the surface of his war stories. he wrote a book that everyone should read to heck and back. they turned the book in to a movie. the actor who played audie murphy? audie murphy. there wasn't anyone that could even pretend to be 1/10th as badass as him, so he had to do it himself.

fun coned fact: this book is half responsible for my never ending love for anything WW2. in my early 20s i was bored one day and smoked enough weed to make snoop blush and started channel surfing. saving private ryan was on. i was fricking enthralled. higher than i'd ever been and so fricking invested in this movie. that night i had a world war 2 dream. the next day i went to the local library and searched world war 2 book . to heck and back was near the top of the list and had a cool name, so i got it and that was that. i was doomed to forever be a huge boomer butt world war 2 nerd at like 22.