35F, never dated b/c of weight | PlusSize never stops posting Ls

I'm 35F. Never dated because of my weight. Have had s*x twice. I know I sound like a loser. I'm actually conventionally pretty but I know my size gets in the way. I'm an 18/20. I have large thighs, cankles, enormous back fat, slight apron belly. But it's all fairly balanced (except my back fat and fat arms). Anyway, I don't know totally why I'm writing this. I think I feel lost, sad, embarrassed. I actually kind of like someone right now and there are moments when I think he likes me but I know he doesn't because I'm fat and there are thinner, more beautiful options. And I actually think I'm really pretty in the face. Sorry, I'm ranting now. I guess I just need support so I don't feel like such a loser.

For the millionth time… lose weight… you'll feel so much better. dumb r-slur.

>today I will go to reddit instead of addressing the problem that's causing me intense distress

This isn't a "no s*x or dating because I'm fat" thing, size 18-20 is NOT big, this is a self esteem issue. Girl, start loving yourself, have long hot showers, give yourself a body scrub, look after your skin, make an effort with your outfits... just LOVE yourself. The rest will follow.

Love,

A fellow size 18-20 x

cope levels once thought impossible are being reached. 18-20 is NOT BIG