Gurl is huge cause of safe foods apparently

Context, a lot of my friends are in Europe and have a lot of different foods and stuff. We got on the topic of Oats, and I started to explain how I have strong sensitivity to texture. I'm plus size, I always have been obese at any age I've been. Certain textures and tastes make me throw up, and I'm trying to get better at it.

I've talked about it before with my friends about how I dislike a lot of common foods, like I hate alot of meats (Ham,Steak,Hamburgers, Grilled chicken,Fried chicken, etc) My diet mostly consists of breads, pastas, crackers etc because they are an easy safe food for me (I grew up really broke and that's what we could afford when I was younger) and I'm aware that if I change my diet and carb intake I could get skinnier and etc but it's just hard for me, but I'm improving.

But back on topic, I was explaining how I'm not a fan of oatmeal/porridge, and how I wouldn't want to try Haggis either. They start talking about oats more and I'm just like haha yeah, I'm not a fan. I'm a huge fan of oatmilk and such but just not a fan of oatmeal itself. Anyways, they all go on about how it's healthy and two of my friends joked about how I really needed some because it lowers cholesterol and then my boyfriend chimes in saying "haha you really need that" And like yeah haha okay I'm fat, I get the joke.

But sometimes I just get so sad about it. Like it's so hard for me to turn on my webcam when my boyfriend wants it because I know I'm fat and ugly. And then he gets super upset when I call myself those things, but he keeps joking about it? Like I don't know if I'm over reacting or not but sometimes I just think that's all any of my friends will see me for.

Why does it matter if I'm fat? Why can't I just be seen as normal? I can do things everyone else does, I can exercise, I can go on hikes and walks and hangout and have fun. Why does everyone just see me as Fat when I know I'm so much more? Why is being fat such a bad thing if I'm just like everyone else? I know they didn't mean to make me upset and they are just joking but I would never EVER mention how they are underweight. I never point out or make fun of them for being underweight. The only time I even come close to making fun of them is asking if they ate today or how I could "beat them in a fight" But I've said so many times I hate stuff like that and they just keep doing it. How can I get better if my closet friends are constantly making jokes about me?

I know I'm taking it too much to heart because I know they are joking but sometimes it just seems like they'd rather have me be some skinny girl than just be me.

>I really needed some because it lowers cholesterol and then my boyfriend chimes in saying "haha you really need that" And like yeah haha okay I'm fat, I get the joke.

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