I matched with @Landlord_Messiah on Tinder and it didn't go v well

So I'm on my dating app of choice recently and not looking for anything serious.

Of course, that's always a tricky thing to communicate on an app because once you let the guys know you're looking for no-strings they're suddenly all interested and a lot of them are jerks about it.

I like a little banter and some flirting. What I often get is short texts like “what's up” or ones that jump straight to dirty talk.

When I mention this I always get some misogynist telling me j deserve it some how. As if a woman open to just having a little fun is a mindless piece of meat open to abuse.

The thing is, that is NOT how most men behave. Plenty can still put a little bit of effort into being charming and witty without acting entitled. The type of guy who thinks a woman is “asking for it” with he behavior is not the type of guy I'm ever going to get with.

The guys I end up meeting are typically good guys. They're respectful and laid back. And they're honest. Well, mostly honest. Except for one thing.

I know you're jumping to “guys always lie about how big they are.” But that's not always the case! Though it often is. In any case, I'm not a size queen. I hate to break it to you, guys, but that extra inch you round up doesn't make an earth-shattering difference. Girth is more important than length anyway!

The thing so many guys lie about is their height. What the heck, fellas?

Look, I'm aware there are women out there who have a height thing. I think it's weird. Personally, I'm tall for a woman. And maybe some women would use that as an excuse to excuse.

“Well, I'm. 5'7” and like to wear heels so I only date guys over 5'10”

I've actually heard them say things like that.

Well, I AM 5'7” and I DO wear heels and I don't care how tall a guy is as long as he's not insecure about it.

And when they lie, it does seem like they're insecure about it.

But the thing is, it's not just guys who are my height or shorter! Guys who are clearly 5'10” often say 6'. Guys who are 5'8” say they're 5'10”

I would say it's like exaggerating on your résumé' to get a job interview, but it's not like they just do it on the apps! Most guys say it all the time! Do they believe their own hype?

So back to my night on the dating app…

I meet a guy who is perfectly charming. He says in his bio that he's 5'9.” Not that it matters to me. I was on the road for work travel and I asked if he wants to meet up at the bar in my hotel's lobby.

At this point, it's not a sure thing for him, but it's darn close. If we are meeting at a bar at my hotel we are more than likely going to my room. I'm just verifying there are no red flags or the guys doesn't have BO or halitosis.

So he shows ups. He's personable and well-dressed. He's also clearly no where near 5'9”. He's clearly shorter than me, and I was wearing flats because I don't need to put on heels to impress a hook up.

It's not a big deal. Like I said, a lot of guys do it. We have a couple of drinks and there is obvious chemistry and we're joking around and flirting and even being a bit risqué.

EDIT: He started talking about how most people are misleading on dating apps and we joked about bad experiences.

And then I ask the same question I asked above: what the heck is up with guys exaggerating their height?

Based on the rapport we had up to that point, I assumed he'd make a joke of it and we'd move on and the night would continue with us going upstairs.

Instead, he lost his cool IMMEDIATELY.

He went right to “why is a big deal? Why don't women disclose their weight?”

Which seems like the definition of a a false equivalency because I didn't make a joke about guys lying about their weight.

Obviously he'd failed the red flag test with how quickly he lost his cool, but I still had not pulled the plug. I laughed it off and asked if he wanted to know my weight or exchange driver's licenses to compare stats. I'm not shy about my weight. I played sports in college and it still on a website somewhere, I'm sure.

He honestly still had a shot! All he had to do was put in a little extra work to reassure me his flare up was a blip. I was looking for fun, not a boyfriend. He didn't have to be perfect.

But he couldn't do it. I want to emphasize that height doesn't matter to me. It was just obvious because I know my height and he was shorter! I wasn't trying to pick on the guy! Just tease in a flirty way.

He couldn't let it go, though. I'm not going to claim I'm a 10/10. I'm not a model or anything. But I'm fit and attractive and pretty open-minded.

This guy got dressed up, left his home, and came to a hotel bar on a weeknight to get laid. And he blew it because of his own insecurity!

And part me wants to be petty because his attitude ruined my night, too.

Of course, from his perspective, I ruined his night by bringing up the height padding in the first place and not understanding why it upset him so much. Still, he was absolutely still expecting things to lead to s*x and I had to politely decline.

He called me a dirty name and I said I'm sorry you feel that way. I could have responded with something nasty, but I decided to be the bigger person figuratively as well as literally.